


Mercy

by IBLF



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, Football | Soccer, National Women's Soccer League, US Women's Soccer National Team, Women's Professional Soccer, talex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 68,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8582113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBLF/pseuds/IBLF
Summary: Tobin leaves the US for Paris in not-so-good terms with some people. She thought she left everything behind her but when the biggest ghost of her past crosses paths with her again, after a long time, feelings come flooding back in a rush. Will she be able to put everything behind her or will she cave? Is she truly ready to go back or is she the same girl who took off without goodbye?Will she have mercy on her or will she tear her apart?





	1. Going back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based in Shawn Mendes' song, Mercy. USWNT AU.
> 
> This is the absolute first thing I write, so please be gentle. I love you guys.
> 
> P.S: when you see these ** that means that's a flashback. Be nice.  
> P.S. 2: If you can, I strongly recommend you to have Mercy playing on the background for this one. Enjoy ;)

"Wake up Tobs, you have a plain to catch" she hums and tries to ignore it.

_If I ignore her long enough, she'll let me sleep a bit more; I have time, she tells herself. ___

"Come on Tob-Tob, you gotta go" she speaks again. Tobin opens one eye first to see her tanned face over hers. She's standing on a side of their bed.

"Let me sleep a bit more please, mi amore, I beg you" she rolls to her side and hides her sleepy face on a white pillow.

"You can't. You have to get on a plane back to the U.S in a couple of hours" Laure tells her with a sad smile plastered on her face.

A grumpy Tobin finally sits up and fully opens her big brown eyes to stare deep into hers. "Come here" Tobin makes her sit on her lap. And Laure hides her face on the crook of her neck. "I know, I know. But I have to go back, you know that right?" The French girl nods in her spot in the crook of her neck and she continues. "I would not leave you if I had the chance, but I have to"

"I know" she simply answers.  
"You mean a lot to me" she tries to get her to look at her but Laure seems to be more comfortable in what has been her hiding spot since Tobin got to Paris from California last season. "Hey, look at me" she finally looks up with tears building up in her light blue eyes.  
"You mean a lot to me too" Tobin wipes one sneaky tear away for the girl's cheek before continuing.  
"I'm sorry. Je suis désolé" the French girl laughs and kisses her sweetly, just a peck on the lips.  
"Oui" she gives her another peck on the lips in response and gets up. "Now get up and start getting ready, I'll make breakfast"

She gets up like she told her, right when Laure walks out of the room, leaving her all alone in her soon-to-be ex-bedroom.

She tugs her messy hair into a ponytail and walks to the bathroom, strips of her clothes and gets in the shower.

She contracts her muscles once the cold temperature of the water comes in contact with her warm skin, _'just what I needed, a cold shower' __, she thinks._

"Come on, hurry up, pancakes are getting cold" she hears from afar.

Tobin finishes her shower and leaves the small bathroom in only a sport bra and Nike Pros, looking around the room for her only outfit outside the boxes, stashed in the small apartment's living-room. She finds her clothes folded, laying on top of the already made bed. _'She must have put it here while I showered' ___

She puts on her ripped skinny jeans, black v-neck shirt and combat boots with a dark green jacket, kinda like a military jacket. She takes her still damped hair to the right side and takes her phone and Bible from the nightstand; she puts the first object on her left back pocket and the other one inside her PSG backpack.

She takes her suitcase and bag and steps outside, finding Laure in the kitchen, putting a plate of pancakes and bacon on the kitchen island.

"I thought I was getting baguettes, cheese and wine" she kisses her temple and sits down in front of the plate, taking a big bite of her food. She hums before talking again. "This is delicious Laur"  
"I'm happy you like it. Now, eat it fast, we have to go. The girls wanted to say goodbye too so they're waiting at the airport" she states with her thick french accent and takes another sip of her orange juice.  
"Thank you" she kisses her one more time, making the most of the last hours they have together. It was supposed to be just sex from the start, it was supposed to be easy and liberating, and she wasn't supposed to catch feelings like that, but she did. She's not in love or anything, but she cares deeply for her ex-teammate, she cares for her in a new level, higher that she would have imagined the first time they saw each other.  
"You're very welcome"

She finishes her plate and takes it to the sink, drinks her own glass of juice and wipes her mouth with a napkin. "I'm ready" and with that, she leaves the room grabbing the stuff she's taking with her, the rest Laure will ship out in a couple of days.

They get inside Laurie's cars after putting her luggage in the back.

They start the drive in silence, quiet, steady, like they're afraid of saying the wrong thing. They don't want to say goodbye but they have to.

Tobin, in the other hand, feels conflicted about her migration back to the States. She's excited, it's been a while since she has seen her friends, family, teammates and Alex. That's the thing, Alex. Alex is the reason why she's nervous and anxious.

She hasn't seen or talked to her since their big fight, about something that's still confusing, frustrating and not entirely clear for Tobin.

*

_She was pacing when Tobin got to their hotel room. She looked up to see her walking in with a bit of fear in her brown eyes, but that doesn't seem to appease her, it actually makes her angrier. ___

_"Is it true?" She asks already knowing the answer.  
"What's true?" Tobin asks back once she's already in the room, keeping her distance, knowing Alex can be very difficult when she wants to pick a fight. ___

_"Don't play dumb with me, Tobin, is it true?!" She yells making the other girl jump back._  
"What's happening Lex?" she talks patiently, careful.  
"You did it, didn't you?! You said yes! You signed the fucking contract!" She takes a step forward and Tobin takes a step back. __

_'Oh, shit. If she's cursing then it must be important', she's too occupied talking to herself to realize that Alex keeps talking in spite of her not answering. ___

_"I can't believe you'd do that to me. After everything we've been through. After everything I did for you!"  
"After everything __you _did for me?! You gotta be kidding me. I don't know what you're talking about, Alex, because all you have ever done is take advantage of me!" She didn't mean to, but her voice got at Alex's level by the end of that painful statement. ____

_She knows she struck a nerve, because she watches as Alex's whole demeanor changes in front of her eyes as she goes from mad to shocked to sad to furious. ___

_"So, __I _took advantage of you. Poor Tobs, the sweet little girl who can't do __anything _wrong __ever. _Poor, poor little thing. You know is the big bad wolf, mean Alex who took advantage of dear Ms. Heath!" She's getting madder by the minute and Tobin knows it, but she won't back down, not anymore, not this time. ______

_"Stop! Yelling!" she steps closer and now there's only one step between them._  
"Shut up Tobin!" Alex takes the last step towards the girl and kisses her roughly.  
"No, no. We're not doing that anymore. I'm __done _with being your pain reliever. I'm done with this sick twisted relationship that's not even a fucking relationship in the first place!" after a couple of seconds into the kiss, she pulled back, pushing her hard, making Alex take a couple of steps back to gain back some stability, Tobin __finally declaring _something she should have done a long, __long _time ago. _____

_"So there it is. We're back there again. I'm always the bad one. I'm always the one to blame" Tobin now is not only mad but exhausted. ___

__She laughs without fun and shakes her head. "So it's __my _fault now. __I'm _the one who won't break up with her __boyfriend _but keeps hooking up with her supposed best friend, giving her __just _enough to keep her tight wrapped around her finger but __not _enough to actually be __with _her! You're with me without being with me. You're here but nowhere near. You're intimate with me but we have no intimacy. You broke me, Alex, and now the only thing I can do is get myself back together but I can't do this here, can I? Not with you being everywhere. Every time I turn around there you are, reminding me of how stupid I was. How stupid I've been for all this years putting you before everyone and everything, including myself! But not anymore. That's it. I'm different and I'm leaving" she takes a deep breath, calming herself down a bit. ________

_"I can't believe it" Alex whispers more to herself than to Tobin, looking at the floor, melancholy clear in her blue ocean eyes.  
"I'm leaving, Lex. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not coming back until I'm healed. I'm not coming back until I'm 100% sure I can be around you without letting your power affect me in any way, and that might take some time" she's calm now, easy, like she normally is. ___

_"You __can't _leave me!" ____

*

\- - - - -

Her palms are sweaty, her knees weak and her head feels heavy. She's about to walk out of the luggage claim area. She's delaying the inevitable.

_'You have to do this at some point, Tobin. You can't keep delaying it. You already stayed 2 months more than you needed to, you can't go back to Paris. Or can you?' ___

"Why is your head like that, Tobs?"  
"Cheney!" She was so distracted arguing with herself that until that moment she hadn't realized she walked out with her head tilted to the left and lost eyes. Lauren spots her and took her out of her trance, making her jump to her welcoming arms, looking for that comfort only _she __could bring to the nervous girl. "You came" she whispers, her words hitting against Lauren's chest._

"And I'm not the only one." That's when she really saw through. That's when her eyes meet with a sight she wasn't ready for.

Her heart stopped. _'I can't believe it' ___

This is the beginning. This is how it starts. She's back. And _nothing has changed. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. I'll try to update as much as I can but be sure I'll do it at least once a week. Love you guys, have a great day!!!


	2. You're Not Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is back, but has anything really changed at all? Has she? How will cope with being back in the U.S. and being away from Paris and the commodity it represents? Away from Laure. Away from the Tobin she was when she was there?
> 
> That's the real question. Did Paris and Laure changed her? And if it did, would she now change back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Another chapter!! Well, I had absolutely no time to double-check this so if you happen to spot any error please tell me in the comment section. Feedback is deeply appreciated and strongly recommended. Thanks, love you guys!
> 
> Today's song for the flashback part is Lies by Marina & The Diamonds.

Her heart stopped. _'I can't believe it' ___

_This is the beginning. This is how it starts. She's back. And nothing has changed._

_\- - - - -_

_"Tobin!" _' almost everyone on the team is here, they all came to see me. All for me. ' ____

__She's standing there, letting the moment sink in. She's back and everyone was waiting for her, happy, loving._ _

___' I can't believe it ' she tells herself. ____ _

____"Earth to Heath! Come on princess, come back" someone is waving a hand in front of her teary eyes.  
"Amy! Oh my God!" Tobin hugs the blonde woman, not wanting to let go. "I've missed you guys so much" she whispers.  
"We've missed you too, honey" Cheney calmly says from her spot next to the other two girls, still hugging._ _

_____"Alright, let go now. I want some"_  
"HAO" Tobin jumps to her too, leaving Amy behind her with a big grin and crossed arms. "I've missed you"  
"Me too, Tobito. What's up? Had fun in Paris?" Heather gives her a look but she's too busy looking around at all her other friends, she doesn't notice.  
"Yeah, sure. Is that Ash?" she points to the blonde woman's direction.  
"Yeap"  
"I'll say hi to the rest" she walks into the big circle of friends and family, being embraced by everyone almost immediately. 

___She tries to sustain a conversation with everyone but she keeps being pulled away by another person. She had already hugged about 25 people but she hasn't seen the eyes she wanted to see. _' Do I really wanted to see her right now, right here, though? ', ___she reasons._ _ _

____There's one person left to hug. Christen._ _ _ _

_______"Pressi" she hugs her tightly. The other girl reciprocates the hug and whispers into her ear.  
"I've missed you Tobin" they break apart and smile to each other.  
"Missed you too" they lock eyes for a couple seconds until Tobin is being requested again by Megan, who wants to get her to «spill» about _parisiennes filles. ___  
"Tell me about the girls, Tobs. The city of love, you had to" Ashlyn laughs and nods.  
"Tobin got some fine ass from Paris?" Tobin is now blushing so intensely Lauren has to be the merciful one and get her out of that conversation._

_____"So, I think we need to leave now. It's been like 30 minutes" everyone laughs at her joke, and she keeps going, she's standing in front of every loved one that came today, loving and appreciating them more than ever. "But for real, you blew me away with all of you coming I'm today. I'm definitely shocked, but delighted. I love you guys, I thank God for every and each one of you"_ _ _ _ _

_____She gets some aw's and says goodbye to almost everyone, when she's done, she starts walking to Cheney's car with her luggage she had to rip out of her best friends' hands._ _ _ _ _

_______"You're tired right?" Lauren asks while holding the trunk door open for Tobin to put her suitcases in with Amy's help.  
"You have _no ___idea"  
"Well, we're having a sleepover at the Holiday Household but you can go straight to sleep if you want and we'll see you tomorrow" Amy smiles reassuringly and Tobin responds with one herself. _' I have missed you ' ___she thinks one more time while she gets inside the car.  
"I wanna talk to you guys, it's been a while. I'll stay awake for as long as I can but, I make no promises" she says, climbing into the backseat while Amy gets shotgun._ _ _

_______11 hours and 50 minutes. That's her whole flight's duration. 11 hours and 50 minutes of stress, anxiety and insecurities for Tobin. 11 hours and 50 minutes trying to decipher if those feelings were because she was only worried about coming back after leaving all of them, or because she was coming back after leaving someone specifically. And if that was the case, was it because she was over it and didn't want to fight and make her feel bad about her moving on, or because she came back the same desperately in love girl who got in the plane for Paris a year ago._ _ _ _ _ _ _

________' Why things gotta be so fricking complicated? ' ___she shakes her head sleepily and starts to drift away into her sleep, before something snapped inside her brain. _' I have to text Laure I'm here ' _____ _ _ _ _ _

_________She gets her phone out of her pocket and looks for her contact info. She finds blue eyes, a sweet smile and a french name and knows she's gonna miss her. Is one thing to say and think that there, with her, but here, she doesn't have to think that, still she does._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________**T: I'm here Laur. I miss you so much already. What did you do after I left? ******_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________**She looked at the time, it must be super late in Paris.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****T: Oh crap I'm sorry. I hadn't looked at the clock. ******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****She slaps her forehead. _' Will I ever learn? ' ___she scolds herself and sighs.** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________****_"Everything alright back there champ?" Lauren asks trying to connect their eyes while she alternates hers between the backseat and the road.  
"I texted Laure _twice ___. So stupid" Tobin stares at the conversation like if staring at it could make it go away, unsend, but it won't.  
"I thought we were done with dating like teenagers Tobs" Amy says, both of them laughing at a now frustrated Tobin, frowning in the back.  
"I meant because of the time, idiots. It's so late there"   
"Or early, here's kinda late too"  
"9 hour difference. Must be like 4 a.m"_ ** ** _ _ _ _ _

_________****__She feels a vibration in her hand and looks down to find Laure self-proclaimed nickname light up her screen._ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**Laure "Belle" B: It's okay Tobs, I miss you too. Way too much. The girls got me to go get coffee with them and then I went home. I trained a bit later and started shipping your boxes. ******_ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**They've always been like this. They know that if one of them asks is to _really ___know the answer, an honest one too.** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_Tobin smiles to the phone and Lauren notices, looking through the rearview mirror._ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________****__**_"Someone got the text, Amy. And apparently a good one, she's smiling"  
Amy turns in her spot and tries to grab her phone but Tobin's quicker. She swiftly moves her phone to the back of her neck and puts the empty hand in Amy's chest.  
"Let me see!"  
"No Amy, what the heck?!" They're all laughing but Tobin's getting anxious. Time is passing and she doesn't want Laure thinking she left her on read because she was back and already forgotten her._ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_Tobin turns too, resting her elbows on the back of the seat and focuses._ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_**T: How was coffee? Tell the girls I miss them too. Ready to get rid of me, huh? ******_ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_**Her response came almost immediately.** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_****"Belle": It was fine, same old same old. I'll tell them. What do you mean? ******** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******T: You shipping my stuff so fast haha. I was kidding. I'm glad you had fun. I don't want you sad, okay?  
Belle: Oh, not at all. I just thought you'd like your stuff as soon as possible. I think I'll steal some clothes now you're not here to supervise ;) ******** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******Tobin smiles again, forgetting the voices coming from her back, telling her to share her thoughts. She did _not ___want to. She wants _every ___memory with Laure all to herself. She was selfish with that now. Selfish with her.** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__Tobin started typing a witty response when another text came._ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________****__**_******__**"Belle": And about that, I am. I can't help it. Are you? ******  
Tobin was quick to respond this time.  
 **T: Yes. You have no idea. I miss you, I miss the girls, I miss Hera, I miss the team staff, I miss my life there. I think I'll even miss who I used to be too. Who I am there. ******  
After a couple of seconds, she decided to do it.  
 **T: Miss who I am with you. ******__ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__******"Who's Hera?" she jumps in her place and turns to find they had already arrived at Lauren's house and parked, got her stuff out and Amy and Lauren where ready to head inside. She had Amy spying on her from her right side and Lauren on her left.  
"You guys don't understand the concept of privacy" she handed her phone to Amy and got outside, grabbing her things before walking away, leaving her best friends behind reading her conversation with Laure. She stops. "And it's a cat we found on the streets by the stadium, we named him Hera and fed them every day" and with that, she went inside.** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________****__**_******__******"Tobin!"  
"JRue!" Tobin hugged the guy after dropping the suitcases. She missed him too.   
"How was your flight?" he asks with a toothy grin like hers and grabs her suitcases.  
"Awful" they laugh together and walk to the living. "It was super long and even with a nice lady as flight attendant, it was rough. The girl next to me was funny and interesting but she didn't let me sleep so now I'm burned out"  
He laughs louder now and goes for a side hug while frantically moving his hand on top of her head. "Poor Tobs, getting all the attention from the ladies" with another laugh, he lets her go and talks from the kitchen a couple of seconds later. "Want something from the kitchen?"  
"Water please and I'll take a steak with mashed potatoes and carrots from you" she points to Lauren when she comes into view.  
"I know you like I was the one who gave birth to your loud ass" they walk to the kitchen laughing, Amy and Tobin staying on a side while Lauren shuffles around and JRue drinks a glass of milk.   
"Here, dude" he slides the glass of water on the kitchen island towards the midfielder and she catches it with her right hand.  
"Here you go Tobs, you got another text" Amy whispers handing back her phone, that she takes with her left hand and unlocks.** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _

_________****__**_******__********"Belle": I miss you too, and everyone misses you too. Even Hera. I know what you mean, but I also know that you are going to have a great time being back. Everyone loves you. Here, there, everywhere, people always fall in love with you, but don't worry, we'll be fine. ******** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********She knows she's not talking for her ex-teammates anymore, but she's going to ignore it. She can't say that, she can't lie to her. Tobin's attitude shifted and Lauren and Amy knew why, but JRue oblivious did something no one wanted him to do. He asked.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********"So about this french girl. How are things? How is she?" her shoulders dropped even more, if possible. He got a look from both his wife and his wife's best friend before landing his eyes in Tobin's lowered head. "Oh. Sorry"** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********He earned a slap from his wife and a head shake from Amy, but a reassuring smile from Tobin.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********"It's okay, JRue, don't worry. I'm a bit sad, actually, I left her there and I know she loves me but what can I do?" she shrugs and drinks half of her glass.  
"You need a guy talk" he crosses the kitchen to get to her, wrapping his big hand in her shoulder. "Come on, Lauren and Amy will heat up dinner"** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********He leaves the room and Tobin, after a nod to both girls, she followed.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********He stopped in his room, at first, she thought that's where they'll talk, but when she sat on his bed, he looked at her funny.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****__**_******__********"What are you doing?" JRue asked.  
"I don't know, aren't we gonna talk or wh--"  
"Not here, duh" he shows a ball in his hands and points towards the door with his fingers and head. "Let's go"** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********They hear whispers coming from the living, once they're out of the hall they can decipher the sounds.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________****__**_******__********"Why would she do that?"  
"She's selfish, Lauren, she has always been."  
"How can she do this when -"  
"Hey guys! Did you talk already?" Amy cuts Lauren off and even though they never said a name, Tobin's suspicious. She has an idea of they're talking about. She think she does.  
"No, where on our way now. See you in a few" JRue takes control again. He says without even turning his head, he just heads to the door with Tobin close by.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********Tobin does turns her head and recognized sadness in their friends' eyes. They were sorry, but about what? They were being careful around her too, that upset her more than anything else.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********_' They now I don't like it when they treat me like I'm a fragile little baby ' ___she thinks but doesn't say out loud. Instead she just keeps walking with a frown on her face and stops when JRue starts shooting with the ball, throwing it at the hoop in front or their garage.** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****__**_******__********_"Hoops?" He asks extending the ball to her like an offering.  
"Sure, man" she grabs it  and shoots; it goes in.  
"Uh. You chose the wrong sport to go pro" they laugh together._ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********_That's true, she was _good. ___She used to spend _all ___of her free time either jamming or playing basketball with her little brother. Well, actually, they played any sport trying to beat each other but Tobin always won._ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___"I have my days" she shrugs.  
"We're at three-point distance. You _have ___to play with me on the 2v2 with the guys" he asks shooting one more time. It goes in. It's Tobin's turn._ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****__**_******__********____She gets the ball and stands next to him and in front of the target, dribbling the ball. "So talk" she turns her head with confusion when he talks, demanding her an answer.  
"What should I say?" She shoots and goes in again. JRue's turn.  
"I don't know. You should say something like, «Hey man, my best pal ever, I'm having trouble leaving my french girl behind and all of that, so like, this is happening» and you tell me about the whole thing." He shoots, gets the ball and comes back, handing it to Tobin, loot her straight in the eye. He might have been joking, but the message was clear and serious. "That's what you should say or something similar"_ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________****__**_******__********____"I don't know. It's complicated," she dribbles the ball. "she's so pretty and perfect and easy to talk to and be with but it's just not what I want. I can't give her more than what I have already given her but at the same time, I don't wanna let her go, I don't. I wanna be selfish like I've _never ___been. She makes me feel cool, in control, normal. I _care ___for her but I don't love her, she does love me and I know that, and for that, I can't keep this going. I mean, I could" she shoots and goes in again, "but I'm a good person, a moral person. I'm not a jackass. She deserves someone who could love her the way she wants and needs and I'm not that someone" she stops and looks at him, who stares at her right back, with understanding in his dark eyes.  
"Have you told her that?"  
"I did" she looks as his shot goes in and he goes get the ball, handing it to her once his back in his place.  
"Then you shouldn't feel guilty. You're adults, and as adults you made a consensual decision to maintain casual relationship with no feelings involved. You're not the bad guy" she sighs and looks at him with pleading eyes, wanting him to be right.  
"It's that" she starts once the gets the ball back; her shot goes wide. "It's that I can't shake off the feeling that I'm her Alex, you know? Like I'm doing to her the same thing she did to me, and sucks. I don't want to act like that, I don't wanna be like that" she vocals for the first time her real concerns, and she's worried about his response, but he doesn't seem to judge her, but to empathize with her, grabbing her right shoulder and forcing her to look at him._ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********______"You're not, Tobs. And the fact that you're so concerned about it proves it. You're not" he assures her, but she doesn't seem to believe him, so he continues. "What she did to you was _awful ___. She tricked you into lying to everyone you know and love. She tricked you into being in some sort of weird relationship by giving you just enough to make you want to stay, hopeful about a future that did not exist, but not enough to be a real relationship with her. She made you lie to her boyfriend, your friends, your family, her family, the press, the team, everyone. She lied to you in the worst way, making you forget about everything and anyone but her, including who you were. You became a different person for her, you changed for her but she didn't change for you. That sucks, Tobin. It does. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry we couldn't protected you from that, I'm sorry we let it happen, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, to get you out of there before you were completely broken, but it happened. It happened and now we can't change it, we can only move forward. Forget about it, move on. You're _not ___her and you're _not ___with her and you don't have to even forgive her, just ignore her. Don't let her affect you" she's crying now, heavily but without a sound escaping her lips, and he has his hand on her shoulder, strong, firm, reassuring. Given her the support she so desperately needs from him right now, talking about something that ate her up from inside out for so many years. "You're the best person I know, Tobin, and I have a great mom and an amazing wife. The best most caring person I know. I hope my baby turns out just like you" she hugs him, he's crying too. They stay in their embrace for a couple of seconds more before breaking apart, wiping away their tears and laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________****__**_******__********_________"I can't believe we just cried" she said and he laughs.  
"Don't tell nobody man, I'll kill you" they break into laugher again and get the ball, long forgotten when the conversation started to get deep.  
"I won't, but I'm tired, hungry, sad and hot, I feel gross. Let's just go inside"  
"Sure thing, hottie" he makes fun of her.  
"I meant like warm, idiot" he puts am arm in top of her shoulders while walking to the house, with the ball on his other side. "And whatever, I'm hot too"  
"Sure" he lets her go in first and shuts the door. She's looking at him instead of ahead when they walk in the house.  
"Oh shut up" she playfully hits him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********_________Sadness long forgotten._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********__________' She's behind me ', ___she assures herself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********__________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________****__**_******__********__________"Oh shoot" _' how could I forget, idiot ' ___  
"What's wrong honey?" Lauren asks from her spot next to her husband at the dinner table, where all four of them are currently eating every one of the thing Tobin demanded for dinner when she first got there.  
"I forgot to text Laure back with the whole «boy talk» thing" she whines searching for her phone.  
"Hey! It's «guy talk», have some respect, Heath" Lauren slaps him and Tobin gets up from her spot next to Amy to keep searching.  
"It's at the coffee table, Tobs" Amy points and she hurriedly crosses the open room to where her phone resides._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________She grabs it and sees she got another text._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**"Belle": You fell asleep. I guess this is how Lauren felt like when you fell asleep on her. When you were with me. Well, don't worry, amore, we'll talk soon. Tomorrow maybe. Don't blame yourself too much. <3 ******_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**45 minutes since she got the other text, 15 since the last one. She could still be able to talk, right? It hasn't been so long.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________****T: I'm so so sorry. JRue wanted to check on me and we went outside to play hoop and left the phone inside the house. I forgot to text you back. Are you there? Can we talk now? :/ ******** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________****Tobin was sweating. She was worried sick, she was dying. The suspense was killing her. She felt like a teen.** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________****__**_******__********___________****"Calm down, Tobin, you'll pass out"  
"Haha, Amy, you're so funny. Shut up" she goes back to the table and sits down. When she feels her phone vibrate and Laure's reply light up her screen, she lets out a breath she did not know she was holding. "Thanks God"  
"So that's how teenage Tobin was? I expected more of you, buddy"  
"Shut up JRue" she replies, unlocking her phone and reading the text.** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________******"Belle": I'm here. We can talk. Play hoop? What is that? Well, I am glad your friends are checking on you, they care for you. ******** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********T: Oh, sorry. Basketball, that's what I meant. Hoops is basketball. Yeah, they're pretty cool. I missed them. ******** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**********"Belle": And I bet they missed you. How's California? ******** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________************T: It's alright. I can't wait to go to Basking Ridge though. I want to see my family. I miss you. ******** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**************"Belle": I miss you too, Tob-Tob. When are you flying in? ******** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________****************T: Sadly a week. My family took a trip to Costa Rica without me, can't you imagine? They're mean. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________******************T: I hate to be stuck here for so long without being able to unpack. I have to rent a place in Portland by season time. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************"Belle": What are you going to do for a week? And you were in Paris without them, it's only fair. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**********************T: I was in Paris out of WORK, they are in a surfing paradise and didn't invite me :( I don't know what I'll do, honestly. I'll practice, surf, eat, sleep, the usual. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________************************"Belle": Oh, so you didn't enjoy your time here, it was just work :| When does season start? ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________**************************T: A couple of months. No, I enjoyed my time there entirely, that's why I stayed two months longer than I had too ;) ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________****************************"Belle": Tobs, I have to go. Have fun! ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________******************************T: Good luck out there without me ;) I will <3 ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************"Belle": haha thanks, you'll need it more than me though;)) <33 ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________****__**_******__********___________********************************She locks her phone and looks up. "Are you back already?" Lauren asks from her spot on the couch next to Amy.  
"I thought she was going to stay in coma for at least an hour" Amy speaks to Lauren, like ignoring Tobin, but she's ignoring them.  
"Where's JRue?"  
"God, Tobin, _I'm ___your best friend, not him. Am I going to have to get jealous?" She crosses her arms and Tobin laughs in response.  
"No, but I need to tell him something. I need to thank him for the talk" she peeks on the hallway and looks outside opening the front door.  
"Well, text him then because he left about fifteen minutes ago" Lauren is keeping her act of being mad at her, but she sees the corners of her mouth go slightly up when she sees Tobin's disappointed look on her face.  
"Without saying goodbye?" _' I swear Tobin is such a child sometimes ' ___Lauren talks to herself.  
"He did say goodbye but you were lost in your conversation with little «Belle» there to hear him." She threw the air quotes in there and everything.   
"Oh, okay then. What are we doing then?" She simply asks once she has plot on the couch between her two best friends.  
"We're talking about feelings" Amy says with a devilish grin on her face.** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************__Tobin grunts and throws her head back before looking up to the TV, that was obliviously playing some stupid RomCom Tobin will for sure hate, before she vocies her thoughts: "This is why I like JRue better" she crosses her arms and surrenders, knowing there's nothing she could so to avoid what's about ti happen.  
"Love you, Tobs" Lauren kisses her cheek and snuggles to her left side._ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************__She stiffens when a pain-injected memory comes flashing without a change for her to stop it._ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************__*_ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________****__**_******__********___________********************************___"You'll do it, right?" Tobin sighs and keeps turning her Bible's pages, the one on her lap, keeping her glued to the bed, helping her stay away from the naked blue-eyed girl in front of her, freshly showered. "Right?" She tries again, when Tobin won't look up or say anything. ___  
_"Lex..." ___  
_"Please" Tobin makes the mistake of looking up, taking some time to travel through the girls features up to her ocean eyes. ___  
_"I'll do it" she gives in, like she usually does. ____ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************_______Alex let's herself fall down in the bed next to her without bothering to put anything on and goes for a kiss. She kisses her cheek, takes the bible away from the girl's lap and lets it fall to the ground. She pushes her down, going down with her, resting half of her naked body on top of Tobin's, resting a hand on her chest, using the other to get herself a bit higher to be able to look at her. ____"Thanks you, Tobs" she starts kissing her on the lips, hers leaving a burning sensation when she travels down. _____ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************_________She won. Again. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************__________She knows she won too, and Tobin knows it. She knows Alex's manipulating her, but that moment, the moment she climbes on top of her and starts unbuttoning her shirt, the moment where her eyes are a darker shade of blue and her breathing is uneven. The moment she gets lost in her ocean eyes and does not feel frightened. The moment she's allowed to touch and kiss without hesitation or constriction. In that moment, she knows she does not care, she'll do anything to please the pretty but hurting eyes she has looking down in her, from her spot on top of her lap. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________****__**_******__********___________********************************___________"Alex I can't --" ___  
_"Shhh. Let go" ___  
_And let go she does. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************______________The worst mistake she has ever done. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________****__**_******__********___________********************************______________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________****__**_******__********___________********************************______________"Tobs why are you crying?" Lauren whispers to her and looks her right in the eye.  
"I--"  
She now hears the noises coming from outside the house.  
"Leave, you have no right." That's Amy. "Get out!"   
She can't breathe. She's going to pass out. Her head is heavy.  
"Tobin talk to me" Lauren says strongly.  
"I need to see her!" _' Oh god no ' ___she knows who that is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ** ** ** ** _ _ ** ** ** _ ** _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Let me know if you have something to add to the story, your thoughts, predictions, whatever. Have a good day y'all! <3


	3. Shook Ones Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin finally faces Servando. He apologized but that isn't enough, she won't fall back into the same old routine. She claims she has changed but, has she? Maybe she has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for not updating last week. It was kinda tough. My mom and I fought and my dog died. Hopefully, I'll be able to update at least twice this week to make it up to you. Tell me what you think in the comments please? Tell me if you actually want me to keep the story going or if I should just drop it. Have a great day, guys!! (Also, if you see a mistake anywhere, let me know too. Thanks

"Leave, you have no right." That's Amy. "Get out!"   
She can't breathe. She's going to pass out. Her head is heavy.  
"Tobin talk to me" Lauren says strongly.  
"I need to see her!"  _' Oh god no ' ___she knows who that is.

_"Lauren, is that Servando at the door?" Tobin isn't crying anymore. She wipes her cheeks and eyes and is ready to do front to her problems. She knew was she was getting into when she came back. This was _going ___to happen at some point.  
"Tobs I-" she walked to the door, letting Lauren with her words on her tongue._

__She opens the door and sees them arguing a couple steps away from the door. He was about to leave, but hell no she wasn't going to let him walk away again._ _

__"Where are you going, Carrasco. I'm here" she spits, cold, sharp, like a killer. She's about to be, in her mind, because her thoughts go to the darkest places when he's around or when some memory of him pops out. Ever since that night._ _

__*_ _

___"You lying bitch!" He screamed at her. She sighs and turns around slowly. She wonders, ___isn't it someone who _won't ___yell at me today?_ _

_____She looks deflated, defeated. She looks at her angry friend and knows she should be panicking imagining he found out, but she doesn't care about anything anymore. ___Thanks God Almighty the plane leaves the day after tomorrow, I don't know how much of this I'll be able to stomach until I implode, _she talks to herself. _____ _ _

_________"What do you want, Servando?" Her voice is calm, untouchable and that drives him borderline psychotic. ___  
_"What do I want? To kick your ass until you pass out! That's what I want" forget the borderline part; he's getting closer but Tobin couldn't care less. For the day she's been having, she couldn't be more ready to be murdered, honestly. It's like she's already dead. ___  
_"I have absolutely no time nor I'm in no mood to do this today. Write down my screw-up, take a number and wait in line. See you tomorrow at the party, Carrasco" she says and turns around to get inside her house but he grabs her arm strongly and forces her to turn. ___  
_"You're not walking on me. We're going to talk" he's way too close for her liking, but he takes a step back on his own and lets go of her arm. "You lied to me, you made me confront her and she almost broke the engagement! I asked you as a friend and you almost destroy my relationship" he's calmer now but that doesn't mean he's stable. ____ _ _ _

___________"I need you to calm down, Servando, I don't understand" she honestly says. She doesn't. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He takes a few deep breaths with his eyes closed before opening them, revealing a much stable Servando. He's okay now. Mad, but okay. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________"I asked you if Alex was having an affair. I asked you, as a friend. As my best friend" he's not her best friend, that's all she could think of after he spoke. In fact, they weren't even friends, she was just the girl who's fucking his wife. Make that past tense: who ___was _fucking her wife. But she was not going to tell him that, instead, she let him continue. "And you lied to me. You lied to my face and said yes and I-" _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________"I never said that, ___Servando" _she took a deep breath, she was completely exhausted. "I said «go talk to your soon-to-be wife about it», that's it. If you thought that was a yes then that's ___your _problem, not mine." ___  
 _"You... I... I thought you were admitting she... I went to talk to her about it like you said. I went and asked her to tell me the truth. I confronted her and she got mad at me for saying such things" he started laughing but Tobin suspected he did not found anything of that funny. ___"She _got mad at ___me _for that. Typical Alex" ___Oh he has no idea, _she thinks. "Well, she got me, because I lowered my weapons and accepted my loss, accenting her cheating on me God only knows how many times before" she felt so guilty recognizing true pain in his eyes. He might not be the ___best _husband to Alex, but he loves her; and it's not like Alex is a ___great _spouse, quite frankly, she's the worst to him, but he doesn't even suspect just ___how _bad. Not only God knows how many times, she knows, it was with her. "But then she snapped and her eyes almost popped out, I swear, like she just remembered something important. And she starting yelling that if I didn't take her word for it, that I should just search through her phone to see if I found something. She looked so dead inside, cold-hearted." She knows what he means, she has seen her like that a lot, more times than she could count. "Well, I did it. I searched through her stupid phone and found nothing and then it all became worst and she threatened me. She said she was going to break-up the engagement, that she was going to leave me." His eyes are watery and his breathing even. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________He's truly sad, but he shouldn't. She's poison and she's killing him just like she has been killing Tobin since the moment she laid eyes on her that one day. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________She's killing them slowly, painfully, leaving behind only empty shells of whom they used to be. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________She does that to people. But she also makes them crave it, she makes them not want to walk away. She's death, and she makes them suicidal. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________"I'm sorry for that, Serv, but that's not my fault, and I think you know that already" she sighs and hugs him, to give him the support he needs but also to break off this conversation. "I can't talk right now, we'll keep talking tomorrow." ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________That's not the first lie she has told today, and something tells her it won't be the last. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________That's not even the worst part of our 3-days long fight ___, she reminds herself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________"What do you want!!" She screams at him, surprising even herself.  
"Tobin let's just go inside and-" Amy reaches for Tobin but she takes her arm away from her touch and takes another step in Servando's direction.  
"No" she cuts the blonde haired girl. "I won't leave again so he can hide behind his big man phone and call me all sorts of nasty things to me he doesn't have the _balls ___to say to my _face ___over the fucking telephone!" She snaps again, but turns around with a softer look on her face, with a hidden apology on her eyes. "I'm not coming in, but you can go if you want" she says calmer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________"I'll stay." She's looking at him with roughness too. Both hating him for what he said to Tobin a year ago._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________"I..." he cuts himself; he looks nervous. Tobin steps in, one step closer to him, cold-hearted, furious and challenging.  
"Aren't you going to kill me like you said so many nights ago, _Serv? ___It ain't such thing as a halfway crook" she spits, making fun of him and his idiotic fake gangster ways.  
"I..."  
"What's up? Dyke bite your tongue, _Serv?" ___  
"I'm sorry. I did not know what I was saying. I didn't mean to. I wanted to apologize but you blocked me and nobody would give me your new number when you changed it and I... I'm sorry"  
"Bullshit, Servando! You can't keep doing this to me. Insult me in the worst way and then apologize saying you didn't mean that!" she's about to combust of how mad she is, she's taking all her anger at him, saying this she should be saying is to his wife. "Clearly you mean it because you keep saying it!"  
"No, I don't. I'm impulsive and-"  
"Bullshit!!" She's in his face now, ready to punch him if she feels like the situation merits it.  
"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" she takes it down a notch, breathing deeply, counting to 10 in her mind. "I had to blame it on someone, and you were there. You were convenient. I'm sorry. I say things I don't mean all the time"  
"Okay" she steps back, putting some distance between them. She turns to see Amy, who's face matches Servando's with shock. "But I now I need you to get the hell out"  
"I'm sorry-"  
"And I said I forgive you, but I won't have it. I don't want to have _anything ___to you anymore. I'm done. _Goodbye ___, Servando" she said it with such finally he didn't even consider to ignore it, so he turned and started walking to his car._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________After watching him take off into the lonely night, she turns to and takes Amy's hand into hers, looking for disappointment in her stare, but she can only catch surprise and delight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________"What?" She smiles. "You thought I was going to burst out crying and tell him I was his bestie?" She asked ironically. "I'm different now" she shrugs but she says that with pride._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Amy just smiles back and starts walking to the house, hugging Tobin all the whole way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________"And can you please enlighten me... Where did you get «it ain't such thing as a halfway crook?», cute christian Tobin?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Lauren is making fun of her, both are, but Tobin knows they're proud of her for not putting up with his bullshit. She knows it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________She shrugs and takes another handful of popcorn. "My favorite song"  
They laugh hysterically, so much that they end up Amy on the floor and Lauren hitting her leg for 5 minutes or more before actually breathing and calming down. "A trap song, Tobin?" Amy questions from the floor in front of the leather couch.  
"It's actually old-school rap" she simply states and the laughing begins again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________They've been watching a movie Tobin chose after the RomCom she was forced to watch. It was about a Latin boxer who gave up his craft because of the high life and it was half in Spanish and the other two girls had absolutely no knowledge in the matter, but Tobin does and she's happy, so they kept their mouths shut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________They were kinda understanding a bit thanks to the explicit visuals of the movie, they could only imagine the conversations to go along but Tobin tried to explain and comment every once in a while and they had _no ___idea, so they just hummed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________When the movie ended and the credits rolled up they sighed softly and stood up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________"You didn't like the movie?" Tobin looks like a 5-year-old who just showed her favorite superhero movie to her best friends and they didn't liked it. She looks sad and little. _I swear to God she's more like a kid as time goes by, ___Amy shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________"We couldn't understand anything of it, Tobs. We don't know Spanish" realization was what went through Tobin's face.  
"Oh, sorry about that. I assumed. I'm sorry" she shrugs and helps them pick everything up and carry it to the kitchen.  
"But did _you ___liked it?" Lauren asks. They only want to make her happy.  
"I did" she smiles. "Thank you for that. And for everything really" she hugs them and turns, shouting back on the way to the stairs. "Bathroom break, I think I'll take a shower real quick." And she's gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________"Should we talk about it now or you think later would be better?" Amy is careful with her words, whispering even when the other girl is upstairs showering.  
"Later, I think. Maybe tomorrow" Lauren has the same demeanor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________Tobin gets out of the shower and gets herself decently dry before walking into the guestroom to where her open suitcase awaits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________She gets a pair of tight-fitting black Nike leggings, a perfectly fitted white v-neck, Nike Pro's boxers and sports bra and her favorite pair of simple black-and-white running shoes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________She gets dressed up, finds a hat she bought online from a site called–or at least she _thinks ___–it's called «The Ripple Effect», throws it on and leaves the room, grabbing her keys and wallet on the way out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________"Hey guys, so... Where are we going to today?" She says happily, not really noticing just _how tense ___things were in the kitchen. "Wow, what's happening" she asks confused looking at three really serious faces, bodies sitting on the kitchen island, making her body tense right up. _Something's definitely wrong ___she thinks before continuing. "Who died?"  
"No one, Tobs, just..." Lauren hesitates and points to an empty sit in front of all three of them. "Just take a sit, please"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________Tobin is still freaking out but she slowly makes her way to that spot Lauren chose for her. She looks at the least complicated one out of the three, a pleading look on her eyes, knowing the two girls will go around the actual topic for as long as they wish, but Jrue doesn't cave at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________"What's happening?" She asks again. This time, she gest an actual answer.  
"We want to talk to you about something important. All three of us. We all thought important for all parties to be involved but didn't want to ambush you, so it's just gonna be us... For now." Amy says firmly, with the same look on her face she gives the kids when they're making messes and not behaving. A firm look. Tobin is most definitely freaking out now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________________"What did I do?" It's the first thing that pops up in her head. Sadness is clear in her friends' faces after she said that. They all softened their expressions and Lauren, right in front of her across the island, took Tobin's left hand into both of hers and sighed.  
"You didn't do anything... The simple fact that _that ___was your _first thought ___after we said we needed to talk, it's just... It's exactly _why ___we need to talk." Tobin nods but does not get a word yet. She's so confused she can't even form words inside her own head.  
"It's about Alex, Tobin" Jrue is short and rigid with his words. Words that cut Tobin open from the inside out. _No, no, I can't talk about this right now ___she gets back her hand and start rubbing both of them nervously under the table and away from everyone else's gaze. Her palms are already sweaty, but she doesn't want them to think she's still affected by the girl, so she fakely coughs and shrugs, with both eyebrows frowned. "What about her?"  
They all see through her façade.  
"She's here, Tobin. She's here in the US. She's here in California, and so are you. We all are, and we'll find each other at some point. You'll _have ___to face her at some point" Lauren remains quiet while Amy takes full charge. Tobin switches her gaze between both of their faces while she tries to listen, but she feels like her senses could shut down in any minute. "You'll have to face her and all the horrible things she said and did to you, and we're just–quite honestly– _scared ___of what you'll do once you do. Scared you'll fall back into the same old routine. You can't do that, Tobs. Not after everything you accomplished in France" Amy is right, but Tobin can't help but to feel offended, deep down knowing she's just offended because she _is ___right about that. Tobin _could ___do that, considering her record; that could be a real possibility, but that's the _old ___Tobin. _New ___Tobin is emotionally solid, a bit selfish with her personal wellness, and completely centered. To fall back into Alex's old arms is _not ___a possibility to _new ___Tobin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________"I won't, I promise. I've changed" Tobin looks like a damn puppy right now, sad and lonely on the other side of the kitchen top, stranded, and Lauren can't help feeling sorry and empathic.  
"We know you have, Tobs" she looks at the other girl with that motherly gaze she only she can give and nods. "And we trust you, but we don't trust her. We wanted to make sure that–for the sake of the team–you remain cordial with each other, polite, but still distant. Not at all friends. Really Tobs, we can't have her lurking, so we need you to put your foot down with this one, okay?" She goes for Tobin's hand again, but she keeps her safe, resting on her lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________Tobin looks around, picking up on more than one reassuring face before sighing softly and bring both of her hands up and on the kitchen top. The cool of the marmol being a good contrast to her hand's warmth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________"I won't let her break me ever again" she states with proof-based confidence. If she could reject Alex's embedding calls and texts from France, she can reject them from here. Even to get face, she can turn down her moves, or so she _thinks. ___"Not after everything I went through and did back in Paris. I've changed way too much to go back to being the old sad Tobin who spends her days haplessly trying to be enough but, as expected, never quite reaching the goal. I'm done with that. I'm not that girl anymore" and she means it. She does._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________That seams to appease everyone, but not that much, because they all know Alex very well, and if she wants something, she shall have it, one way or another._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________"Alright, guys. Now we've talked this through, it's time to get real. The team is getting together, so you better be prepared for it" Lauren says. "Don't ask how but everyone knows about Laure and they have questions" she gets up and squeezes her shoulder on her way out, to get ready, Tobin assumes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________Jrue and Amy follow her after a few seconds. "So y'all gon' let me out here alone after that bom? How did they found out?" She follows them, turning to her right still sitting on the stool. She had no response. "How did they found out, guys!?" They won't respond._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________________________Jrue and Tobin are hooping outside while Lauren and Amy discuss their talk in the master bedroom._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________"I think we should not rest on this. If we fall asleep on it we'll loose. We have to stay alert"  
"You telling me? Good thing we deleted that text" Amy scolds and bends down to tie her running shoes.  
"Shhhh, she can't know Amy. Not sure how she'd react if she finds out" Lauren keeps applying her makeup. She takes a step back and takes a good look. _I'm good. ___  
"I know. She'll probably say something like _«You don't trust me dude, why would you do that? I'm not a kid anymore, bro» ___" Amy says trying to imitate Tobin's tone. "when we all know she'd reply normally and keep the conversation going. She hasn't changed _that ___much, you know?"  
"Yeah well, we don't know. We have to trust her, but we can't trust Alex. We can't." She turns around to face Amy back inside the room. "I'm ready, you good?" Dropping the conversation for good. She's really good with that.  
"Yeah, I'm good. Let's go"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________When Cheney's done with a conversation, everyone else is too. If they're not, that's not her problem nor her fault, and she won't care, the topic it's dropped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________"Hey guys, we're ready. Sweating much already?" She asks puckering her lips towards her husband. "Honey, we have to pick our girl up from your mom's okay? Remember"  
"Right" he says and gives her a peck on her lips.  
"Yo', I don't wanna see that. Save it for the bedroom y'all" Tobin covers her eyes and goes for the car without uncovering them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________Just before she gets herself really hurt, Amy gets to her and pushes her out of danger. "Wow there, Tobs, careful. Sidewalk"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________They all laugh at her antics and get fast in all three cars. Lauren and Jrue's, Amy's and Tobin's rental car. They all drive together to «Pipe Piper Cub Cafe», where they'll be meeting their teammates who already flew in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________They have camp in four days, so they shouldn't be too many but they wanted to greet Tobin at the airport, so almost everyone is here. That thought makes Tobin smile as she drives, putting on The 1975 on the background. Girls playing loud through her rental SUV speakers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________She sings the music out loud and when a red light commands her to stop the car, she takes the volume up and sings louder. Windows down, music loud and clear road view makes her happy and comfortable. Comfortable enough to jam her heart out without hesitation. She doesn't really notices but they're 3 pretty girls looking at her, and they like what they see._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________The pretty girls laugh and stare a bit more, singing along, making Tobin notice them and laugh with a bit of shame shinning through her impeccable smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________It don't matter, though, because she gets her confidence back and winks at them before hitting the gas pedal, leaving the behind. She's still singing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________________________New Tobin is much cooler than Old Tobin. Heck yeah. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guys! Have a great week!!


	4. Welcome Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot happens in this chapter, really, and there's no real drama. You'll meet a new character as well, she's cool too. I hope you like this one guys, and let me know what you think of the story so far. Predictions, thoughts, comment please.
> 
> GUYS!! I changed some things in this chapter, so you might want to read it again. Sorry for the trouble<3

"Yo', Tobin, what took you so long? Maybe a french little girl, texting you from afar?" Ashlyn her arm around her girlfriend and a smirk on her face.  
"Make that sexting, Ash" Megan as the same smirk.  
"Dude, I'll punch you. Don't try me" she locks the car and walks towards the group in front of the cafe.  
"What are we waiting, again?" The not-so-patient Moe grunts from her place next to Emily and let's her head rest on top of Em's shoulder.   
"For everyone to get here, Moe. Besides, why are you complaining? You got here like three seconds ago" Christen laughs and locks eyes with Tobin.

Tobin is the one to break the stare contest, but just to say hi to everyone individually. Ash, Ali, Moe, Em, Sammy, Ally, Allie, Lindsey, Megan, Meghan, Christen, Amy, Lauren, Jrue and Tobin. A lot of people to greet.

When she gets to Christen, the last girl, she pauses. "Hey you" she smiles.  
"Hey yourself. How are you?" Tobin flashes a genuine smile and scratches the back of her neck.  
"Great, thanks, you?" Christen is quick to respond.  
"No, I mean like... _How ___are you?" She whispers like they're not standing in the middle of a 15 people group.  
 _She thinks you just parted from the girl you're in love with. She doesn't know about Alex, relax ___Tobin cools down.  
"Well, I'm feeling a little guilty, but I'm okay. How about you? Heard you broke it off with Mr. Laser Tag" Tobin touches her arm lightly and puts it back inside her pockets. Christen laughs and her eyes shut for a second.  
"I'm fine. Amazing actually. I never truly loved him, he was just a good-looking distraction" they laugh together, "that until he wasn't in the good side of distraction anymore"  
"I get you, for real" they get uncomfortable all of the sudden.  
"Harry, need to talk to you for a sec" Allie interrupts.  
"Sure thing, Harry. Sorry Chris"  
"No worries" she's blinded by the Cali Girl's white smile.

__When she turns around, Allie grabs her forearm and takes her to the parking lot, away from everyone else. _Oh, I get what this is... Another lecture about Alex ___Tobin rolls her eyes._ _

___They stop and stand face to face, Allie give a guilty and insecure look in her face. She opens and closes her mouth several times before words come out of her lips. "I have a question" Tobin nods. "If I wanted to... hang out... with Alex" she takes her time in between words, she's careful, walking on eggshells. Tobin dislikes that. "Would you be mad at me?" She finally asks the question.  
Tobin laughs and shakes her head, disturbing Allie even more._ _ _

___She's uncomfortable, unease, anxious. _'God, please say no' ___she begs in her mind._ _ _

____"Allie, I know for a fact that you _have ___been hanging out, and I couldn't care less." That seems to help. "If she's not trying to make you stop hanging out with me, I'm not going to do that either. As long as I'm still your super amazing best friend Harry, I don't care who you hang out when I'm not there" she smiles._ _ _ _

_____Allie smiles back and hugs her tightly. She has missed her._ _ _ _ _

_____"I've missed you so much, Harry, that little visit wasn't enough"  
"I know. I missed you too" she says sincerely._ _ _ _ _

_______"I should warn you about something." Allie interrupts the silent walk back after a few seconds, they're almost there. "They're coming"  
Who's coming?  
"Who's coming?"  
"Kelley, Sydney, Alex and Servando. Christen invited them" her eyes are low and sorry._ _ _

_____This is just what I needed. To see them all here, all together. Married. Kelley was _my ___best friend, not hers. Well, in Kelley's defense, she does have a lot of best friends._ _ _ _ _

______Well, is not Tobin's fault that Alex has such a terrible character. It's not._ _ _ _ _ _

______She doesn't really, she just treated _her ___badly, but not anyone else. It's her attitude towards Tobin that sucks._ _ _ _ _ _

_______"Hey, you there? Are you alright?" Allie worries and Tobin snaps back out of her trance.  
"Yeah, I'm cool. Let's go, I don't care"_ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They walk inside and look for the girls. _'I guess they're here already' ___Tobin talks to herself while looking around. _'Wait, she said Christen?' ___  
"Did you said Christen was the one who invited them?" Allie nods slightly. "Why her? Who planned this?"  
"She did" Allie's eyebrows frowned and she stops her with a hand on her chest. "Didn't you know? She was super hyper about you coming back home. She got all of us our plane tickets to come see you" That's so nice. They weren't even that close though. Tobin's expression is matching Allie's in confusion when they hear a shout from the outside of the cafe.  
"Bro! Here!" Dom waves at her.  
Alright, now this might seem like a joke by now, but he's Tobin's best friend. He is her true best friend. He's her brother, her soulmate. Her person._ _ _ _

_________He gets up and runs inside while Tobin runs to get to him faster._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________"Dommy!" She says loving into their close embrace.  
"Toby!" He replies. She's his soulmate too. "I missed you"  
"Me too man, I thought I was gonna see you yesterday. You promised" she says sadly but there's no trace of resentment in her voice. They let go.  
"I know. I was but... Something came up" Oh she knows what came up already. He looks so guilty though.  
"Don't sweat it. I'm cool with seeing you today" she smiles at him and punches his arm jokingly.  
"Let's go sit down so you can meet your little nephew and godson"_ _ _ _ _

_________She gets so excited now, that feeling replacing the confusion from what Allie said and the anxiety from having to face Alex and Servando together right now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________"Cash, this is your godmother Tobin" Syd passes him to her right when the pair walked outside, with Allie following up close.  
"She's what?" Ash asks shocked from her seat, but she's not paying attention. She's just looking intensely into Cassius's eyes, feeling not butterflies but a whole zoo in her stomach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________She loves this kid too much already.  
"He's so big, my God" her eyes are watery and she has a lump in her throat.  
"I know. He's growing up too fast" he's eyes are filled with tears too. Finally, the other girl in his life meets the guy of his life.  
"Hi Cash, I love you" she whispers, kisses his cheek and extends her arms a bit so that Syd can take him back.  
"Thanks for everything bro, I love you"  
"I love you too"  
"I'm getting jealous, Tobin" Jrue interrupts their moment from the other end of the huge table.  
"Oh, don't be. You're my dad" they laugh. Tobin finally allows herself to look up an sees a lot of faces, Alex's or Servando's are not part of the them. She immediately relaxes.  
"Come sit with me" Kelley says and points to an empty seat to her right._ _

___________She follows given instructions and sits just there. "Hey" she's the first to intervene.  
"Hey." She looks guilty too. _'Why is everyone so nervous to be around me?' ___"I missed you." Kelley leans towards her and hugs her strongly. "Sorry I wasn't there yesterday" she murmurs, still hugging her. After a few more seconds, they let go.  
"Don't worry, they'll be more times, I'm sure" she winks but that only seems to make her sadder.  
"That means you're thinking about leaving again? You just got here"_ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She sighs. Maybe.  
"I mean when we play against each other in the NWSL" that's not entirely true, but ain't a complete lie either.  
"Oh, yeah" she smiles and turns to the menu. "What are you ordering? I'm starving"  
They all cat-call and whistle. _What's happening? _____ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________"Oh shut up. I'll kill you" she lets her eyes wonder and find a strange face. She knows everyone here, except the girl next to Kelley.  
"Let them, babe, they're just jealous" the girl leans in and kisses Kelley._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________'Wow, dude' ___  
"Oh, right. Tobin, I want you to meet Bella. She's my girlfriend" the red splash on her cheeks tell Tobin everything she needs to know.  
"Also, Jill's newest adoption" Pinoe ads.  
"Shh" Hao exaggerates, "we must not name her or she'll kick someone else out of the team" they laugh but it still hurts.  
"I'm Tobin Heath. Nice to meet you, Bella" she offers her right hand for her to grab it and takes in her appearance. She's a very beautiful brunette, hazel eyes like Tobin's, killer smile, freckles too. She's like if Tobin and Kelley had a kid, but gorgeous. Looks friendly too. _'Wow, what a weird thought to have about Kelley's girlfriend. What's wrong with you' ___  
"Bella West" she smiles and gives her the handshake. "I know who you are though, you were like my idol growing up"  
"Disclaimer, she's also like 4 years-old and Kelley's Lolita" Whitney adds.  
They all laugh to Kelley's expense just like old times.  
"Of course not! She's 19" Tries her best to look offended, that's for sure.  
"19 days" Moe says.  
"Bro, you're like one year older than me. Let it rest" they laugh a bit more.   
"Let's just eat" Kelley says looking at the menu._

_____________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________This are getting out of control. But, what could she possibly expect from Whitney, Allyssa, Moe, Sammy, Em, Lindsey, Ashlyn, Ali, Amy, Lauren, Jrue, Christen, Bella, Kelley, Megan, Meghan, Hao, Sydney, Dom and Allie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________They're loud and annoying. They're upsetting the other costumers, but she doesn't mind. This is her family._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________"She did what?" Tobin asks while laughing for the umpteenth time.  
"She tried to cover up with a shoe!" Ali keeps telling her story about a past camp where she was Kell's roommate and walked on both of them, Belle and Kell doing the nasty on top of her bed. "She was trying to cover up with _my ___shoe, her naked girlfriend on _my ___bed, after I walked int on them doing it on _my ___fricking bed!" They're laughing now but they fought real hard back then.  
"And she yelled at us for like ten days for it" Belle continues.  
"Couldn't you guys keep it in your pants long enough to get to her bed?! It was next to mine, a few steps away!" They keep giggling when the waiter comes back with the check. She leaves it in the center of the huge table and walks to Tobin's place, leaving a white piece of paper in front of the confused girl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________"What's that?" Amy asks.  
"That would be _«Sasha's» ___number" Allie reads from her spot next to Tobin, passing the paper to Kelley, over Tobin.  
"Oh, you dog!" She shoves her.  
"Shut up. What?" She takes the piece of paper. She immediately reads «Sasha» and «call me» next to 7 digits and a lipstick stain. _Did she kissed this? ___  
"Damn, Tobs, teach me" Megan drinks her coffee and hits Ashlyn's side with her elbow. "How did she do it without saying a word?"  
Ashlyn, who spilled a bit of her drink when she shoved her, looks at her like unimpressed and shakes her head. "Dude, my drink"  
"Whatever, just shut up. Thanks" Tobin's red with embarrassment.  
"Oh, she's red, how cute" Moe points out from her seat, and a few seats away, Tobin clearly hears:  
"Cute indeed" when she turns, is gray eyes she sees, staring right back at her. They smile and giggle together before snapping back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________They spend the rest of the day at a bowling place, playing, jocking, bonding._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tobin has missed them with all of her heart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She replies to another text from Laure and her mom before looking back up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"It's your turn, French girl" Dom shouts.  
She's playing against Dom, Kelley and Bella. Syd left when they got out of the cafe, claiming she was tired and wanted to get Cash back to the hotel.  
"Oh, I'm coming" she gets up and shoots. She gets a strike.  
"Another? Are you a professional or something?" A frustrated Bella grunts and gets up to shoot next._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tobin is starting to like her more and more the more time they spend together.  
"You can do it baby!" Kelley whistles and hits her knees with the palms of her hands for support._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"So, any news from France?" Dom asks once she takes her seat next to him.  
"You know, just keeping tabs on everyone there. Laure is very excited about this field trip they're taking as a team to bond of whatever. They're taking to train to get to Germany. Its supposed to be super fun" she talks about Tobin and Laure's current relationship, where they stand; they also talk about Syd and him and little Cassius before he has to shoot again. In that time, she reads another text from Laure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Laure: I'm go to pack xo_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She changed the contact info._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tobin laughs at Laure's English. _'So cute' _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________T: Sure, have fun! Buy me something from Munich.  
Laure: And I will give it to you how?  
T: Oh, you'll give it to me alright? _________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I'll update maybe by Monday or Tuesday, and I promise Tobin is meeting Talex soon. Have a great weekend y'all ❤


	5. Cough Syrup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember when I told you this was an AU? Well, keep that in mind. Also, this is my story and I don't want to be rude or anything but I already have a good idea of how this is going to end and as much as I would like to please everybody, I can't, so I'll stick to my story instead. Please, do not hate, it's just a fanfic, it's just a bunch of words I wrote to pass time. I'm not that good of a writer either so :/ Have patience and mercy on me ;) This is another chapter for you guys. As always, I love you, have a great day and leave (respectful) thoughts, hopes and predictions on the comments section <3

T: Sure, have fun! Buy me something from Munich.  
Laure: And I will give it to you how?  
T: Oh, you'll give it to me alright? ;)  
Laure: Shut your mouth, bye. Talk to you tomorrow.

"Shit guys, it's getting late and Tobin won already so; why don't we all hit the road and try to get a good night sleep for the big hangout tomorrow morning?" Bella is very comfortable with the team, she speaks with confidence, that tells Tobin she has some sort of leadership within the team.   
"B is right. Let's go guys" Dom agrees.

They all say goodnight and leave, everyone in different directions.

Before that, she gets close to Kelley. They're walking through the parking lot alone.  
"Why did you never mentioned her, Kell? She's awesome" Tobin asks resting her left arm on top of the smaller girl's shoulders.  
"I didn't really know how to bring it up" she looks serious. "You were so excited about everything out there that I didn't want to rain on your parade by talking about a simple but really complicated crush I had on a minor"  
"Wow, I didn't left that long ago"  
"I thought she was a minor" they laugh together and stop walking, standing in front of each other. "And, I wanted to know for sure if this was real, you know? To introduce her to you, as my best friend, that's something bigger than her meeting my parents" Tobin nods and kisses her temple sweetly.  
"I know, I get it. And I love you and missed you like crazy" she hugs her and starts walking again in their former position. "Now lets go, got to take you back to my replacement" Tobin winks.  
"Never. She's another type on winger, I promise"  
"Yeah sure. That's what they all say" they laugh a bit more.

\- - - - -

She's happy when her exhausted body hits the bed. It's 7 o'clock. They spent the whole day together.

Her family. Her soccer family.

She gets up to change into her purple dinosaurs boxers and purple sports bra.

When she gets into bed, she has a text from an unknown number.

Unknown: You looked beautiful today.

Tobin frowns and starts to type, but decided against it.

She doesn't reply to unknown numbers.

She shuts the nightstand light off and goes to sleep. Big day tomorrow, she reminds herself.

\- - - - -

Unknown: Why haven't you replied to any of my texts? I wanna see you.

Tobin wakes up quite early, even for her, by the sound of her ringtone, letting her know she's got another text.

At first, she thought it was Laure, maybe even her family or a teammate, but she was wrong. The unknown author of the messages keeps insisting.

«They must have got the wrong number», Tobin tells herself while she rubs her eyes.

T: Yo', I dunno know who you are and what you want but you got the wrong person. It's like 4 in the morning here and I would like to keep sleeping, goodbye.

When she sends it, she flips sides on the bed and closes her eyes again, ready to surrender herself into sleep for at least a couple more hour before the group workout at 7.

Unknown: Wow, you really deleted my number. Anyways, it's 4:35, actually, time to get up and run, Tobin Powell Heath, or do I got the wrong person?

_«Wow, bro, that's scary» ___

_T: Who are you?  
Unknown: Someone who misses you. Let's meet.  
T: Heck no. I don't know who you are or how you got my number or middle name. If you're a fan, this is scary, this is not the best way to get my attention.  
Unknown: I'm a fan of yours, but I'm not a fan. Please, if I tell you you won't come._

_She feels like she _has ___to go meet this random person, for some dumb reason._

__«They could be a serial killer, you have no ideas who they are» she tries to reason with herself, but that battle was lost. The feeling is still beating inside her chest. «I have to go»_ _

__T: Fine. Meet me in 20 minutes in front of the Wally World coffee shop. If you try to pull a funny move on me, I'll have the cops there in two minutes.  
Unknown: I won't, you know me. Hell, you know me better than everyone else. I'll explain everything once we meet. See you in a few._ _

__She buffs. «This is completely irrational. You're crazy» she shakes her head in disagreement._ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__She got up, got dressed in black running shorts, black US Women's soccer shirt, and Nike running shoes, completing the outfit with a PSG hat, and went to the bathroom to finish getting ready to head out._ _

__After brushing her teeth, her hair, fixing it inside of the hat in a ponytail, and washing her face and hands, she's ready to head out._ _

__«I'll leave a note in case I get killed»_ _

__And she did just that._ _

__After taking a banana from the fruit basket sitting on the kitchen top, she wrote a note on a piece of white paper she found._ _

__«Hey guys, I went out to meet a stranger way too early in the morning. I wanna be buried in Hawaii if they kill me. I'll be back by 6 if everything goes smoothly. I'll be at our favorite running path by the Wally World coffee shop. Love you» it reads._ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__T: I'm here._ _

__«Well, this should be a real treat», she's still fighting herself._ _

__Unknown: I'm here too._ _

__Tobin chose this place not just because this is super close to where she goes out to run, but because this is a 24/7 cafe too. She's not that dumb._ _

__She makes her way inside the place and sits in a booth close to the back door, in case she does know the person and decides to run._ _

__She waits a couple of minutes before she decided to shoot them another text._ _

__T: Did you do this to leave me here alone for hours or did you really wanted to meet?_ _

__Just seconds after she sent the text, the doorbell rang and let her know another costumer had walked in._ _

__«Oh hell. Well, that backdoor will come in handy after all»_ _

__She gets up and starts walking towards the exit, but before she can get to it, a clammy hand grabbing her bicep stops her._ _

__She forgot how fast she really is._ _

__"Please stay" When she turns, she connects her icy stare with begging ocean blue eyes and a rosy nose._ _

__It's pretty cold out there this early in the morning._ _

__«Tobin... No» Too late._ _

__"Fine" they make their way back to Tobin's chosen booth and they both get a coffee mug by a nice waiter called Petra. "Start talking. What am I doing here?"  
"I wanted to apologize personally and try to mend things before we get to camp in a couple of days" Alex looks vulnerable, not like the intimidating person she used to be to Tobin's sored eyes. They both seem to be different.  
"And you think a coffee and a simple apology would make up for all those terrible years? You're insane" Tobin remains defensive but calmed. «Keep your cool, dude»   
"No, I know it won't be enough, but I was kinda hoping to get another chance to prove you I've changed. I won't even try to be your friend anymore if you don't want me too, but I do want you to forgive me, and I'll try my best to deserve it" She sure knows how to charm people._ _

__«I promised Amy, Lauren and Jrue I wouldn't do this»_ _

__She takes a sip of her black coffee and thinks her response carefully. "You've said those words before, never before have they been true. What is different this time?"  
"I am. Tobin I swear, I've changed. Seen you gone changed me, I know better now. I promise this isn't one of my scams, I'm being truthful." Alex has that determined look on her face, like when they're playing and she's focused only on getting a goal. «Maybe she means it, but I won't make it this easy for her»  
"Fine, I accept your apology, but I am not going to let you lie all the way back into my life. You're my teammate, but that's about it. You're married, I'm not, I'm happy now without you, and I hope you're happy too with him, but if you're not, I don't care. You're only my teammate, we'll be cordial, but that doesn't mean I'm giving you another chance to ruin my life, cause I'm not. Just, stay off my case"_ _

__Tobin is ready to leave, if fact, she gets up but a hand on top of hers stops her._ _

__"I'm not married" her eyes finally fall and see her hand. There's no ring there, just  weird tan lines where the ring used to be are left. «She could have taken it out right before coming in»  
"I don't care. I mean every word I said. I don't care about you anymore in any way" she takes her wallet out an places money down to pay for the coffees. " Have a good day, Morgan"_ _

__She looks defeated, and it takes everything Tobin has to not look back. Once she gets inside the car, she lets the breath go and rests her head on the steering wheel. «Why did I came? I could have done that later, with my friends there to support me», she knows she doesn't really regret this. She knows this needed to happen._ _

__When she looks outside through the driver's window, she notices a small figure with their head laying on top of their arms, sitting on the curb, in front of the coffee shop._ _

__«That's Alex» she's dressing sporty too._ _

__Alex is sitting on the curb, crying. «Oh, god, what did I do? How did I hurt her this bad? Why did it had to come to this?» she shakes her head and wipes some tears away, gets up and starts walking to her car to leave her things there and take a necessary run. She needs to think. Little did she knew, Tobin had planned to do the same and was already on it._ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__They met once more on top of the trail._ _

__This time, no one talked. They wanted space, so they stayed out of each other's ways._ _

__Tobin stayed for a couple of minutes, Christian music blasting through her headphones, looking over the city, but when the tension became too much to handle, she started to walk away._ _

__She was stopped once again by a grab on her bicep. She takes a look at the person grabbing her, but she already knew who it was._ _

__Alex looks pleading again. Begging, that's something she wasn't used to do, but she'll do anything to get Tobin to give her another chance._ _

__"Take your headphones off please" she asks, and Tobin, of course, did just that. "Please, let me prove you wrong. Let me show you that I've changed. That I deserve another chance to be in your life" Tobin was listening, but her face remained intact, expressionless. "I know I screwed up big time last time. I know you didn't deserved that, neither did Servando" to hear his name come out of her lips made Tobin cringe still. "I know, I recognize how wrong I was to all of you, even to myself. I was killing myself in the process, you know? I forgot who I was and what made me human, but I found it, I found myself again. I'm me, I'm the old Alex, the true Alex. The Alex you met at a party when we were 18. Believe me, Tobs, I'm worthy now. I'm worth it. I'm worth the shot" that was her last attempt, she tried to convince herself, but she knows she'll do it for as long as it takes, until Tobin caves in. «Please say yes»_ _

__"We'll meet, once a week to talk. Call it a AA meeting; a formal talk, take it seriously. You'll come meet me at the coffee shop and talk about how exactly did you change until I leave for Portland or you finish your story. I'll give you that time, and if in that time I'm not convinced that you're different from the selfish, cancerous person you were last year, I'll walk, and you'll never try to contact me again. Deal?" Alex was hesitating. Should she really take that deal? That doesn't seem like the best idea, she knows that, when she wants, Tobin can stand her ground for centuries, and won't move. She's persistent, but Tobin is way too rigid sometimes. What if she doesn't manage to show her? "Text me your answer. I'm gonna go" she pulls her arm out of Alex's grip and walks away, plugging her headphone back in while walking. Cough Syrup started playing. She runs like never before._ _

__When she's far enough from the other girl, she suddenly stops. She screams and looks to the sky._ _

__"Why did you sent her my way!" She recriminates God.  
«To test me.» that's the answer she could come up with._ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__Tobin looks at the clock when she parks in Lauren's driveway. «6 o'clock. Always so punctual, points for Gryffindor»_ _

__"Where the hell have you been idiot! You're half an hour late! You never replied to our texts or calls! I'm gonna kill you" she hears the moment she walks inside the house._ _

__«Oops, maybe I was not so punctual after all» "Sorry, my phone said 6 o'clock. I was jogging. Lost track of time" she got a hung from Lauren, but then a punch. "Ouch bro, that hurt"  
"Good, I meant it. Come on" she goes to sit in her couch. Amy walks to her and does the same thing. "Seriously, stop! Ouch!"  
"Shut up. We were worried. Who did you meet?" She ask from her spot next to Lauren. Tobin moves to sit in front of them, on the coffee table.  
"I went to meet..." She stopped. «Do I really want to tell them about the whole thing? Alex won't probably say she's in so... Why bother? Right?» "I went to meet an unknown number to show them I wasn't who they thought I was, but they never showed up" «Why am I lying? For Alex, by the way. It's last year all over again»   
"Oh, well. Don't do it again" she gets pushed back by Lauren.  
"Stop hitting me" she gets up and looks down at her fellow New Kids. "I'll go clean up to our hangout" she warns and leaves the other girls._ _

__Once Tobin is out of view, Amy turns to face Lauren. "Do you think Alex tried to get to her again?"  
"Sh, don't talk about that here" she gets up and looks around to see she's nowhere in sight. "That text never happened, remember? And I don't think she would do that, not really. I mean, maybe at camp, but you know she doesn't put enough effort into things like this and she already texted once"  
"True. But I have a weird feeling about that supposed setup. I can't help but think it was Alex meeting with her"  
"Maybe, but we have no way of knowing for sure... We just have to trust Tobin is telling us the truth. Let's go" she nods towards the hall. "Let's go get ready"_ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__Tobin let's out a breathy sigh while she takes out her shirt and hat. She needs to breathe._ _

__She walks to the small bathroom and slides down the door once she closes it, letting her heavy head fall back._ _

__«I should have said no and that's it. I don't want to make anyone mad at me» it wasn't her relationship with Alex that made her nervous, it was the reactions of her best friends once they find out about the deal she made with the «enemy»_ _

__She's going to take a shower._ _

__She strips off and gets inside the shower. She takes her phone out and puts on Cherry Wine by Hozier before letting the water run, but not before seeing the response in the notification bar._ _

__Unknown: I'm in._ _

__Tobin sighs again. «What did I do?»_ _

__\- - - - -_ _

__She gets inside her car and rolls down the windows, ready for their departure._ _

__"Hey, Chris asked if she could get a ride" Amy smiles when she gives Tobin her next mission.  
"Oh, great. I'll be there in a few, you go ahead and get to the stadium without me"_ _

__Amy's grin grows bigger and pats Tobin in the head before turning to get to her car. Amy's husband is there, waiting for her. It's a couples thing apparently._ _

__"Wait!" Tobin shouts. "I don't know her address!"  
"Text her, idiot!" «That was helpful»,_ _

__She chooses Ophelia by the Lumineers to be the first song of her ride's soundtrack before turning the engine on and leaving. She commands the car to call «Pressy» and the music pauses._ _

__"Hey Pressy! I'm your knit today, I'll be picking you up but I don't know where you live" Press laughs from the other line and Tobin can picture the big smile plastered on her face.  
"I'm staying with my parents here. You know where that is" she blushed. Oh did she knew.   
"Thanks, I'm on my way" she hangs up and drives, Ophelia starts playing again._ _

__She sings out loud, she doesn't have a care in the world, she's going to be happy._ _

__When she drives, the world stays behind her, the road ahead and the loud music is all she cares about. She does not need to worry, everything is small in comparison when seen through the driver's window, everything passing by so fast, so easily. She does not need to worry about anything, she's okay._ _

__She gets to Christen's parent's house before she knows it and uses the car to her know she's there already. After two «beeps» she's out, beautiful as always, punctual and smiley._ _

__"Hey you" Tobin greets her like she usually does.  
"Hey yourself" Christen replies like she usually does._ _

__She gets inside the car and gives the Jersey girl a peck on the cheek._ _

__"Thanks for picking me up"  
"You're very welcome. Besides, I'm not from around here, so you being here assures me I won't turn in the wrong place and end up lost somewhere in California" she likes to joke around with her a lot, Christen likes it very much too.  
"Oh, right, Jersey girl. I'll do my best to keep your eyes on the road and your car on the right path" she turns the volume up when she recognizes the song playing. "Oh God this song!"  
"You like it?" Tobin is already driving, but she alternates her stare between the road and grey eyes.  
"Are you kidding me? I love it!"_ _

__She starts to sing along to Travis's Love Will Come Through._ _

__"So look up, take it away don't look down the mountain!" Tobin laughs and joins in.  
"Take me, don't leave me!" they lock eyes and the mood shifts. "Baby, love will come through, it's just waiting for you!"_ _

__Tobin shakes her head to focus and pours her attention back at the road ahead, not without singing along with Christen, who's now completely shouting the song while looking through Tobin's music to find other songs to sing along._ _

__The ride was considerably long. They had a blast though. They even sang/shout The Boys Are Back, High School Musical 3, when they reached a red light—Tobin obviously airdrummed too. Choreography integrated._ _

__"We're here!" Christen squints excitedly and practically jumps out of the car before Tobin can take it to a full stop.  
"Wow, there, Pressy. Is my driving that bad?" The follows.  
"Maybe" they keep joking until reaching the crew._ _

__"What's up guys" Ashlyn greets and takes a sip of her coffee.  
Ali, standing next to her girlfriend, follows her lead and says hi too._ _

__So far, from what Tobin can see, Ali, Ashlyn, Lauren, Jrue, Allie, Bati, Amy, Christen and her were the only ones there. «Why so many couples?»_ _

__"Stop with the frowny face, bro" when she turns, she recognizes him.  
"Dom! My man!" She jumps on him and he catches her.  
"Why were you so grumpy?" He asks putting her down after a few seconds.  
"Too many couples dude. You're not helping with that at all-. Hey, you precious!" She grabs Cash from his stroller. "You look absolutely adorable and handsome"  
"Don't call him adorable, he's a men. You call him astonishing, but never adorable"  
"Shut up, Dom, he's adorable. Hi Syd!" She says hi and looks around. Alex is here, and she's not alone._ _

__«Who are you?»_ _

__"Hi you godmother" she hugs Tobin strongly once she gave Dom his baby back. "We didn't get to hug properly yesterday"  
"I know, I'm sorry" Tobin hugs back and when she lets go, she lets her hand go through her hair.  
"Hi Tobin" she looks to the voice who called her name.  
"Hi Jeni" she sees Alex's big sister and goes for a hug.  
"Oh" she seems surprised to get a hug from the taller girl. "I didn't thought I would get one of these anymore" she says with a sad smile.  
"Are you kidding me? When I was 17 you made me promise I would give you as many hugs as you wish, remember?"   
"Oh God that feels like so long ago! But I do" she hugs her again.  
"Well, I stand by my word, by my promise. I'll give you as many as you wish"   
"Have you met this one?" She points to Bella.  
"Tobin!" She salutes friendly.  
"Replacement! So nice to see you again! You have a huge hickey on your neck bro" she hugs her too.  
"Oh so you have met each other. She's our adoptive sister"  
"Oh really?" Tobin's eyebrow shoot up.  
"Yeah, we were trying to find someone more competitive than Alex and we came across with this one" Jeni shuffles Bella's hair lovingly and smiles at Tobin._ _

__Tobin turns, Alex is still next to someone she doesn't recognizes and has yet to say a word to her. Maybe it's out of respect, maybe is out of fear to cause a scene._ _

__"Hi, and you are?" Tobin offers her hand out for her to shake.  
"Are we really not gonna talk about the gigantic hickey this one has on her neck? Is Kelley a fuck- Ouch!" Ash got a slap on the back of the head by Ali.  
"Ashlyn Michelle Harris! Mouth"  
"A fricking vampire" she finishes her thought, her voice low like a kid's after gettung grounded. That's exactly like happened, in a way._ _

__The girl is yet to respond._ _

__"I'm Penny, I'm here with the Morgan's" she smiles.  
"Tobin" Tobin gets her hand back once _Penny ___was done shaking it.  
"Oh, nice to meet you"  
"Sure, same thing. Cheers, Kelley" Tobin shifts her attention to someone else, that someone else being her long-term friend standing next to Alex with a matching hickey, the exact same size as her girlfriend. Of course, she'll try to get the attention anywhere and to anyone who's not here or Bella.  
"You dog!! Have you called _Sarah ___?" she wiggles her eyebrows up and down in a jokingly matter.  
"No, Kelley, I haven't, shut up" Tobin rolls her eyes but they land on a very grumpy Alex. She has her eyebrows frowned and her jaw clenched._ _

____Alex coughed fakely and relaxed a little._ _ _ _

____"Hey guys. Hi Tobin" She's looking right to her eyes. «That was a good first public contact, Alex, it was good. It was cordial. All good»_ _ _ _

____Tobin nods slightly and takes her place next to Christen._ _ _ _

____"Are you okay? You're super stiff" Christen whispered into Tobin's left ear. The warm air pushed goosebumps down to Tobin's arms.  
"Don't do that please" Tobin shook. Christen broke down into a loud laugh and whispered again.  
"Did you just got goosebumps? That's so cute!"  
"Shh" Christen literally laughed enough to tear up. "Dude, I'm serious" Tobin keeps whispering and Christen keeps laughing. "I have a problem with that! I can't have people whispering to me, I can't. My ears are sensible" that only seems to make Christen laugh even more, if that's even possible._ _ _ _

____Alex saw that interaction. She walks to them, and then by them, passing by. Not before locking stares with Tobin._ _ _ _

____«I miss you. I don't want you to be with someone else. Please, please don't be interested in Christen» Alex maintains an imaginary talk with whom she considers the love of her life. She keeps wandering to the pitch, her plan to get Tobin back is the only thought running through her mind._ _ _ _

____"I assume we must follow?" Penny asks from her spot._ _ _ _

____\- - - - -_ _ _ _

____They're putting on their cleats and gear to train together, just for fun, but something tells Tobin she'll have to be careful about this fun activity. It might end up un tragedy._ _ _ _

____"Dude, your parents have been keeping a huge secret from you!" Ash half whispers, half shouts.  
"What do you mean?" Tobin tilts her head to the side in confusion trying to get out of the Nike tight leggings she decided to wear over her training shorts. «What a poorly made decision, Tobin» she shakes her head to herself.  
"Haven't you seen that girl? For real? She's like your tween sister!" Tobin tells her to keep her volume down but it's too late, Bella caught up.  
"Seriously, man. I wasn't going to agree with that mess" she points to Ashlyn, and gets the middle finger in response, "and comment on it but... You're really the same person. She has even the same tan... It's scary" Bella's eyes look like their about to pop out.  
"Who is she anyway?" Ash asks way too loud again, and Tobin thanks God they are on the other side of the field. Alex and her. Talking.  
"Oh, I think she's Alex's friend or something. Maybe a date. I think I heard her talking about the «love of her life» to her mom the other day, I think. Maybe I heard wrong" Megan even threw the air quotes with it and everything._ _ _ _

____That simple answer broke Tobin in half._ _ _ _

____«So it wasn't because I'm girl. It was just me» Tobin feels like crying now, and she does not want or need to cry in front of her friends and some stranger that seems to be Alex's love of her life._ _ _ _

____She shakes those thoughts out of her head erratically and stands up._ _ _ _

____"Hmm, I think I left something in the car. I'll be right back" she tried to cover up, but she knows more than one pair of empathic eyes know what's really happening._ _ _ _

____She stormed out but didn't realized Christen was following her, with Lauren and Kelley in her tail._ _ _ _

____She gets in the car and turns the stereo on. Nothing in this world by Hayden Panettiere starts playing and she laughs dryly. «Of course that's the song that plays right now» She let's it play because she's masochist, maybe, or maybe because she loves this song. She hasn't reached a conclusion yet._ _ _ _

____A knock on the window and then the passenger seat door opening and shutting interrupted her mental debate._ _ _ _

____She thought it would be someone else._ _ _ _

____"Chris" She looks straight into her eyes.  
"Hi" she matches Tobin's low voice.  
"What are you doing here?" She says again with voice not louder than a whisper.  
"Ouch"  
"That's not what I meant. I-"  
"Don't worry" Christen smiles at her and raises a hand to stop her from rambling incoherent things. "I know for a fact you left absolutely nothing in the car because I rode here with you and you barely brought anything to begin with, so I knew that was a lie and came to check on you" she smiles reassuringly and grabs Tobin's right hand. She's sweating, and Tobin feels embarrassed now.  
"I'm sweating"  
"I don't care" well, if she doesn't care–and being in need of some sort of comfort–she won't be the one to break the touch._ _ _ _

____They stay exactly like that. Tobin staring blankly at the distance, the space in front of her, and Christen looking at her. Three other depressing songs played in the background before she decides she's had enough. She breaks the touch and turns the stereo off._ _ _ _

____"I-"  
"You wanna tell me what has you like that?" Tobin's used to been cut like that, she has siblings and is best friends with girls like Allie, Kelley and Ash, for God's sake, but she has never been cut off by the girl siting next to her with affectionate eyes. «They're blue, how are her eyes blue now?»  
"I shouldn't" Tobin shakes her head and breaks the stare.  
"You could, and should" she looks again. Her eyes are saying she can trust her, and she wants to let go. «Maybe if I tell her I'll feel better»  
"It was something Megan said, about..."  
"It was the love of the life thing? Was that it?" she shrugs, she feels so stupid right now. She's looking down, tapping her fingers. "Do you consider Laure the love of your li-"_ _ _ _

____That makes Tobin's head shoot up so fast, something cracks. "Ouch, no. No. Absolutely not" she says with such finality, Christen is the one looking down now, eyebrows frowned. When she looks up, cofusion is the only thing recognizable in her face.  
"Then why would that affect you?" That's a really good question. That's the million dollar question actually. «If you have moved on, Tobin, why would that affect you» she has asked herself too.  
"I don't know" lie. "It just did. I feel like i haven't found mine yet" she sighs, maybe she should be honest. "Or maybe I have" she looks up to Chris's blue eyes again.  
"Maybe, but that's not something to worry about. Everything will fall into place when it has too" she assures the girl. «Oh, God, I hope not. Honestly. She might be the love of my life, but I don't think I can get through everything again. I won't» "God's timing is perfect and flawless, right?" She smiles wider._ _ _ _

____Tobin laughs a bit and feels instantly better. She knows the other girl is not that religious but she knows Tobin is, so she's trying._ _ _ _

____«That's cute» "Thanks"  
"You're welcome. Now" she pats Tobin in the knee, "I'll let Laure and Kelley do a better job cheering you up" she opens the door and gets out. "Bye"_ _ _ _

____And with a wink, she's gone. After a few seconds, she got out too, noticing the previously mentioned girls were in fact waiting for her at a appropriate distance._ _ _ _

____"I'm okay" she states when she passes the girls by._ _ _ _

____\- - - - -_ _ _ _

____"Bro you were on actual fire today!" Dom punches her in her arm and she grabs the sored spot.  
"That's gonna leave a mark, thank you very much"  
"You're welcome" he says and Tobin rolls her eyes. "So," he continues, "when are we going to the Cabaret" he does some sort of dance-thingy or something.  
"Oh, I'm in" Ashlyn joins his... Dancing?  
"Grow up you guys. You" points to the man, "have a baby and a wife. And you" points to the taller girl. "Have a very awesome girlfriend who hasn't realized she could do thoroughly better than you. Enjoy that and try to not screw it up"   
"Ey" both look insulted and cross their arms in sync.  
"I agree with Tobin" Ali jumps into the conversation. "I don't like you going to a strip club with Tobin and Dom, and you know what happens when you do things I don't like, right honey?" Ali asks innocently.  
"Cabaret is a bar" Ashlyn and Dom corrected._ _ _ _

____Kelley does whipping sounds from the back before Bella catches up.  
"Oh, shush it O'Hara. Or do I have to remind you the bachelorette party incident?" Bella warns.  
"No baby, you don't" Kelley kisses her temple. Bella is 5'8 inches, or maybe 5'9 but the point is, she's taller than Kelley, so she has to get on the tip of her toes to reach there. That makes Tobin and Dom crack up._ _ _ _

____"Did you see that?!" Tobin asks in-between shaky breaths.  
"Yes!" Dom answers and they both keep laughing.  
"You guys are dicks" they laugh harder, Ashlyn, Ali, Bella and the rest of the present joining them._ _ _ _

____"Now, but, seriously. You played amazing Tobin" Syd compliments while walking. Alex watches their interactions from behind, in silence.  
"Thank you, I guess that little trip to Paris did worked for me" she smiles at Syd.   
"That and getting you some french ass, whoo hoo!" Kelley adds, not noticing the tense girl walking behind her. Dom, Ash, Bella, Moe and Bati do the same noise in support.   
"Yeah, Tobs, get 'em" Bati whistles.  
"Oh, shut up" they laugh, but Alex is boiling now. She can't stand the thought of someone else touching Tobin. Can't stand someone else's hands traveling down the body she knows so well. Can't stand the thought of fingers tracing patters and traveling through paths of tanned skin she got to kiss. She can't stand someone else's lips on hers, someone else's hands inside her. She can't stand the thought of Tobin being with someone who's not her. But I guess she has to._ _ _ _

____"I wanna go get some ice cream. Don't you guys?" Alex finally intervenes, looking to change the subject.  
"Yeah, I could go get some ice cream" Christen accepts. «Well, that means I have to go too. I mean, I could leave her to catch a ride with someone else, but that's rude and I was raised a lady»  
"I guess I'll go too" Tobin's looking right to Christen's eyes, ignoring the weight Alex's eyes put on her._ _ _ _

____They all agreed.  
"What ice cream place are we going to?" Penny asks. Alex had forgotten about Penny.   
"Oh, I don't know. Denny's?" Alex answers and looks around for complains. She sees none.  
"Sure, that's fine" Ali approves and they all get inside their cars._ _ _ _

____Tobin under the careful stare of blue eyes. Christen gets inside the passenger seat. Jeni shouts and Tobin rolls Christen's window down for Jeni._ _ _ _

____"What's up Jenni?" She's out of breath. «Poor Jeni» Tobin laughs.  
"Do you guys mind..." breath "if Alex and Penny" breath "catch a ride with you?" breath. "I have go leave now" «Terrific, simply terrific», Tobin thinks.  
"Yeah, no problem. We'll miss you at Denny's though" Jeni turns around and yells Alex to get her butt here fast.  
"Aw, I'll miss you too, but I have go check on my own personal Denny. I'll let you guys know if he hasn't burned down the house in my absence. Bye thanks, love you!" She shouts halfway to her car._ _ _ _

____Alex and Penny get inside Tobin's car and Christen is the one who turns around with a cordial smile.  
"Seatbelts on, ladies" she turns back and goes to play her part of DDJ of the car. Designed DJ._ _ _ _

____She plays a couple of great songs and in a heartbeat, they're in front of the place. They all get out and meet the rest of the group._ _ _ _

____«That wasn't so bad» Alex and Tobin think at the same time._ _ _ _

____\- - - - -_ _ _ _

____Laure: I have a surprise._ _ _ _

____Tobin gets a text in the middle of eating her banana chip ice cream cone._ _ _ _

____T: Shoot  
Laure: You'll know by this time tomorrow._ _ _ _

____Tobin frowns.  
T: Why not tell me know?_ _ _ _

____And she can almost hear and see Laure's smirk from here when she reads:_ _ _ _

____Laure: Now where's the fun in that?_ _ _ _

____She can't help but to smile too._ _ _ _

____"Ooh, someone's overseas hookup is texting her!" Pinoe taunts.  
"Oh yeah, Tobin, fuck me in french Tobin" Ashlyn stands on top of their table outside Denny's and does weird sexual sounds. Pinoe does the same from her place. Kelley and Dom join in.  
"Harris, get your ass down now before you fall!" Ali yells at her.  
"Alright, I'm coming" she falls.  
"Told ya" Everyone laughs and they go back to their previous conversation about the Allie's wedding–discussing about who's gonna be what in the ceremony. Kelley called dips on the minister.  
"Kelley, you can't be the minister" Alli assured her.  
"Why not? I mean I would look totally hot getting you two married and saying « _You may now kiss the bride ___»" they all laugh, but Alex has not yet changed topics._ _ _ _

_____She's still thinking about the french girl who took her spot. She's looking intensely at Tobin while she eats her ice cream, which drips a little into her shorts and causes the Cali Girl to break into a grin._ _ _ _ _

_____«I missed her. It's nice to know not everything has changed» she thinks, but her mind goes radio silent once Tobin catches her stare._ _ _ _ _

_____She looks expressionless once again, making Alex uncomfortable, but she won't back down. They both hold their stare until Penny jumps in and asks Tobin a question._ _ _ _ _

_____"So, are you like... Gay?" Everyone turns their heads to the girl siting next to Alex.  
"Yes, I am" Tobin answers carefully.  
"And are you single?" «Do not go there, Penny, I'll cut you» Alex's angry eyes try to cut her cousin in half without success. «She'll try to make her move»_ _ _ _ _

_____Tobin shifts in her seat uncomfortably before answering. "Uhm, yes, yes I am."  
"Oh, great" Penny gives her a flirty look. «I swear to God, Penny, I'll-»  
"Alex, who's Penny, exactly"  
She's caught off guard by Bella's question._ _ _ _ _

_____She even hesitates a bit. "Eh, she's my cousin"  
Tobin freaks out now. «She's her cousin and they're dating? That's so sick! Alex couldn't do that, or could she?» "Tobs, are you okay?" Amy whispers into her ear.   
"Yeah, I am" but she's still confused._ _ _ _ _

_____\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _

_____After dropping everyone into their homes, Tobin got to Lauren's._ _ _ _ _

_____She's ready to hit the bed and rest._ _ _ _ _

_____When she takes a look on her phone she sees she's now part of a group chat baptized «Big Gone Out Tomorrow!», with the rest of the girls from the team and a few others like Penny (who insisted on giving Tobin her number before getting out of the car once they got to the Morgan's Household) and _Radiation ___._ _ _ _ _

______Lauren, who's looking at Tobin's phone from her seat next to the girl on her couch, reads it and asks.  
"Who's «Radiation»?" Tobin looks up and debates if she should say it. She decides to do it.  
"That would be Alex" she answers. She knows Lauren wants an explanation so she decides to continue on her own. "She's radiation because long exposures to her can be hazardous to your health" she knows that sounds salty and a bit stupid and exaggerated, but that's the best contact name she could come up with.  
"Oh Tobs, you're crazy" Lauren laughs hysterically._ _ _ _ _ _

______\- - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _

______When she gets up in the morning, Tobin is excited about today. She texted Laure letting her know she was awake and alert, waiting for her to tell her the surprise, but getting no response back._ _ _ _ _ _

______«That's weird. She always answers almost immediately»_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tobin let's it go, though, focusing on getting ready. It's 2 p.m, the latest she has woken up in years. In her defense, she had nothing to do in the morning and had a lot of lost sleep to catch up on._ _ _ _ _ _

______She showers, gets dressed, brushes her teeth and leaves the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Good morning everyone!"  
"It's 2 p.m" Jrue adds from the couch.  
"Hey Tobs, you have a surprise visitor! They're meeting us at the bar in 5 hours, so you better start getting ready. We'll do just that actually" Lauren walks past her.  
Jrue stops in his way to his room too. "We thought you were dead" and he keeps walking._ _ _ _ _ _

______«Oh, damn», Tobin laughs and goes straight to the kitchen.  
«Wait, a surprise visitor?»_ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think ;)
> 
> I'll have another one up maybe by Tuesday :) 
> 
> Oh, and btw, I write from my phone so that leaves a lot of room for error. Thank you for ignoring them though<3


	6. No Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not my best chapter but I wanted to post something. These will probably get shorter too, but I'll post more often so. Well, anyways, have fun and leave (respectful) comments!

"Are you ready, Tobs?" She hears from the outside of her door.

Her head snapped up. «Oh, Jesus»   
"Hmm, yeah. Sure, yeah" she has that raspy I-just-woke-up voice.

"Tobin Powell Heath! You fell asleep? Really?" She can hear Lauren's disappointment in her voice.  
"No, no. I'm up, I'm almost ready" Tobin's running around trying to get the leggings out of her legs but her cleats don't cooperate. She falls on her ass and the loud bang tells Lauren everything she needs to know.  
"I can hear you panicking from here, you know? Argh, just be ready fast please. You have half an hour"  
"You got it!" Tobin finally gets her pants off and goes to the bathroom.

She puts on music and strips for a quick shower. Melanie Martinez's Toxic starts playing and Tobin let's hot water hitting her skin push her into a trance. She's lost in her thoughts when she gets a flashback.

*

«Alex, please stop taking off your clothes that slowly»

"Tobin, are you okay?" Alex asks in a flirtatious matter. She knows the game they're playing.  
"Me... I... Yeah. Absolutely" Tobin let's her eyes wonder down the girl's tight body. She finds herself getting more and more lost as her eyes travel up to Alex's lustful eyes.  
"Couldn't be better?" Alex asks, but implying something different.  
"Impossible" and with that, after a few sexually tense seconds, they jumped on their bones. "Wait. What's happening?" Tobin's the one who broke the steamy kiss to ask the obvious question.  
"What do you mean?" Alex can't stop her hands to wonder down the tanned girl's body. When she feels Tobin's smooth skin under her shirt, she lost all conscience.

Alex started a new kiss, a hotter kiss, a bolder kiss, a more aggressive kiss. She didn't care about anything outside that room, outside their little bubble, but Tobin did.

"Alex, you just saw your boyfriend, you shouldn't be doing this with me." That stops Alex on the spot. «I can't believe she said that» she thinks.  
"Look, Tobin" she's mad, upset, but more with herself than with Tobin, and both know it. "this night could end up going two very different ways" she stands straighter and suddenly feels self-conscious about her exposed abdomen–she got rid of the shirt in hopes of breaking Tobin's composure. "either you take the chance of having fun with me tonight and probably tomorrow morning" Her eyes are lustful but her voice is cold. "Or you could ruin this completely and send us to bed lone and horny. You choose" There's finality in her eyes and words, Tobin is the scared gazelle waiting for her strong and hungry depredator to attack. She's a deer on headlights.

«Fuck it, he can have her later» Tobin decides.

Happy with her decision, Tobin grabs Alex firmly by her hips and throws her to her bed. She takes a look at her. «With a body like that I'll burn to the ground any second now»

Tobin will be the one in control. Tobin will do and say what she please. Tobin will take Alex, without giving anything a second thought.

*

"Tobin! Fifteen minutes 'til departure!" Lauren's voice brought her back to reality and she now wishes she'd have taken a cold shower instead.

"Yeah, coming!" She wraps up her shower and pushes all thoughts about Alex's and hers «relationship» far, far back in her mind.

She goes back to the room with a towel wrapped around her body, looking for an outfit to wear. She quickly finds something she could wear to the bar and puts on her nice underwear—a semi-nice bra and her nicest tight boxers.

«This will do», she says while putting a simple loose-fitting black shirt and white skinny jeans. Goes to find her black motorcycle boots and she's done. She feels ready. She takes her leather jacket out too, «this looks nice too» and finishes her look with a long necklace, her cross she keeps on at all times, some rings and two simple earrings.

"Alright, time's up!" Lauren opens the door to find a perfectly dressed Tobin. She's showered, dressed, and composed. "Oh, good job Tobs, you look hot"  
"Thanks Chen, but you have a husband and I like Jrue so, like, this can't happen" she moves her finger from her to Lauren signaling them. Lauren rolls her eyes and takes a step into the room to grab Tobin by her jacket and pull her out of the room.  
"Let's go, comedian"  
"Wait, my phone and wallet" when she goes to grab her phone, she still has no answer, Laure hasn't replied.

That makes her feel unease but decides to keep it quiet until getting inside the car. They decide to ride Tobin's car so if she has too much to drink, Lauren can drive them both home. Jrue stays behind with their favorite girl.

"Isn't it funny how you're the godmother of not one but two different kids?" Lauren randomly throws that into the conversation.   
Tobin laughs and looks carefully at the dark road. "I haven't thought about it, but I guess so. I meet our little princess and Skyped with her and all, but I didn't met Cash until yesterday so it feels different with him"  
"I know what you mean, that's how I felt meeting Jrue's sister's son and Amy's. Amy is like my sister, you know, and I've known her since forever and loved her for that long and her having a kid was a defining moment for me"  
"I don't love Cash more than her, Chen. I'll even dare to say that if I loved someone more it would be our little princess" Tobin is honest about her feelings for the two kids. She loves them both equally, but feels different with both, it's a different kind of love.

"I know" the light conversation has now turned deep, somehow. She feels comfortable, though, so she takes it as a cue to express her concern about the french girl.  
"So" she starts, "I'm a bit worried about Laure"  
"How so?" Lauren frowns.  
"She has not responded since last night and she always texts right away" Lauren breaks into a loud laugh and turns her upper body to be partially facing Tobin. "Why are you laughing?" «She's so clueless sometimes» Lauren says to herself.  
"You're acting like a teen, Tobito. Maybe she's busy" she knows something Tobin doesn't, but she'll keep it to herself for now. She winks at the confused Jersey girl and goes back to her former position—singing along to a Backstreet Boys song.

«The surprise waiting for you, Tobs» she thinks.

\- - - - -

"Pull up here" Lauren points to a empty spot on the Bar's parking lot.  
"Oh, it's that one free? I thought Wonder Woman parked her jet here" Tobin says with sarcasm.  
Lauren rolls her eyes at the girl. "Even when making fun, you're still super lame and geeky. Just pull up already!"

Lauren is so excited about this hangout. She hasn't gone out in a long time and especially, not with the girl next to her, driving the car.

"Alright, the car has been parked, Chen, you can live now" Lauren kisses her cheek much other surprise. "What was that for?" They're not joking around anymore, they're happily and honestly smiling to each other. They love each other.  
"I just love you"  
"I love you too, Chen"

They stay like that for a few more seconds, looking at each other's eyes telling with their own just how much they appreciate each other.

"We should get inside now! I'm so excited!" Lauren practically jumps out of the car.  
"Easy there, Chen, I'm coming" Tobin tries to follow, but a text stops her.

Radiation: Hi Tobs, I'm going to the bar today, hope to see you there.

Tobin grunts and decides what to reply.

T: It's actually Tobin. I'm here already, don't make a scene.

That sounds about right, right? Tobin decides to do it and sends it. She stores the phone and tries to catch up with a energetic Lauren.

Once inside, the loud music and the very full room lets her know the night is about to really begin. She takes hold of Lauren's hand and pulls her back a bit to whisper something into her ear.

"Bro, don't let me alone at all, please. Promise me that" Tobin is nervous, she doesn't want to be, but she is. She's excited, sure, but she's more nervous about going out with the team, Alex included, than to be able to show her awesome Latin dancing skills.  
"I won't if you don't want me to, but I have the feeling you'll beg me to once we get to the booth" Lauren winks and frees herself.

Tobin's rigid, nailed to the ground watching Lauren walk away.

«What was that?» Tobin walks to the back of the bar, trying to spot the girls, having no luck.

"Can we dance?" A pair of hands take ahold of her hand and pulls her back. The music is loud—loud enough to drown every voice in the room—but she'd recognize that accent anywhere, any time.  
"Laure?" When she turns around, she sees blue eyes and big smiles. She's right, she's here, she's inside this bar with her, she's holding her hand, and she's looking stunning in that tight black dress.

Tobin doesn't wait for a reply, but instead, she goes for a kiss. She has in fact missed the girl more than she thought she would.

Laure moans once she feels Tobin's smooth lips against hers. Her stomach is full with butterflies and she has goosebumps all over her body. «Je t'aime, Tobs» she won't say it out loud, though.

When oxygen becomes a problem, they break the kiss, looking into each other's eyes and hugging tightly. Lauren winks at the french girl from her seat—she's sitting at the team's booth, in front of the two girls kissing and hugging.

"Lauren is... How do you say it? Winking at us?" Laure speaks out after parting from the girl's embrace.   
"What do you mean?" She looks to where Laure points and finally sees them. They're in front of her. «Bro, you need to get your eyes checked» Tobin reminds herself.  
"We better get back" Laure starts, but Tobin cuts her off.  
"Heck no, you're not going anywhere" she kisses her again. "You're staying right here with me, and you'll tell me how are you here with me, until you do, we're not going anywhere" Tobin kisses her again. «The closeness feels good»  
"Oui, ma belle" Laure is the one to initiate a kiss this time. "I got a text from your friend saying you missed me, the I should come visit any time I wanted and all nice things like that" she starts yelling her story over a Romeo's song. "I said thanks to her and then she said something about you wanting me to visit and I said I'll visit next week and I talked to the DT and asked if I could leave the country for a couple of days and they said okay" Laure smiles considering her story perfectly told.  
Tobin is confused and amused. "But I thought you had a team-bonding trip to Germany?"  
"I did, I do, in a week"   
"Oh"  
"Are you disappointed?" Laure is the one confused now (she thought the girl would be happy to have her there)  
"No, no I'm not. Absolutely not. I'm just..." Tobin starts to explain but she can't think of the right words to say. "I thought I wouldn't see you for a while at least" Tobin finishes.

Laure kisses her passionately. Alex just stares.

She's standing a few steps back, looking intensely at the scene in front of her. «A scene. Don't make a scene, Alex, that's what she said» Alex can't believe what she's seeing. She brought Boulleau back to the States?

"Alex, are you okay?" She hears Syd question from behind her. "Oh" I think she saw.

«This is what Tobin must have felt when I kissed him»

"Come on, Alex, let's go" Dom wants to be by his best friend's side, of course. He wants Alex leave his best pal be happy and free, he wants her to let her be herself like she did not let her when Alex was the single most important thing in Tobin's life. He wants to be there for Alex, too, but it's too hard for him now, knowing what Alex did to her.

He walks to the pair of girls. He stops and touches Tobin in several places trying to get a reaction, winking at Laure with complicity.

"Laure, why do you have so many hands?" Tobin breaks the touch with her to count them, but she quickly realized what's happening when Dom breaks into laughter.  
"Dude, that face" he laughs, she pouts. "That face, my god" He's now clapping aloug. "Priceless" he tries to stop laughing but receives a good punch and a kiss on the cheek by the grumpy girl.  
"Mock all you want, Dom, but I will have my revenge" That makes Dom giggle again and waits for his wife to appear next to him.   
"Hi, I'm Dom and this is my wife Sydney, and our friend Alex, I don't think we have met before" Laure shakes Dom's manly hand and looks around with a cordial smile.  
"I am Laure Boulleau, nice to meet you. I know them from soccer, right?" She turns to face Tobin, asking her the question but getting a kiss instead.   
"Yeah, I think you do" Tobin doesn't let her eyes wonder off anywhere out of the girl's face. She doesn't want to.

"Alright, lover girl, time to greet the crew" Dom breaks their staring contest and rests him right arm onto Tobin's shoulders, walking next to her and Laure to his right, Syd and Alex to his left.

"Hey!" They all get greeted by everyone sitting on three different tables at the back of the latinx bar.

"Guys, Tobin stopped making out by the dance floor already. Time to pay!" Ahslyn starts recollecting money.  
"Did you guys really bet on that? On how long?"  
"Damn right, Tobs, a girl has to eat" Ashlyn, Kling and Moe keep counting money.  
"Bro, you're assholes" Tobin says taking a seat. Laure is the last one to sit down and there's no open seats left, so Tobin decides to do one of the many things they used to do in Paris. She pulls the smaller girl into her lap.  
"What's that?" Laure asks sitting comfortably in Tobin's lap.  
"You know there are chairs here, right?" Bella jokes. "Do you people have chairs in France?"   
"Oh we do, but we people like to sit on top of hot American girls for comfort" they all laugh at Laure's joke and Tobin can't help but to feel proud.  
"Owned!" Dom high-fives Tobin and goes for Laure. The girl follows Tobin's lead and slaps her hand with Dom's. «Maybe they're all super friendly like this» she thinks, she's wrong.  
"So, I want a drink. Who wants a drink?" Alex gets up so fast the chair falls. She's tense but only the ones who know her completely can tell—Tobin being one of them.  
"I want one, Tobs" Laure says looking intensely into Tobin's dark orbs.  
"Oh, sure, excusez-moi" she says charmly and wins a small kiss from Laure.  
"Want company, ma aimé?" Laure is standing in front of Tobin waiting for an invitation.  
"No worries." Tobin shakes her head. "I got it" She gives the other girl a peck on the lips and smiles.

Laure occupies the now vacant seat and joins the team in small talk.

Alex is glued to the ground, she won't move. She doesn't know if she should wait for Tobin or if she would rather her not going to the bar with her. She doesn't know if her waiting for Tobin will alarm the overprotective friends of hers, or if that's inappropriate, or whatever. Specially if that's something the Jersey girl wants her to do, that's her biggest question.

After watching her Tobs, or who used to be her Tobs, kiss the french defender, she also glued her eyes to the ground until she felt people passing by her.

Tobin and Dom were walking to the bar on their own.

She sighed and tried to get there in silence, but her thoughts were the loudest.

«I should have stayed in tonight. This getting her back plan maybe isn't be such a great idea»

"Hey! You're Alex Morgan right?" She hears a stranger say. She sighs and closes her eyes for a second. «Yeap, this is exactly what I need right now» "Morgan right?" She nods. "The chick who dated Carrasco? Berkeley Bear?"  
"Yeah, that's me" she replied with a tired tone.   
"Oh men, we went to the same college. I used to play football" Alex smiles politely but backs away a little when he takes a step closer to her. She's so uncomfortable with this interaction.  
"That's so nice. Ugh, well, I'm actually only here to get a drink so..." She points to the bar and turns to face the barman. She wants to get out of there soon. The man has another idea.

"Let me buy you one" She protests against but either he did not hear her or ignored her because instantly after saying those words, he turned around and started shouting at the barman.

«I just wanted a fricking drink» She's ready to step on the gas and scape but when she makes a move to do it, his big hand stops her.

"Don't leave just yet, pretty girl" He looks dangerous, and he's hurting her.  
"Yo', Lex. I've been looking for you, did you get our drinks?" Tobin stepped in and grabbed her by the waist, looking harshly at the man grabbing Alex. "Who are you? Why are you grabbing her arm like that?" Tobin asks threateningly.  
"I'm a friend" he lets go but does not move. "Right, Lex?" To hear that stranger pronounce those words almost made Tobin gag and jump on him at the same time. She did none, though.  
"I'm the only one who can call her that..." She left it open and hold Alex tighter and closer to her, if that's even possible.  
"Ron. Ron Scott" he says.  
"Oh. Well, Ron Scott, we're saying goodbye for the night. Have a good life" She didn't wait for a response but took off with Alex still attached to her, and she didn't let go until they were outside the bar and out of the stranger's reach.

When Alex felt the lost of contact, her ability to breathe was magically restored. She did not want to let go, but she's scared too. «I've waited to feel those hands on me for so long»

They remain silent—Alex still while Tobin paced around. After a few seconds of pacing, Tobin stopped right in front of the blue eyed girl.

"Are you okay?" She asked looking intensely at the forward's saddened eyes.  
Alex swallowed down a nod and tried her best to formulate a rational sentence. She could hear Faith by Calvin Harris from her place in front of the girl she so desperately wanted attention from. «I guess I should just have a little faith, right? This is good, right? She rescued me»

"Alex, are you okay?" Tobin asks louder now, evidently worried.  
"Yeah, hmm, I am. He scared the crap out of me and that will leave a mark but I'm okay" Alex was, for some reason, feeling guilty while Tobin was feeling furious. «I should have swing him» Her fists rigid next to her sides. Alex looks at the act and reacts without thinking, out of reflex—like she did so many times before. She cupped the other girl's face with her shaky hands and tried to appease her.   
"I'm okay, Tobs" Tobin froze. She did not move, she did not say a word, she did not look away. When the scene finally hit Alex, her eyes almost popped out and her hands left Tobin's skin abruptly.

Tobin wanted to say something, wanted to move, to scream, to run, but she didn't. She just stood there waiting for something to say, gathering her erratic thoughts.

"Maybe we should go in then" She decides to say. She was thinking too much and not thinking at all, all at once.  
"Maybe" Alex wanted to do something else. She wanted to run, wanted to run away from everything and everyone with this girl running by her side. That does sound like something they could do, knowing their record. In fact, that's something they bonded over in the past—that unhealthy compulsion to get up and leave to avoid situations and complications. To avoid people. She used to (and still does) think of Tobin like her perfect complement. She considers Tobin her partner in crime, her other half. In fact, half doesn't cut it—she's her whole. She understands her like no one has ever done before or will ever do, even though she used to complain Alex was «royally confusing», she understood her perfectly.

She missed that Tobin. She missed old Tobin. She missed her Tobin.

Tobin did not miss old Tobin, though.

"I'll go ahead and get back to the table." Alex is a little disappointed—she knows Tobin understood her hint. She always does.  
"Sure, right. Let's go"

They walk back in silence. Tobin grabbed her by the waist again when they passed Ron Scott again, her touch burning in her sensitive skin.

"Sorry for the touching" she whispered Alex while walking. That burned too. Alex decided to remain silent.

«Let her go Tobin. You idiot»   
"Tobin, I don't think Laure would appreciate this very much, so you can let go now" Laure. Tobin hasn't thought about Laure since the minute she saw Alex being approached by that disgusting fuckboy.

She let go and remained silent. Alex didn't want to loose contact, but she also wanted to prove Tobin she wasn't a bad person anymore, that she has changed.

Before they could get to the table, Dom jumped in and stopped them.  
"Dude, where have you been? I have like three drinks in each hand. I had to wait for you to get back so I don't get stabbed by the Terrible Seven" He looks from Alex to Tobin a couple of times and decides to let it be for now. "Whatever, I won't tell 'em. Let's go" he hands two drinks to each girl. He had been waiting for them in a booth next to the bar, not visible from their table. When he hands Alex the drinks, he looks at her intently. "The other one is for Christen" he clarifies.

They get to the table seconds later. They set the drinks down and take their seat. Someone apparently got Tobin a chair while they were gone.

"Thanks" Dom and Tobin earn a small kiss from their plus ones and Alex ears a smile.

«This is gonna be a long night» Alex and Tobin think at the same time.

\- - - - -

Tobin and Laure are having the best of times. This is a multicultural bar, that's what Tobin loves about it and why it was chosen. Whenever Tobin was here, she felt cosmopolitan, she felt free and cultural, diverse, she felt like packing and taking off. Whenever Tobin was here, happiness overflowed. And whenever Tobin was happy, Laure was too.

"Let's get another drink!" The french defender shouted above loud latin music.  
"Alright, one shot and then we dance" Tobin was feeling loose, carefree.   
"One shot!" Laure said excitedly, getting Tobin to crack up and kiss her cheek.  
"Come on"

Everyone was gone. The girls were either on the dancefloor or getting drinks. The only ones at the table were Ali, Ash, Bella, Kelley, Christen and Alex. Both couples were shamelessly kissing or flirting, leaving the two Cali Girls alone to socialize.

"I hate this" Alex whispered to herself on their side of the long table, far from the couples.  
"Preach" She heard from Christen.  
"Oh my gosh, you heard me?" She got blushed.  
"Relax, I hate this too. This is just... Ugh" Christen agreed looking around.  
"I know right? Like, I love our team but I think we're the only two single people here and I don't appreciate the PDA's"   
"Totally" Both of them turn just in time to watch Tobin and Laure start another make out session between the sitting area and the dancefloor.  
"Ugh, I hate this so much"  
"That makes two of us" Christen stood up and held her hand out for Alex to grab. "Come on, let's drown our sorrows in overpriced alcohol and loud music we don't understand" Alex laughed but stood up as well.  
"Sure. This is our California, if anyone should be having fun here, it should be us" Truth to be told, Alex was already a little tipsy and had trouble making full sentences, but she trusted Christen wouldn't mind that much.

Standing next to the bar waiting for their cranberry Martinis, Alex and Christen felt the air a little lighter. Christen doesn't know about the whole Alex+Tobin thing, but she does know they had a huge fallout and parted ways, and sides were taken within the team, most of them choosing Tobin's in a way rightly but it still stung. Sides were taken by everyone, the ones who knew the whole story, like the other two New Kids, and the ones who had absolutely no idea of just how bad the situation was. Only a few people remained neutral, like Ashlyn and Kelley, but not all of them. Chirsten had chosen Tobin's side, she knew, but she understands because she chose her side too.

"I was thinking about how every relationship and interaction on the team changed once Tobin left, I mean, please tell me you have noticed" Alex looks into Christen eyes and takes a sip of her drink after thanking Billy the Cocktail Guy how his tag shows.   
"Yeah I have noticed" Chirsten says doing the same.  
"I mean, I'm tipsy so I'll talk about it, okay?" Christen nods. "Okay, well. I think, no, I know it was when Tobs and I fought that last day and everyone found out and figured she was leaving because of me. Like, leaving all of us because of me. And all of you, or at least most of you, got mad at me assuming I was the one wrong in that situation" Alex took a huge amount of her drink down and looked up to the dancefloor, seeing teammates dancing and singing and being happy, and Tobin singing to Laure quietly like she used to sing to her. Tobin's arms were around the defender, she was holding her close and Laure seemed to enjoy it profoundly. Laure started kissing Tobin's neck and Tobin smiled. That's when she had to look away. "I mean, you were right. I was wrong, ya know? But it was more complicated than that, but-"  
"We didn't mean to" Christen interrupted her. "We didn't mean to choose sides or assume anything, but we were left in the dark. We didn't know anything and by the looks of Tobin, she was the one hurting the most, so we assumed you hurt her more and tried to console her because she needed it the most, you know?" Christen apologized.  
"Yeah, it might've looked like she was the one hurting the most, but I was hurting too. It was harder for me than anyone else to see her gone, to have her not reply to any of my messages or emails or calls or anything. I was hurting bad too" A few tears scaped Alex's blue eyes.  
"I'm sorry. We're sorry"  
"Don't apologize. That's in the past and I didn't bring this up because I wanted you to apologize, I just wanted your thoughts"  
"On that?" Christen asks.  
"On whether or not you think things will change again now she's back" They're both looking at the girl.  
"I don't know, but I hope so. I hope things change for the better" Christen smiles and Alex wiped out her tears.  
"Yeah"

\- - - - -

"Oh, I love this song!" Tobin wasn't drunk, just happy, but Laure was for sure.  
"Oui c'est bien" And with that she continued to take down her drink.  
"Alright there, give me this" She took her drink out of her hand. "Good, now we can dance properly"

Tobin and Laure stared dancing at the slow and sensual rhythm. August Alsina and Nicki Minaj.

They were rubbing against each other and enjoying the company.

The lyrics stared flowing and Tobin stared singing along, meaning every word.

"This is song you showed me in that nightclub in Paris, yes?" Laure asked.  
Tobin nodded and smiled. "I did, yes"  
She kept singing. We was having true fun.

"You don't like that? I'll make this easy leaving after sexing on the floor. Baby I know you need me like I need you" she kissed her hard but brief. "Loving ain't the same with a- like me. You're used to them but ain't no love in me" Tobin kissed her hard again, a little longer now. "Ain't no love in me, and I'm the one to blame, ain't no love in me. So don't come looking for love" she whispered those words and kissed her again. Things were getting heated, so to cool down she broke the kiss and started singing again.

She felt a lot of bodies around them but didn't bother to look at any. This was between Lauren and her.

"But you know I can't stay right? All I want is you, so what you trying to do" Tobin kept singing and Laure kept listening, both aware of the message, they know it well. They were sweating a lot, the place was getting more crowded and they were out of drinks. Things were getting serious and overwhelming.

Laure was looking straight to Tobin's eyes when she started raping to Nicki Minaj. Tobin's eyes almost fell out of her face and her cheeks were going to hurt later for sure. "You can't treat me like you treat them" She nailed every word, she said all of them in perfect synchrony.

"What just happened?" Tobin couldn't stop laughing and the small defender joined her.  
"Let's go get water and sit down for a while" Laure says caressing the girl's sweaty face.

She nods and waits for Laure to walk first. When she's about to follow, she feels a pair of hands stop her. "Bro, look who's here" she turns around to see Dom running a hand through his dark hair.  
"Who?" She tries to spot on her own a familiar face that would make the guy so agitated.  
"That stalker guy. The one who chases you guys all round" Tobin looks as confused as she is. "For real? That doesn't ring a bell? Ugh" He takes a sip of his beer. "The guy who jumped on Syd and Mew who claimed to know them but he was an obsessed fan. He chased them and followed them around when you were in that USWNT camp. Restraining Order Guy?"

That's when it hit her. It was him. She wasn't in any point harrasted by him, but she knows Alex had a very big issue with him. He followed her everywhere and things almost got out of control once. She has seen him before but he changed his hair and grew out his beard, almost unrecognizable.

"That's why I left you with the drinks earlier. He was forcing Alex to talk and almost dragged her back when she was leaving. I didn't recognized him though." She's now as agitated as Dom is. «If he tries something on anyone, I swear to God»  
"I'll get my girl outta here. You should do the same" He says but Tobin barely hears him, she's so close to make him combust with her intense stare.  
"Yeah. I'll go warn Alex about it" That made her refocus though. When she turned to look at him, she saw confusion. "I mean, I'll get Laure home and warn her because she was the one he stalked the most, you know? I'm still my mother's daughter. I was raised properly." She says and walks to the bar, looking for a different pair of blue eyes that the ones she encountered with.

"Hello. I thought you forgot me" Laure says drinking her glass of water.  
"We should go. Go find Lauren and Amy and tell them we're on our way" She doesn't wait for an answer, she goes on her mission.

«I'm just being responsible. She would do that, everyone would do that. It's common sense»

She found her sitting on a booth by herself next to the restrooms. "Hey" Her eyes snap up. «Has she been crying?»  
"Hey" Alex's voice was impressively low but the music was far quieter where they were so Tobin heard her. 

Tobin slides in front of her and waits for her to look up again. "I was looking for you" That did the trick.  
"Really?" Alex sniffed. «Okay, she's definitely crying»  
"Yeah" «Self-control idiot, self-control.» "I was actually trying to find you to tell you that guy we ran into was your stalker. You should go home now" Alex had no idea.  
"The man from the bar?" «Ugh, she looks good today» Tobin finally let's herself look at Alex. Really look at her.  
"Uh, yeah. That guy. Ron Scott. He's actually Fred Spencer, your stalker. You should head home, I'm doing that myself" She moved to stand but something made her stop. She lets a big breath go and opens her eyes, staring at the forward's face with concern. "Are you okay?" She asks.

It takes Alex a couple of seconds to decide what she wants to answer. Should she tell her the truth or lie like usually. «No, Alex, you said you've changed» "Not my best moment. Crying on a bar and all ya know? But I'm fine. I'll get over it"   
"Well, I hope you feel better." She stands up and sighs again and looks down exhausted. "Who's giving you a ride?"  
"Kelley and Bella" Alex stays in her seat, waiting for Tobin to walk away on her again and break this polite conversation they're having. «She hasn't killed me yet and she really looked worried at some point. That's progress» Alex thinks as she waits in silence for Tobin's answer.  
"I think they already left" She seems to be debating something with herself. «She looks so cute when she's frowning» "Come on" She simply says.  
"What?" Is Alex's turn to frown.  
"Come on, Alex. Get up, we're leaving" She says with less patience.

Alex does what she was commanded, but's still confused. "Where are we going?" «Please»  
"Your hotel and them I'm leaving to Lauren's place. I'm giving you a ride back"

They meet the rest of the group outside.

"Dom told everyone?" Tobin asks.  
"Yeah" Lauren alternates her eyes between Alex and her.  
"Later, Chen. Come one, get on the car"  
"Amore" Laure calls for Tobin and she walks the rest to the way to meet the defender. "Where are we going?"  
"Well, I'm giving Morgan a ride back to her hotel and then you choose, okay?" Tobin wraps her arms around the girl's thin body.  
"I'll like to go to my hotel, if you don't mind. I'm not prepared to stay tonight. I don't brought anything" Laure looks guilty.  
"I never said you had to stay over. You can do that when you want to, not that I don't like loosing time away from you"  
"I invited her, sorry" Lauren steps in. "I didn't mean to pressure anyone" She looks guilty too.  
"Relax my girls, I'll pick her up tomorrow morning and you'll get to bond over something girly and make fun of me" Tobin gives both of them a smile and a side hug. "But I think it's best if we leave this lonely street now"

They all crack a smile and both girls give Tobin a kiss on the cheek.

"All good?" She asks around.  
"Yeah, I'll drive home" Amy says.  
"On your own?"  
"Well, I thought Alex could keep me company, actually. I'll drop her off, Tobs, don't worry" Amy's looking carefully at Alex.  
"No. She's staying at our usual hotel, right?" Tobin looks at Alex for confirmation; she gets it. "That's the opposite direction. You'd have to drive back the whole way on your own at 3 in the morning. No. We'll drop her off"  
"My hotel is close to your house, Amy. Maybe you could give me a ride like Tobin says" Laure says nicely and smiles at the Jersey girl.  
"No, I'll drop you off too"  
"Tobs, you said it. It's 3 a.m and it's dangerous out here. Let's just go. Amy will take Laure home and you and I will drive Alex" Lauren pats Tobin like she usually does to convince the girl.   
"But I wanted-"  
"A goodnight kiss? Kiss her now, Laure, I'll meet you at the car" Amy intervenes.  
Laure laughs but does exactly that. Alex has to look away and push tears back.   
"Goodnight, Tobin Heath" She keeps her hands on Tobin's face after the kiss, locking eyes with her.  
"Goodnight, Laure Boulleau" Tobin kisses her again but let's go this time. "Text me when you get home"   
"In Paris?" She jokes already walking away.  
"Ha ha, funny girl. No, I mean at the hotel room!"   
"I will!" She gets inside Amy's car and Tobin finally looks to the other two girls there.  
"Let's go" She leads them to her car and gets it. Alex gets in the back and Tobin looks at her through the rearview mirror.

"Tobin-"   
"We're not doing this here" She cuts Lauren. "We'll talk when she gets out" And she starts the engine, driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas y'all. I hope your relatives were nice to you. It's past midnight here :( I wanted to update sooner but couldn't. It's been really hard for me being back home dor the holidays (my gay ass and my mom's homophobic ass can't be in the same place for too long) but ya know. Gotta do it. Buy guys, love you ❤


	7. I'm Not The Only One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, happy new year! Hope you had a blast. 
> 
> Here's the update. You'll notice some things in the story are a little different from reality, like the actual moment when Tobin left for Paris and came back, and Cheney's story, and things like that. This is my story and this is my vision and I have to stick to the storyline in my head so I'm sorry if you don't like it :/ but I'll keep doing my thing.
> 
> As always, if you have something you wanna tell me, let me know in the comment section. I love you guys, hope you like it!

"I think we should talk now"  
"Well, we're not." Tobin says with finality, but Lauren isn't going down without a fight.  
"We're here inside a moving car, you're trapped, you have to talk about it"  
"It's not the right time, Lauren"  
"Don't Lauren me. The right time doesn't exist in this case; the right time to talk about you two was when you first attacked each other with your tongues, but that didn't happen, did it? You didn't say and look at us now."  
"Ouch" Tobin says back and decides it is as good as it can be.

Alex is on the back of her rental waiting in silence. She knows it, she knows Alex knows what's coming too. She looks at those blue eyes through the rearview mirror and sees acceptance in them. They had a silent conversation through her stares, just like they used to, and they both agree.

"We can talk now, if that's what you want, but we already reached middle ground." Tobin decides to go with the truth.  
"What do you mean «we reached middle ground»? Did you came in contact with her and didn't tell me?"  
"I did. I told her to keep cool, that we were not going to be friends and that I'm different, someone she does not know. I didn't need a babysitter to face her, Lauren, maybe the old Tobin but I've changed. I'm more centered, more mature, more firm with my independent smart adult decisions. Nevertheless, I should have told you, I'll admit that, but I didn't want to sit through the whole «she'll suck you back in» speech."

The music on the background somehow seemed louder. Everyone remained quiet after that, Lauren's over-thinking what's the only thing shining through.

"I'm not your babysitter, Tobs, I was just looking out for you. I never meant for you to feel that way, I'm sorry"  
"Don't apologize, I get it. I love you and you love me and you thought—no, you think Alex will hurt me but she can't. You can only be hurt by the ones you give permission to hurt you, and she's not important to me anymore, she's not anyone anymore. She can't hurt me because I won't let her." Tobin changes Trap Queen for a more soothing song. Cherry wine by Hozier.  
"Can I intervene?" Alex says from the back and Lauren turns to face her.  
"Please do" she says harshly.

Alex is nervous, more nervous that she has ever been close to this two girls. They used to mean only calm and security for the forward, but that was before. Before Alex singlehandedly ruined every interpersonal relationship Tobin had with everyone, including her family. She has to apologize for that too. She's about to cry.

"I... I just... I wanted to-"  
"Are you gonna stutter until we get there?" Lauren has never been this harsh to her, and honestly, she doesn't think she has ever seen Lauren been this harsh to anyone.  
"Lauren, remember this is a calmed conversation between adults. Let her talk" «Tobin is the mediator, weird thing»  
"I wanted to say that... Seeing Tobin gone changed me too. Now, I had already made this decision before she left, but, well, didn't do it. I... I wanted to tell the truth, the whole story." Alex was being honest and Lauren could see that, but when she looks at Alex, she remembers everything she did to the girl next to her diving, grabbing the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles are white. She can't help but to feel resentful towards her. "I know I was the bad guy, I know that, but there's a reason why I acted like I acted. I'm not justifying my actions, but I want you to understand everything before you make the decision to cut me off of your life forever" She has pleading eyes and when she has, everyone knows she'll get what she wants. They give her the go ahead and she thinks of what she'll say next. "I knew Tobin was going to mean the world to me the day we met." Tobin shook her head at that comment. "And when we went to that club... That's when I realized I was in love with you, but I wasn't ready for it. I couldn't deal with the fact that I was completely and indisputably in love with a girl, so I fought my feelings for the longest time. As you know, I've never been that good at dealing with feelings and all, so I did what I thought was the best for me instead of for us, or you, or the team" She was talking to Tobin now, trying to catch her eye through the rearview mirror. «Wow, calm down Alex. Don't cry. Sam Smith isn't helping though» I'm not The Only One was making the whole situation thicker. "Can you change that song?"   
"No." That was Tobin's first addition to the conversation, and it was a negative answer. «Great job Alexandra»  
"Oh, alright. Well" she clears her throat. "I did horrible things to you, Tobin, but you have to know that if I hurt you, it hurt me twice as much. I did those things because I couldn't help being away from you, because I couldn't stay away from you, because I felt like if I didn't kissed you or touched you or felt your skin, I would die—like I was suffocating and you were clean air, but I did those things also because, I'm my mind, I couldn't be with you and be happy. Because I thought that if I was with you, like I wanted to be, I would disappoint everyone and I'd ruin everything I had worked so hard for and I just... I was selfish and immature. I'm sorry. I forced you to be with me without getting to be with me, I forced you to lie to everyone you love, I forced you to loose yourself for me and to change for me. I changed you, I hurt you and forced you to cross the ocean to get away from me. I made you do the one thing you said you wouldn't—help me cheat on my boyfriend."   
"Fiancée" Tobin finally looks up. "He was your fiancée, and my friend. You made me become the person I swore I wouldn't be. You made me feel ashamed of myself. You even broke my relationship with God because I felt incredibly guilty and helpless. You looked so untouched by the whole situation... You looked immovable. That's what scared me the most."  
"I'm sorry. I'm really good at pretending" She was shedding tears. Tobin wanted to cry too, but she wasn't going to do that, specially in front of Cheney.  
"I said I forgave you"  
"I don't. Sorry, but I can't. I know you're sorry, I know you've changed, I know you broke things off with Servando and tried to make things right, but I can't. You have to do a lot more than that if you want me to forgive all you did to her, to Servando, to the team, to you, even. You'll have to work harder, and I don't want you near Tobin in the process. I don't think you can ever be friends after this—knowing your history, I don't."  
"You're right, I don't deserve your forgiveness right now, but I will someday. But I think Tobin should be the one to make that decision. If you let me, I can prove to both of you, and the rest of the team, I'm not that bad guy who did all of those things, not really. I'm good, I'm better than that and I've changed for the better. Please give me a chance."  
"Time's up. We're here" Tobin says, parked in front of their usual hotel's entrance.

Alex is little disappointed. She wanted a bigger reaction but she'll take what she can have. Lauren is more pleased with the conversation that what she thought she would, and Tobin is calmer than she thought she would be under the circumstances.

Alex is ready to leave. She grabs her purse, secures the end of her dress and slides to the door.

"I'll try" Lauren says before she gets out. "I'll try"  
"You'll try what?"  
"To forgive you. I'll try to forgive you"  
"And that's all I ask" she hops out of the car and starts making her way to the door.  
"Wait!" She hears from behind her. When she turns, she has to blink twice. "Everything you said back there was true. You did do horrible things to me, you were a jerk, you made me lie and you destroyed me, but I also know you're better than that. I know deep down you're not a bad person, but that doesn't mean anything. I'll tell everyone on the team you're not a bad person, I'll testify in favor of you, I'll try to make them stop choosing sides and everything they have done in my absence, but that won't mean anything either. You are the one who has to prove to everyone you're not as bad as your actions made you look, and I believe you can change the way everyone sees you right now. I'm sorry" Even with think tears running through her face, Tobin can see confusion. "I wanted to apologize because I hurt you too, and you didn't forced me to do the things I did. I did them because I wanted to, because I wanted you." Tobin's gaze was melting her to the ground and tears burned they way down Alex's skin. "You were not the only one wrong in that situation. I was too, and Servando. It was all three of us. Don't blame yourself that much or you'll loose the game before you run out to the field" Tobin, who was standing surprisingly close, took two steps back and more than one deep breath to calm herself down and drown her loud thoughts. "Goodnight, Alex"

This was a nightmare. Alex couldn't say anything or move or breathe or stop crying. She just stood there, almost sobbing, seeing the SUV leave. She stood there a few minutes before the cool air began to feel too much to handle in her current state.

She walked into her room with renewed hope. She was going to prove Tobin she was worthy of a second chance. She was going to get her back.

"You'll see" she says to no one and goes to bed.

\- - - - -

"I'm proud of you" Tobin turns to see her with a smile once she stopped the engine. "But I'm also very upset you lied about talking to Alex" That erased the smile out of her face.  
"I didn't really lied, I just didn't tell you. And you didn't ask either"  
"Oh shut up and let's go to bed. My 6 months-old daughter is waiting for me"

They got inside and everyone went their separate ways to their bedrooms. It wasn't until Tobin got to the guest room that she allowed herself to breathe completely.

«Heck of a day, huh?» she thought leaning on the door.

She quickly changed into boxers and sports bra to go to sleep before checking her phone for the first time.

She saw a text from Laure like promised and a couple more.

Laure: Here. I had a great night today with you. Good night amore.

She quickly responded.

T: I'm the luckiest girl in the world for getting to spend this kind of time with you. For getting to know you like I know you and touch you like I touch you and kiss you like I kiss you. Thanks for today, babygirl. I mean it. Thanks for coming, Laure, you don't know how much that means to me.

She reads and responds to a couple of more.

DD: Sorry to bail on you but Syd wanted to leave supa fast. Luv ya bro see you soon. Tell Laure I say goodbye.  
T: No prob bro all cool. I know how it is. See your lazy ass soon. Luv ya back

Mom: When are you coming in?  
T: When you come into the States, ma. I don't know, I have camp actually, so maybe next week? I love you and miss you.

Allie: I love you.  
T: I love you too.

Radiation: Thank you.

She decides to leave that one without a reply.

"Heck of a day" She says before rolling on her side and going to sleep—leaving the text behind. Her memories and tonight's experience being washed away from her mind by the calming wave of sleep, taking over her as quick as she fell on the mattress.

\- - - - -

She woke up by the sound of her ringtone.

"Ugh" She turned to her side and reached for the nightstand, where she keeps her useless phone—useless in her case. "Hello?"  
"Tobin Powell Heath, why did you text me back so late?" She was fully awake now.  
"Hi mommy, I'm sorry. I was out with the girls and I-"  
"Checking your phone so late? Couldn't you check on your mother sooner? I did not raised you like this Tobin" She was using the same tone she used when Tobin broke her favorite picture frame playing indoors football with her brothers when she was 10.   
"I know mamma, I'm sorry. It wont happen again. You know who I am with these things. I don't like technology very much and I think the feeling is mutual, I've had like 10 phones, I break all of them"  
"I know honey, but I miss you"  
"Miss you too, mamma. I'll see you soon, but I have to go now, okay? It's... 5 AM?! Mom it's 5 AM! I slept like an hour!"  
"Don't you dare to raise your voice at me. Yes, it's 5 AM there, I was being considered. I was going to call you half an hour ago but your dad talked me out of it, right Jeff?"  
"Hi honey!" She hears her dad say. She runs a hand through her face and hair and massages her tense neck. «Oh God, what am I going to do with them?»  
"Hi daddy. I love you" She greets exhaustedly.  
"Love you too, my girl. How are things? How's Alex?"

That made her swallow thick. They don't know about the big fight. They don't know about anything, really. And she doesn't want to tell.

"Things are great! Alex is great too, pa" «Do You think they noticed?»  
"Oh that's so nice kiddo. Tell her she hasn't called me in a while. Here, your mother wants to tell you something" «Oh thank You»  
"Okay. Bye paps"  
"It's your mom. Look honey, the clock keeps ticking and I'm not getting any younger so you better start getting me a grandchild. I mean it" Tobin choked on those words and tried to cough it out. "Oh don't be like that! You know I'm right. Get yourself a nice girl, marry her soon and make me cute little babies" She said that like it was so simple, so easy.  
"Technically, I can't physically make cute little babies with that nice girl, but sure, fine, let's roll with that"  
"Oh well adopt. I don't know, I just want grandchildren before I'm 80"  
"Ugh, ma" She's asking for mercy.  
"Maybe you should ask Alex out and you can finally"  
"Ma!" Tobin tried to interrupt her.  
"Finally act on those weird feelings of both of you and make your weird relationship official"  
"Mom, I swear to-"  
"Don't you swear, Tobin"  
"Then stop it, please. I don't feel anything for Alex" «I don't»  
"Yeah, sure thing honey. Jeff, your girl is still on denial, talk to her!" She heard her scream at the man. "Well, I gotta go baby, talk to you later?"  
"Sure thing mom. Say hi"  
"Bye"

She sighed heavily.  
«Jesus friggin' Christ»

And when she was about to fall back asleep, her alarm rang.

«You gotta be kidding me»

\- - - - -

"Good morning you beautiful queens!" Jrue says excitedly to Lauren and Tobin, both of them reached the kitchen at the same time with the same destroyed expression in their face.

"Shh dude, shut up!" Tobin whispered-shouted.   
"Yeah, dude" Lauren agreed.  
"Fun stuff girls, fun stuff. There's coffee in the pot, pancakes ready to go and very greasy bacon"  
"Oh you're heaven sent"  
"You angel" Tobin and Lauren said at the same time. Tobin went for the coffee, Lauren when for breakfast. "You're still taking your coffee with 5 sugar spoons?" Tobin asks.  
"Nope, that was the baby. Please my regular order" She answers heating everything up.  
"You got it"

They work like well oiled machine. They move around the kitchen like they've done this all their lives, they're connected like that.

"This is actually very scary" Jrue says moving the baby up and down in his spot, sitting in the kitchen top.  
"Oh shut up, we're in sync" Tobin says high-fiving Lauren.  
"Oh yeah"

When they get everything done, they get everything on the breakfast top, at the same time. Tobin puts their coffees down while Lauren sets two plates down next to the cups.

"Here ya go Chen. One latte, cream, three sugar spoons, a little cocoa powder sprinkled, for the lady. One dark coffee for me, very little milk, very little sugar"  
"Thanks. Here ya go, Tobs. Four very hot chocolate chip pancakes with syrup on top, a lot of bacon and no butter. And for me, two pancakes, a lot more bacon and definitely butter" Both take their seats and hold hands for a second.

"You go" Lauren says.  
"Fine. God we thank You for this food and the guy who made it, we ask You to bless it and him tremendously. Thanks for Your provision, Your love, Your protection and Your blessings. Please let this food be delicious and nutritious, and let it find its way down smoothly. In Jesus name we pray, Amen."  
"Amen" Lauren and Jrue add and both girls start digging.

"Tobs, you have to go in one hour top. Baby, we have to take this one to the pediatrician in a while so, hurry up. Both of you. I'll go bond with my favorite girl" He leaves for his room and lets the two girls talk.

"Hey" Tobin says.  
"Hey" Lauren smiles.  
"How are you?"  
"Exhausted" Lauren keeps eating.  
"No, I mean. How are you? How are you with recovery and the baby and Jrue. The press and all" Lauren takes her time to think.  
"Well, we're here, so that helps with the whole situation. I feel more comfortable in this house than the other, and I have more help here with Amy also living here, but I know I have to come back at some point, but I don't want to. That puts pressure in my relationship with Jrue, he wants to go back and he knows I don't. Plus the baby is amazing and I love her, she's my prescious miracle, but it's really tough to take care a small human who can't tell you what's wrong. She hasn't cried that much in these days but still"

Tobin nods and takes down the rest of her coffee. "I get it. If you need help with anything I'm always available, you know that right?"  
"Always. Thank you" Lauren kisses Tobin's cheek and gets up to wash the dishes. "Go get ready champ"  
"You know it" She runs back to the room.

\- - - - -

She's dress up and ready to go 25 minutes before Jrue's given hour. "I'm ready 25 minutes early, what do you have to say about that?" She brags.  
"That your phone is broken and you're five minutes late"  
"Oh God no!" She erratically looks for her keys, making Jrue crack up.  
"Relax, give me your phone and I'll get it fixed or buy you a new one"  
"Yeah, please. It has been acting all weird, I hate phones"  
"I'll get you a new one, Toby" He takes her phone from her hand.  
"Don't call me that" She says annoyed.  
"Your keys are at the kitchen island" He ignores it.  
"Thanks!" She says coming back from the kitchen and running outside with her suitcase. "Love you guys, bye! I'll see you soon!"  
"Go kick ass, Toby! Wait!"

\- - - - -

"Hello amore" she hears from the other line when she answers Jrue's old phone.  
"Hi babygirl, what's up? Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's way too early for you" She turns right and focuses on the road.  
"No, I should be with you. Where are we going today?" «Oh damn it»  
"I'm sorry Laure but camp starts today. I forgot to tell you" She hears her grunt in the other line and a conversation going on in the background.  
"It doesn't matter, amore, I'll stay here with Amy and try to get in touch with old teammates. Have fun"  
"Wait, don't hang up. I'll take you out to lunch tomorrow. I promise"  
"Bien, I'll wait. Te quiero"  
"I'm sorry. Me too"  
"Don't be. See you tomorrow"

She breathes out. «She came all the way from Paris just to see me and I bail on her the second day she's here»

She turns the music back on and Message Man starts blasting.

"A looser hides behind a mask of my disguise"

Tobin starts singing every word and let's herself get lost in the song.

She connects with the lyrics, with the message.

"You don't know my brain the way you know my name, you don't know my heart the way you know my face. You don't know what I've done, I'm wanted and on the run" She turns left and takes the volume up. "So I'm taking this moment to live in the future"

She takes a sip of water from her cooler. "Please use discretion when your messing with the message man. This lyrics aren't for everyone, only few understand" 

She hits the breaks just in time before a big collision happens. She almost got hit by a car. She could've died.

Her head hit the steering wheel with tremendous force, her hands grabbed so tightly her fingers hurt and she had a cut in her lip. She was bleeding a lot and couldn't focus her vision.

Everything hurt and everything was blurry.

"Hey, are you okay miss? Miss" She heard the calling but couldn't fixed on the face.  
"Hurts"  
"Call 911 and her emergency contact" She heard the same male voice command from the outside of her car. "Miss, can you tell me your name and what happened?" She knows this technique.  
"I'm not dying, I just hit my head" She tries to step out of the car but her head was spinning. "Woah"  
"Hey there, careful" The guy helped her stay up when she stepped out and carefully led her to the sidewalk. "Sit down. Tell me your name"  
"My name is Tobin Heath, I'm a soccer player and I need to get to practice" she tries to stand again but her body forces her to sit back down.  
"Easy, your body is adjusting. Nice to meet you, Heath, my name is Dr. Derek Long, I'm a neurosurgeon, so you can trust my word on this. The ambulance its on its way. Do you have someone we can call?"  
"I-"  
"Tobs?!" She recognizes that voice and she's finally able to focus. She sees the girl's face clearly. She's shocked.  
"I'm okay" She says first.

The doctor was looking straight to the girl's face. She's now leaning toward Tobin, copying his position. "What happened?"  
"Are you a friend, family member or significant other?"  
"I'm... Yes" She says simply.  
"Well, miss..."  
"Morgan"  
"Ms. Morgan, that drunk driver was driving through a red light and almost collided with your girlfriend's car"

She was shocked and didn't bother to correct him on the girlfriend thing. She wanted to make that a reality anyways so.  
"What happened then? Did she avoided it?"  
"Yeah, but the impulse of the car when she hit the brakes made her hit her whole upper body with the steering wheel and car deck. It got her head nicely. I'm afraid she might have a concussion" He explains.

"Alex, tell them I wanna leave. I want to get to the hotel" Her worried face was too much to handle for Alex, but fortunately, the ambulance arrives when she was about to cave.  
"The ambulance is here, Tobs. They're here to help, let them"

It takes her a second but Tobin nods and lets the paramedics carry her to the ambulance.

"She has a minor cut on the lip and chin but the cuts on her neck, clavicle and left eyebrow are deeper. We need to clean them and stitch them but we have to get her to the hospital to get her brain scanned. You can get a ride on the back with her" The paramedic explains to both of them but it's meant more for the plus one.  
"Right, okay. Let me make a couple calls" She says getting her phone out.  
"You can make them on the way to the hospital, we need to take her to the ER as soon as possible. It's very dangerous for her if she has a concussion"  
"Alright, let's go. Fast" She's shaking. Tobin's too dizzy to say something, her head is hurting too much to complain and her ears are buzzing too loud to try to leave.

"Alex, my head hurts but I-"  
"We're going to the hospital, Tobs, it's for your own good"

The car starts going and Alex gets her phone out and decides who to call first.

She decides on Jill and types. "Hi, Jill?" She says when she hears her pick up. "I'm in the back of an ambulance with Tobin, she got into a car crash and they need to check her brain for concussions and other injuries. She says she's okay but she's dizzy. I don't how long we'll be at the hospital but I'll call you and keep you on the loop"  
"Oh, wow. I hope nothing happens, hope she's okay. I'll get there when I get a chance"

She calls Lauren and Amy too, she calls Kelley, Bella and Syd for her comfort.

"We're going too, text us the hospital address" Bella says and hangs up.

"Syd, I need you to get to my hotel room and pick up my spare keys and go get my car. It's parked on a side of the road like two blocks from the team's hotel. Get my things, please. I love you, talk to you soon" She asks.  
"Sure thing, Lex. Dom wants to go to the hospital, he wants you to text him the address"  
"A lot of people are coming so I don't think that's-"  
"Alexandra, text me the address now" She hears a rough voice take over.  
"Oh, calm down Dom, everything's okay. We're almost there, I'll text you the name of the hospital but she's okay"  
"I wanna see her. Please, sorry"  
"We're here. Give me a second" She hangs up and looks down at the beaten up girl. "How are you feeling, Tobs?"

"Like I just got hit by a car" They laugh.  
"Well, you kinda did" They laugh again.  
"You're standing a little too close" She says before the doors are pushed opened by hospital employees.

"Car crash, multiple victims. White female in her twenty's. Multiple lacerations including on her lip, neck, clavicle, head, eyebrow and chin. Possible concussion. Lost of conscience once, she got assisted by Dr. Long" A young woman grabs everyone and pushes them away.

"I'll handle this myself, Simmons, you take the other victim. You, you and you come with me. Take her to room 17. Careful, she's V.I.P, got it?" She looks directly at Alex. "Hi, you're Alex Morgan"  
"Yes" She shakes her hand.  
"Hi, Alex, my name is Dr. Kate DeLuca. I'm the head of trauma. I'll be Tobin's doctor today" She says confidently. «She's gorgeous, looks our age and it's the head of trauma at a hospital. Woah»  
"Nice to meet you"  
"Nice to meet you too. Let's go see Tobin" She stops for a few seconds to talk to that nice man who helped them. "So maybe try to prepare for surgical intervention" She turns and motions Alex to follow her. Alex turned white after hearing those words. «Is she talking about Tobin?»

They power-walk side by side for a little until they reach a door with the number 17 marked on it.

"Here we are" Dr. DeLuca gets in the room first, holding the door open for Alex to walk in. She notices how everyone gets a little bit straighter when they notice the doctor's presence. "Hi, Tobin, I'm Dr. Kate DeLuca, nice to meet you" The girl flashes a big smile at Tobin. "I'm the head of trauma and your doctor for today only, hopefully. Do you know where you are or what happened to you?" She's checking her vitals and checking her responses with a flashlight, when she's done, she stays too close to Tobin for Alex's comfort. «She has to, she's her doctor»  
"It's a pleasure, Dr. DeLuca" Tobin looks around in confusion.   
"Pleasure is all mine, Tobin" «There's that smile again»  
"Can you answer any of my questions for me?" She starts checking Tobin's wounds, touching everywhere and checking her body for unnoticed wounds.  
"Well, I didn't introduced myself properly. Ouch!" Tobin complained when Dr. DeLuca poked the cut splitting her left eyebrow into two parts.   
"Sorry. Continue"  
She complained again but quieter. "My name is Tobin Heath. I'm a professional soccer player so I was going to practice when all of the sudden I see a car coming at me at full speed, I hit the brakes, he went by me and I hit my head with the steering wheel real bad and now I have a headache" Dr. DeLuca keeps checking her injuries and decides to intervene.  
"What hurts the most?" She asks, to which Tobin answers with a straight face.  
"It was a rental" Kate is laughing hysterically and she got a small laugh out of Alex, but Tobin just flashed that big grin of hers. "So, anyways. After that a doctor forced me to sit down and wait for an ambulance, I was totally fine but didn't wanted to seem ungrateful so I stuck around. Ouch!" She was cleaning her cuts with peroxide and other solutions.  
"Quit complaining, soccer player" «Is she flirting?» both Tobin and Alex asked to themselves—of course, the feelings behind that thought are extremely different for both of them.  
"Maybe you should be more gentle, doctor"  
"You were saying..." She ignores it and goes in again, trying to be more gentle.  
"Right. Ouch" She was already getting the stitches. «She's so close that if I lean in I can kiss her» "I stuck around, they came, I got carried like a baby by a very big bold man, catched a ride here and then met you. You, who are now poking my pretty face with a needle" Tobin tries to smirk but the pain for her injuries gets it distortioned. She complains again but earns a genuine smile for the brunette stitching up her injuries.  
"Yeah yeah, your pretty face should be fine. That's thanks to my poking. Now, I need to take you to get your brain scanned for a concussion or any head trauma you might've gotten by the accident. I'd take you in myself but I think worried girlfriend over here would really like for me to explain everything we'll be doing to you besides the poking" She winks and turns to talk to the other doctors in the room.

"She's not my girlfriend"  
"I'm not her girlfriend" They both say in unison.

The doctor turned to look at Tobin first and then Alex. She had a smirk on and wrote several things on a piece of paper before speaking. "Oh, that was not was I was informed" She said giving the paper to a nurse. "And whom would the girlfriend be then?"  
"Laure-"  
"No one" Tobin rushes to intervene. She cuts Alex's sad words. "I don't have one"  
"Boyfriend then?" Kate asks.  
"Not a chance"  
"Ha! Seems familiar" They laugh together and then two guys come into the room.

They're dressed like doctors but they don't expell the same trust Dr. Long or Dr. DeLuca expell. They look like they were two kids in scrubs trying to play doctor.

"Ms. Heath" The darker guy says but it came out more like a question than a statement.  
"Yeah?" She answers.  
"You have visitors, like, a lot, but they're not allowed in here. At least not all at once, and not more than one, but I was demanded to come here and announce that... Ehm..." He takes out a piece of paper and starts reading it out loud. "Announce that Jrue and Lauren Holiday, Amy Rodriguez, Kelley O'Hara, Bella West and Dom, Syd and Cash Dwyer are waiting to see you. Also I was giving a note for me to give it to Ms. Morgan but it was a nasty one so the man named Jrue told me to throw it out"

"Oh" That's Alex's only answer.   
"I guess it came from Amy?" Tobin asks.  
"Indeed" He says throwing the piece of paper to a trash can by the door.  
"Figured it" Tobin said looking at Alex, telling her with the eyes she has one more person to talk about the deal with. "Well, thank you doctor" DeLuca laughs and shakes her head.  
"Oh no, he's not a doctor"  
"Technically I-" He adds quietly, obviously annoyed by her laugh.  
"He's an intern. He'll be a doctor soon, a true doctor, but for now he's learning"  
"Oh" Tobin says. "Thank you intern?"  
"You're welcome, Ms. Heath. May I take you to get you tested or should we come back later?"

That's when DeLuca took them to a side, telling them the proper way to treat her and going over Tobin's required tests.

"Alright, Heath. You're good to go, these gentlemen will take you up, I'll be there in a second, I'll just talk to your many fans, seems fair?" Kate writes something down in Tobin's chart.  
"I guess they'll do"  
"Don't worry, they won't poke you, soccer player" She winks at the girl and motions the interns to take Tobin away.

«Okay now she's definitely flirting» Tobin nods as a response to her own question.

When she's out of the room, DeLuca turns to face Alex.

"So, do you want to know what we'll be doing to Tobin?" She gets a nod. "Okay then. Well, I already treated her lacerations, nothing too serious, the deepest one was the one in her eyebrow, did you see it?" She gets another nod. "Perfect. Well, besides that, nothing else was evident. We gave her pain meds and something to stop the bleeding through her IV—that tube connected to her arm. So, that's the first thing we did, took care of the most physical noticeable injuries. Now, what we will be doing is like taking a picture of Tobin's brain to see if something pops up, to see if something's wrong. If she has a concussion, she'll stay in for observation; if she doesn't, she'll go home and rest for the rest of the day and half of it tomorrow, so no practice until at least 4 p.m of tomorrow. We'll also test her blood and impulse responses a later but that can be done here or if we move you to a bigger room, there. Would you like to be located to a room upstairs?"

Alex hesitates. She likes this one, the other can't come in if she's in the room, it has Tobin's lucky number on it, it's big enough and she has no idea of what Tobin would like to do here, but she knows what the old Tobin would let her do, take the decision on her own.

"Sure, yeah. The other can come in to wait for Tobin with me in the other room, right?"  
"Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You'll be in a suite, and don't worry, it'll be the suite number 17" She winks and turns to walk out.   
"Dr. DeLuca" She stops and faces Alex again. "How serious is a concussion? What if she has one?"   
"They're pretty serious, but Tobin should be fine. She's lucky enough to get her head smashed next to the best neurologist of the country, we got to her in time, only lost conscience for a couple of seconds and being wide awake since. She's looking pretty good but I'll still keep a close eye on her. I promise" She smiles comfortably and walks out of the room.

«Hope you turn out fine, Tobs»,

\- - - - -

"Ms. Morgan?" The same man who took Tobin to the scan room walked into the room.  
"Yeah" She was rubbing her arms with her hands trying to use the friction to get warmer.  
"Your new room is ready, I'll take you and your friends there"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post the next chapter in two days maybe, maybe tomorrow. I got most of it done already. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!! Pretty please. Buy guys, have fun :)


	8. Message Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. This is not my best work, but whatever. I wanted to post a chapter. Have mercy on me, please.

«This is it. They're going to choke me. I'll get my ass kicked by Amy and Lauren and Kelley and Dom. At least I'm in a hospital already, you know, convenient»

"Lex! How is she? Are you alright? Why is your shirt all bloody?" Amy asks rubbing Alex's arms after hugging her.  
«What the hell? She's the one who hates me the most» "Uhm, she's okay. Well, at least that's what she says. The doctor says she should be fine but wants to run a few tests to make sure. She's getting tested right now. She looked pretty good to me" She hugs everyone and gives Amy another hug. She missed her. "Thanks for not yelling at me for being in the room with her" She says to both girls.  
"Shh, don't ruin it" Amy answers.

"Excuse me, would you like me to take you to the room now?" The intern asks.  
"Yeah, what's your name again?" Alex asked.  
"I'm Dr. Brandon Wells. I'm an intern here" He offers his hand to Alex and she shakes it.  
"Nice to meet you."  
"Nice to meet you all" He shakes hand with everyone. "I'll be assisting Dr. DeLuca and we'll help Tobin. She's going to be okay. Now follow me"

He takes them to the elevators. They wait for a couple of seconds before it arrives and they walk in.

"So, what happened exactly?" Bella asks.  
"She was driving and a drunk driver hit her car, she tried to avoid it and hit her head. She had a lot of cuts because of all the glass and she fainted for a few seconds according to Dr. Long and she looked so scared" She was pushing tears back. Tobin's life could have been taken away by a stupid drunk driver. Tobin could've been killed today. Tobin was in danger, she was scared. It's all too painful for her.  
"Relax, Lex, she's fine" Kelley whispers for her ears only.

"She's a tough one. She'll try to nutmeg one of us at the room, you'll see" Syd rubs Dom's arm comfortably.  
"Yeah, baby, don't worry"  
"Where's the baby?" Alex asked.  
"Oh, Jrue took him, his, Allie and Laure to get something to eat. Laure almost pasted out when she heard the news" Bella answered.  
"Seriously?" «Is she really here?»  
"Yeah, she was super white. It was kinda scary" Bella took a hit by her girlfriend. "Ouch, what was that for?"

They reach the room in absolute silence.

"Okay, this is it. All of you can wait inside this part of the room, but only four people plus Tobin can be in the actual room at once. Babies are not really allowed in this floor so try to keep them as quiet as you can and hide them from the other patients. We're letting you break these rules because Dr. DeLuca loves you guys, she's a fangirl. Like, obsessed with you guys. It's funny for the rest of us. Tobin is actually her favorite, she has a poster of her in her living room and-"  
"Is that so?" Tobin asks getting wheeled in.  
"Wells, I'm going to kill you. Literally kill you" If looks could kill.  
"I'm sorry Dr. DeLuca I-"  
"Get out of my fangirl face, Tracy"  
"Don't call me Tracy-"  
"Wells get out!" He didn't run, he flew. "So, now we're all grown-ups here, we can talk"

Tobin was pulling Kate's shirt. "Tobs, how are you?" Lauren asks with concern.  
"You can go now, I'll get her to the room on my own" The doctor says to the other two guys in scrubs.

"Yo', I'm great man. Yo', I'm great. I feel great. I'm great but Kate here is not ready to let me go so we're having a sleepover yo', ya know?" Tobin's pulling Kate's white coat and the last girl is reading her chart.  
"Is she high?" Dom says smiling.  
"I did gave her something for the pain, yes" Kate ignores Tobin and keeps checking her chart.  
"Yo', Tobs, are you high?" Bella walks next to Dom and they share a devilish look before smirking back at the patient.  
"Tobin, did you hooked up with that crazy fan from Indiana?" Dom devilish grin never leaving his face.  
"Dom stop messing with her" Syd rolls her eyes at him.  
"Who? Kira? I did" Tobin answers not even paying attention, she's playing with Dr. DeLuca's white coat while she talks with Alex, Lauren, Amy and Kelley about the state of the jersey girl's injuries.  
"Really?! Oh man, good one Tobs" He goes for a high-five and she does just that, she asks for a high-five from Bella too.  
"I have one question" Bella says.  
"Go ahead, y'all"  
"Have you ever had a three-some?"  
"Bella!" Kelley shouts and Bella jumps.  
"Baby I was just playing-"  
"Yeah bro. France chicks are crazy"  
"Alright, I'm shutting this down. I need to get her to the room and you two are freaking me out" Kate puts a string of Tobin's hair off her face. "Let's go you"

Bella and Dom help Dr. Kate push the gurney into the other room.

Alex walks next to the doctor, asking her more questions.

"So you only made her lie down so you could look at her brain?" Kate nods. "And that won't affect her in any way?" She shakes her head.  
"Wait so I can explain fully" The doctor who helped Tobin on the street walked in when the gurney was accurately placed.   
"Hey, there's my crazy girl. Five on top for Jersey" He says holding up his hand for her to slap.  
"Doc" Impacting his hand with hers. "I was afraid you wasn't gonna come bro"  
"That would be rude, you know us Jersey children were raised tough but kind"  
"Yeah" They high-fived again and Bella joined in. She high-fived them both.  
"Are you a Jersey Girl?" He asks.  
"Does it count if I was adopted?" She asks and plays with the hospital bed's remote, pushing some buttons and making it move and twist.  
"Yeah it does. Leave that alone, though" He takes it out of her hands. "Okay, Tobin's hommies, like she presented you, I'm Dr. Derek Long, neurosurgeon. Me and Dr. McHottie?" He looked for Tobin's approval.  
"Yeah, yo', that's it" She nods her head in pride. She has everyone smiling.  
"Alright, so me and Dr. McHottie took Tobin's case and we'll be the ones checking up on her at all times. I took her to get a CT and x-rays to see what happened. Also, we did a few coordination, brain exercises like finger-nose-finger. Right, bud?" He asked and Tobin nodded.  
"I poked my eye" Tobin started rubbing her left eye. Alex, at the sight of this, walked to her side and grabbed her hand and kept her from doing what she was before. "Don't do that Tobs"

Everyone kept close eye at the scene, specially the other two thirds of the New Kids. When Alex noticed this, she took a step back and stood next to Dom.

"So, ehm, anyways. I checked her neck and other bones with the x-rays to see if they broke or chipped. I thought she dislocated her shoulder because she told her right shoulder hurt, but if she had a dislocated shoulder she'd have been in excruciating pain, but she did pulled her muscle. She has to wear this for a few weeks, maybe two, but that's about it" Dr. Kate showed the item Tobin would be wearing for more than a few days. That made Alex a bit uncomfortable. "Besides that, nothing else. The same little cuts the glass from her car did, nothing too grave. Only the ones on her neck, clavicle and eyebrow needed stitches and only a few. She'll have those for a week and come back to me to see if she needs to kept them for longer." Kate smiles back to the girl and she breathes out.

"My chest hurts, Kate" She started coughing and blood came out. This alerted both doctors and everyone else in the room.  
"What's happening? Dr. DeLuca!" Lauren was by Tobin's side holding her hair back while she coughed blood. Amy stood next to Lauren, on Tobin's left side, Alex stood next to the doctors to Tobin's right.

The doctors did several things to help, but ultimately, they could only ease the girl.

"Calm down, Tobin, breathe. Take a deep breath, that's it. You, take this" She gives the container were Tobin cough out the blood to Alex and she started shaking and crying. "This is normal, you might have internal bleeding, we need to check you, okay? Are you-?" Alex couldn't hear the rest of the question, because before she could think about it, she hit the cold hospital floor.

"Woah, I need everyone out. Everyone except you. You need to help me get a gurney for this one" Dom ran and yelled at Bella to come with him when he was on his way out. She went flying. The rest froze. "I need everyone out please!"

They reacted. Lauren and Amy stepped out with tears in their eyes. They were scared and Kelley and Syd tried to calm them, but they had questions too.

"Where's Alex? What happened?" She hugged both crying girls.  
"She fainted" Amy answers sniffling.  
"Who? Tobin?" Syd asks confused.  
"No, Alex" Lauren clarifies.  
"Alex fainted?!" Kelley broke the hug and took a step back, like if physically adding some distance will help put thing together. "Why would she past out?"  
"Tobin started coughing blood" And Lauren started crying again.

"Here! We're back. We brought help" Dom and Bella went inside and ran to the room.

"Higgins, we need to check her abdomen for internal bleeding. You'll come with me, you'll stay with Dr. Long to check on Alex" Dr. DeLuca took Tobin out with the help of the other intern who took her to the room in the first place.  
"O'Brien, help me" Derek carried her to the gurney and checked her vitals.

After seeing she was fine, he turned to the intern and pointed to the door. "Go get me some alcohol and a hospital gown" He did just that.

"Dr. Long, you're needed by the chief" A nurse interrupts.  
"Oh, damn it" O'Brien came back with the objects he was commanded to bring. "Great, you're back. I need you to stay with her and try to wake her up. You too, Ruby" He left the room in that moment but was stopped at the second door.

"Dr. Long?" Kelley asks.  
"Call me Derek" He smiles.  
"Derek, how's Alex?" Her sad smile made him approach her.  
"She's fine. She passes out because of the blood, Dr. O'Brien is trying to wake her up with alcohol. You can come in" He smiles and she's appeased immediately.

She only nods and walks to the door, he waits for a second and sees the other three follow. He takes it as his cue to leave.

When the girls walk in, they see a guy holding a cotton ball in front of Alex's nose.

They see the girl bating her eyelashes and opening her eyes fully.

"Who are you?" She's confused and dizzy. "My head hurts"  
"Dr. Gary O'Brien, I'm an intern here. You're on my charge until Dr. Long comes back" He observed her face for a while, then her arms and chest and decided nothing was out of the ordinary. "You're fine" He takes a step back and the four women in the room surrounded the bed. "I'll let you guys talk, I'll update the doctors" He sits on the empty couch in a side of the room with Ruby the nurse.

Kelley takes Alex's hand into hers and waits for her to look at her, but the other girl is too busy looking shocked at the other two. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Syd caresses the back of her other hand with her thumb.  
"I've been better. I passed out because Tobin was bleeding. I almost took the «scared to death» to a literal level. I got so scared" She looks at Kelley at last. She fights back tears and coughs a little.  
"Well, man up" She hears Lauren. "We're all scared to death for her but she needs us to be strong. Stronger than her, stronger than ever, and you need to be there for her, even if we wish you wouldn't. You have to"  
"Yeah, Alex. Clearly she wants you here, or at least she doesn't mind, because she hasn't kicked you out, so toughen up" Amy blinks away tears. "For what its worth, I almost fainted too"  
"Yeah, Lex, that was quite the scare you gave us there" Lauren smiles.  
"I'm sorry guys" She sits up and stares intensely at them, hoping they realize she isn't saying just because she scared them.

"Guess who's back!" They hear that lovely voice of hers.  
"Tobs!" Bella and Dom say at the same time. One of them has to stay back, only one can come in with her, and Bella decides she should let him go.  
"You go man, I'm good here"

A second later, they see a gurney being pushed in by two interns, Dr. DeLuca and Dom.

"Hey suckers, did I scared you?" Tobin smiles.  
"How can you be joking about this? You made her pass out!" Kelley looks at her like she has two heads.  
"Oh, come on, it was nothing. And guess what!" She slaps her stomach with both hands and throws them in the air. "No internal bleeding, woohoo" Her toothy grin shined bright when she was set next to Alex in the big room. "Woah, what happened to you? Couldn't stand me having the spotlight?" Everyone laughed.

«This is good, Alex. She's joking. Laugh, cry, kiss her, pass out again. Do something!» She smiled back.

"Obviously. How dare you?" Tobin laughed too and turned to her doctor.  
"So, Kate. About that date..."

They hear a knock and then Jrue's voice. "This is it, thank God. How's Tobin? Can I come in?" He sounded closer.  
"Too many people in the room" Kate insinuates and opens the door to let the interns and the nurse leave. Syd joined them after saying a quick goodbye to both patients and left the room, giving Dom a kiss in her way out. "I'll be outside"   
"Wait Kate" Tobin starts but Laure's unmistakable accent sounded clear from the other room.  
"Where is Tobin?" Tobin froze.  
"I'll be outside, Tobin. If you need anything, any of you, you just have to shout. Okay?" Alex nods not breaking her intense stare. She's observing the midfielder over-think. "Alright"

They stay silent waiting for Laure to walk into the room, but Kelley decided she would be better outside next to her girlfriend, so she kissed both girls in their beds on the cheek and waved at the other two.

"I should go wait with Belle. I'll be right outside" When she opens the door to step out, Laure and Jrue step in. They exchanged a quick hello and kept walking.

Laure looked so worried, Tobin's face fell.

"Hey you" She said and before she could say anything else, Laure's lips were on her.  
"I am sorry. How are you?" Laure asked cupping her face with her clammy hands. «And she's sweating too. She was nervous and I was flirting. I'm her Alex»  
"I'm fine Laure, simple cuts and bruises"  
"I was so worry" Tobin smiles sadly.  
"Don't be. I'm fine" «I have to stop this»  
"I came as soon as I heared but Jrue told me to eat. We got lost and could not find your room" Laure kissed Tobin's forehead and held her hand.  
"Thanks Laure, you're a great friend"

When she heard those words, even though she has heard them before, she was shocked. It was like getting an arrow shot to her chest. She tensed up and took a step back so abruptly, she hit Alex's bed and shook her.

"Sorry Alex" That's the only sentence her brain could form at the moment.  
"It's okay Laure" She answers with a low voice. Laure's eyes looked empty.  
"Laure, let's go call Tobin's parents and Jill. Please help me" Amy steps in and takes control.

Laure nodded and started following her out. Alex didn't want to interrupt but she had to. "Ehm, Amy" They stopped. "Don't call her mom, I already did. You should call Jill, though" She smiled apologeticly and shrugged.  
"Alright. Let's go" They walked out.

Tobin had her eyes glued to the end of the bed since Laure broke contact with her. She was feeling guilty and ashamed.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Tobin?" That made her neck and eyes shoot back up. Also Alex's, Allie's, Dom's and Jrue's.  
"Ouch" She stared rubbing her neck.  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" This was a big deal. Lauren never cursed, and hardly ever called her «Tobin». She's in deep trouble. «This is going to be bad»  
"Chen I-"  
"You have to be kidding me, I mean, you finally have a girl who's all in with you. All in! She flew from fucking France to come see you! The first day you ditched her half of the night and left her to catch a ride from someone else, and the second day you get into a car accident, she rushes to the hospital, nearly faints, hadn't eaten, barely slept, worried sick and you fucking tell her «you're a good friend, Laure»" She makes fun on Tobin's voice. "You have to be fucking kidding me you idiot!" «Woah» Lauren's words, even being the truth, hurt Tobin's feelings.

After that outburst everyone remained silent. The truth is Alex, Allie, Dom and Jrue were also taken aback by Lauren's words to the midfielder, she has never talked to her like that. At least not in front of them.

Alex wants the ground to swallow her. Allie wants that too.  
"I think I should leave" Allie said and tried to walk out, Alex wanted to follow. She went to stand up but the two doctors bursted in.  
"Don't do that, Alex. Rest a little. Hi again" He salutes everyone else and they nod. "Alex, I'll give you two hours in that bed so you can rest and eat something, I'm sure you haven't eaten since you came in at 6 a.m, you too Tobin. Also, you need to decide who will be staying with you tonight. Alex is an option too, we should keep her close in case she sees blood again" He winks at her and the mood lights up a bit.

"We got in touch with your Head Coach and she'll be joining us in a few hours. Relax, she understands you wanted to be with the girl so none of you will be hold responsible for missing practice." Kate smiles and pats Tobin on the leg. "You're so lucky"  
"Ugh, if you knew my luck" Tobin shakes her head and Kate imitates her.  
"I know your luck. You could've died today, a car at full speed, drived by a drunk driver, impacted your car with terrible force and you got out with only a few scratches and a headache. You got into a car accident and got out with a few scratches and a headache, and your friends still came to wait for you. She passed out for God's sake, that's how much they care about you." She shakes her head again. "Also we got like a hundred calls from your other teammates asking for you"

Tobin smiled. "You do have a point"  
"So, my girl, you have absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. You can leave tomorrow morning, make that afternoon, maybe right after lunch, I don't know, but you have to stay tonight" Dr. Derek says with a smile.  
"And, since you were nothing but utterly nice to two members of this hospital's board, two of your friends get to stay" Kate adds.  
"I know whom I want with me" Tobin says while looking around.  
"Alright, shoot" Dom goes and sits at the bottom of Tobin's bed and Allie does the same in Alex's.  
"Harry and Dom" She's looking intently at Cheney and Jrue.

Lauren looks defeated, betrayed. «If she stays, she'll yell at me the whole time. Harry and Dom will have my back. I need support, not a scold»  
"Okay, I'll need them to sign some papers and I'll send them back up" Derek slaps her hand and walks away, thinking he was going to be followed, but they stayed in their place.  
"Ehm, guys, you have to follow him". Tobin says.  
"Tobs, you're my bro, but I don't think me staying is a good idea. I think it should be Amy and Lauren"  
"Me too, Harry. You know I love you and that I'll support you and take care of you, but I think they should stay" Allie added too.  
"No. Lauren seems to think I take horrible decisions, and she might be right, but I'm not making one of those right now. She has a small baby, she has to take care of her, and Amy has to take care of her family too, and Bati is not here and Syd has it covered, right? So I choose you. Don't you wanna stay?"  
"We do, Harry but-"  
"I'll pass, Tobs. You should have two girls up in here in case something happens"  
"No. Either you stay with me and Alli, or we stay, the both of us alone." She's waiting for Dom's decision, and he's about to give in to her demands, but Lauren's not going down with a fight.  
"I want to stay, Tobs. Don't make this a fight"

Everyone was standing around the two hospital beds.

Alex knew the girl wanted this over with, so she tried to help.

"Dr. Derek" She started.  
"Call me Derek" He came back to stand at the end of her bed.  
"Derek, can I stand? Can I like... Can we get rid of this bed? I'm fine" She sits up.  
"No, you may not. You're hypoglycemic, you have to wait and eat. Speaking of which. What do you want to eat?"  
"I-" Tobin goes for an answer but she gets cut.  
"She wants chocolate chip cookie pancakes" Alex says and everyone stares at her. "What?"  
"How do you... Why... How did you know I wanted that?" Tobin frowns.  
"I know you" She shrugs.

Everyone stares at them while they stare at each other. Tobin stares at Alex in confusion and Alex stares at Tobin with devotion.

"May I say something?" Dr. DeLuca raises her hand, breaking the moment. "I think Alex should stay. She seems to know Tobin a lot and she came in with her, she passed out even. She should stay. I can make it three plus ones. You can all stay, but I think she should stay"   
"I don't think that's a good idea" Lauren says.  
"Chen, why do you always have an opinion and an answer to everything?" Tobin shakes her head.

She thought about it, she really thought. «Should I stay with her? Would she let me?» Alex's wheels were spinning in her head. She has made a promise. «This might be my best chance»

"I'll do it. I want to stay, if you let me" Tobin remains silent. "So, can I stay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Thanks you for reading, hope you liked it!


	9. Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team by Lorde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo' not super happy about this one, but whatever. It's super short too.

"I don't know" Tobin says.  
"Hey my Toby!" Ashlyn and Ali walk through the door, interrupting. Tobin sighed in relief.  
"Ash! Don't call me Toby" She gave her her best smile.  
"We were worried sick, Tobs" Ash give Tobin a hug and Ali a kiss on her cheek and a hug before continuing. "Everyone wanted to come but Jill said only two and Ashlyn and I ran for the van" They laughed.  
"Hi there. What's going on?" Ashlyn asked Alex confused. "Why are you on a hospital bed too?"  
"She passed out cold when she saw my bod' in this hot hospital gown" Tobin joked and winked at Kate. "I took Kate's breath away, too, right doctor?" She taunted.  
"Don't get me started, Toby" She taunted back.

Everyone started joking around until Dr. Derek remember he needed an answer from the girl.

"I like that you're having fun, Tobin, but I really need an answer from you"  
"What answer?" Ashlyn asks from her seat in Tobin's bed with her legs on top of Alex's bed, poking Alex's side with her toes.  
"Ashlyn stop that" Alex tries to slap Ash's feet away but she gets a slap back.  
"She needs to decide who's staying with her for the night" Kate answers.

Ashlyn's expression goes from understanding to excitement in a matter of seconds. She raises both hands and flashes a big grin.

"Dips! I call dips. I'm staying" She hit Tobin's stomach and slapped the wind out of her.  
"Ashlyn, dude, control your strength" Tobin let's out and coughs trying to get air back to where she needs it.  
"Agh, you big baby, I didn't hit you that hard"  
"She already decided who's staying" Lauren sharply stares at her beat friend.  
"Yeah, I did. Allie, do you want to stay?" The girl shyly nods and walks to Alex's side. "Then it's settled. Allie, Ash and Alex will stay"  
"What about Laure, Tobin?" Jrue asks.  
"I don't know I-"  
"She can stay for me, I don't care" Ashlyn takes her legs down from Alex's bed and swings them up and down.  
"I want you here too" Tobin pouts.

Derek and Kate look at each other, as in having a secret silent discussion. After a few seconds, they both nod in agreement.

"Whoever desires to stay can do so" Kate takes her phone out and starts typing. "I'm letting people know now"  
"One simple rule, you can't disrupt the peace, at least not too much."  
"Girl scout promise" Ashlyn brings her right hand to her chest and raises the other one.  
"You were never a girl scout" Ali corrected her.  
"Shh, Ali, you're not helping"

Kate looked up from her phone and locked eyes with Tobin. They both froze and stared, breathing rhythmically.

"You'll need a place to sleep and there's only for one of you leaving Alex out, so I'll try to get you some beds or sofas"  
"And downstairs say they have no idea of what a chocolate chip cookie dough pancake is" Derek reads his text.  
"You take chocolate chip cookie dough and you mix it up with pancake mix and you cook it like a normal pancake only with delicious chocolate chip cookie dough in it" Tobin explains, getting more excited as she went on about her desires breakfast.  
"Alright, I'll tell them that. Alex, would you like some of those too?" He smiles at the forward.  
"Yeah, sure. Either those or simple blueberry pancakes" She shrugs  
"Noted. Tobin, who's staying with you tonight?" He asks for the last time, hopefully.

She debates for a second. «Lauren and Amy want to stay, also Laure, I imagine, but I don't know. Alex wants to stay too, and I already said yes»  
"I'm cool with anyone. They have to decide if they wanna go or stay"  
"I want to stay" Lauren looks pleading, Tobin looks back at her with guilt. «She's just looking out for me»  
"I wanna stay too" Amy says walking through the door.  
"Me too" Laure says shyly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading! Have a great week people! I'll update by Friday maybe. Love ya'


	10. Thinkin' Bout You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and tell me everything you think about this story thus far.
> 
> I'm not super proud of this one but I'm getting there. I haven't had a chance to really clean it up but I wanted to post something so here it is.
> 
> Have fun!

"Okay, so, from what I hear, Lauren Holiday, Amy Rodriguez, Allie Long, Laure Boulleau, Alex Morgan and Ashlyn Harris will be staying?" Kate enlists.  
"Can I stay too?" Bella jumps on top of Jill's back to get a piggyback ride but Jill pushes her off.  
"No. I can't have all of my players having a sleepover at the hospital" Jill turns to Dawn and whispers something to her. "Hey, Heath. How are we doing?" She leans in and rests her hand in Tobin's shoulder.  
"We are going great. I feel great, I'll be there in the pitch tomorrow by lunch time, I promise"  
"That's a promise you're not entitled to do, Toby" Kate winks. It was in that moment, hearing Laure's breath hitch in her throat, that she realized everyone who came to see her were standing in her room. Suddenly, the air was too thick and the walls were too thin, the space was borderline inexistent and her breathing erratically. She was beyond overwhelmed. "Tobin are you okay?"

Kate's smirk fades away in a heartbeat, the heartbeat Tobin skipped, apparently. «Why's so hot in here?"

She tried to untangle herself from the covers but Kate's hands pushing hers down were stoping her. When she looked up, she saw her lips moving but no sound reached her ears.

Her ears are ringing loudly.

"Kate I can't hear you. I can't breathe" A few seconds after that, Tobin was finally free from the covers, also from the top of her hospital gown, and people were being kicked out by Derek.

"Alright, Tobin, take a big breath for me. Come on, you can do it. Say something if you hear me. Come on Tobs" Kate was checking her lungs with a stethoscope but couldn't hear anything but shallow breaths.

"I know what to do" Alex jumped in and held Tobin's hand into hers. She forced her out of the bed and dragged her to the bathroom, she turned on the shower, as hot as it could be and hoped for the best.

Now the four of them were standing inside a regular size hospital bathroom. Tobin felt even more trapped.

"Alex I can't breathe, get away from me, I need air" She tried to free herself from the forward's grab but she felt weak.  
"Calm down, Tobs, everything's alright. You're having a panic attack, you have those sometimes, steam will make it better" Alex was holding Tobin hostage in her arms, Tobin was now only in her underwear and socks.

Even with her lack of clothing, she felt the air way too hot. Her lungs were itching, her throat was dry, and her breathing shallow.

Little by little, her breathing evened out. She was calmer, she could breathe.

"Are you okay, Tobin?" Derek asked offering her a glass of water. She took it and smiled to the man.   
"I'm better. I freaked out" She took a sip of her drink.  
"Yeah, we noticed" Kate turned the shower off and stood next to the girls. "Why would that be?" Under Kate's careful stare, Tobin realized she was still being held by the forward, so she broke herself free and coughed falsely.

Standing a few steps away from both of them, she took in a deep breath. «I need a beer and a chat with Ash»

"I don't why. Maybe I got overwhelmed or something. We should go back and talk" She walked out like nothing happened.  
"Tobin, people don't have panic attacks for unimportant things" Derek reached her first while she tried to find her clothes.  
"Have you seen my clothes? You said they'd be waiting for me at my room and I can't seem to find them" She kept her search but no one was buying it.

Alex was the one to move forward.

"Tobin, something happened and you don't want to talk about it, and that's okay, but you shouldn't act like what just happened never occurred. If something happened you need to tell them because if it happens again it might be worse" Alex was pushing boundaries here, and she was feeling the pressure.

Tobin sighed. «She's right. Ouch»  
"It was Laure and Lauren and all of you, being here. I don't know I got overwhelmed, I didn't lie. The accident brought back a lot of things, but I'm okay. I just need to get this night over with as soon as possible" She sat down and swing her legs.   
"Here, your gown" Kate offered.

\- - - - -

"So, we reached an agreement?" Jill asks looking around.  
"Yes. Half of us gets to stay in for the night but have to come back tomorrow morning before breakfast, and the other half has to stay with the team but gets to spend the next day with Tobin and gets to stay in in case she has to stay longer" Ali explained.  
"Alright, who's staying tonight?" Dawn looked around.

Everyone looked at each other and debated. The room remained silent while they decided.

"I want to stay tonight" Alex is the first to make a choice.  
"I don't play with you so I can stay, right?" Laure stares at Tobin questioningly.  
"Yeah, you can stay both days if needed. I'll leave tomorrow though" She started playing with her sheets.

Laure noticed, Alex and Allie did too, Lauren and Amy as well, and even Kelley, Ash and Dom, but no once said anything. «Harry's being elusive. She needs me»  
"I'm staying tonight" Allie falls on top of Tobin's legs.  
"Harry, you're crushing my money-makers" Tobin let's out with a shaky breath.  
"Are you calling me fat?" Allie acts insulted, but she sees right through her game.  
"I'm calling you annoying" She pushes her off her legs and into the bed.

"So, she's staying too. That makes three" Derek takes notes.  
"I want to stay too" Lauren nods.  
"No, I don't want you to"  
"Tobin" Amy did her thing were she says things carefully, warning people they're swimming in dangerous waters.

"I want you to stay back this one time to take care of my little angel" Lauren has tears in her eyes.  
"I want to be here with you"  
"I'll be fine. This one's on Tobin duty for tonight" She pats Allie's leg.  
"Yeah, I got her"  
"I'm staying too" Amy says with finally, and just when Tobin's about to differ, she continues. "Me not staying isn't an option. I'm staying, that's it. Deal with it" She has her hand out in Tobin's direction, stopping her from interrupting. "Are we clear?"

The girl nods.  
"That makes four. Who's next?"  
"Can I stay?" Dom asks his wife and the others at once.  
"It's fine by me, I can't see you until the end of the week anyways. Plus, the staff hired a nanny, right Jill?" Syd agrees.  
"Several, actually"  
"See? All cool. It's fine by me"

They turn to Tobin expectantly. She smiles. "You're always welcome with me, man. I soccer you"   
"Aw, I soccer you too"

Dom goes for a hug and stands close to the bed. Apparently, everyone who gets to stay has to stand next to Tobin.

"Alright. Anyone else?" Jill's patience is coming to an end.   
"I want to" Ash stands next to Dom.  
"Me too" Bella next to Ashlyn.

"Not you, Bella" Kelley rolls her eyes.  
"But, baby, a sleepover" She pouts.  
"You do realize this is a well-known prestigious hospital and not a middle school girl's house, right?" Kate jokes and she gets a laugh out of everyone.

"You're not staying. Period. Come back here" Bella does what she's told, even when Ashlyn did a whipping sound at her in mockery.   
"I'll kill you Harris"  
"I'd like to see you try, West"

"Alright so that would be all. Morgan, Long, Leroux, Rodriguez and Harris are staying?" They nod. "Ali, Kelley and Bella get to visit you, with some other additions tomorrow" They all nod again. "Then that's it. You three, we should get going" The three names girls nod once more before Ali walked to her girlfriend to say goodbye.

When she's only inches away from kissing her, she whispers. "Baby, be super gentle and helpful, okay? Remember she's hurting and not only physically" Ashlyn nodded. "Also, don't be too loud or obnoxious so we can come back to this place, okay?" She caresses the golie's face and she closes her eyes in comfort. "I love you"  
"I love you more" They kiss and earn whistles from Bella and Dom. The two bump their fists.

"Grow up"

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing baby" Ashlyn went at her but Ali stopped her.

"Better watch out, West, I'm coming for you" She send knives with her stare.

"Ohhh so spookie. Baby's gonna come at me" She tried again but, once more, Ali was there to stop her. 

"Stop, Ashlyn Michelle Harris"

"Alright"

"Bye everyone" Kelley said her goodbyes and went straight to her girlfriend. "You're so grounded tonight" She said to her. Bella is 5'8, so she's inches taller than Kelley, but Kelley can look like a giant when she wants to.

 

"Babe but why?" Bella's whole demeanor dropped, causing Ashlyn to erupt into a loud laugh.

"You making fun of me because she calls me baby and you get all pouty when «babe» tells you you're grounded" She laughed a bit more, in her defense, everyone else but Bella did too.

"Yo', you didn't get grounded here, so you can't really judge me"

"Oh, she did but she's staying here tonight so I'll deal with this later" She gets a stern look from her girlfriend.

"See? Karma" Bella says proudly.

"Shut up, West" Ashlyn shakes her head and frowns.

"Easy, Harris" Bella makes a mockery face, the one you see in middle school playgrounds all the time.

"Shut it up both of you" Kelley and Ali say in unison.

\- - - - -

They're all getting their stuff and placing them in different parts of the rooms. Dom decided it was logical for him to leave his bag (brought back by his wife) in their waiting room.

"Bro, where you puting your stuff?" Tobin yells at the only man of the group.

"Out here bro" He yells back, reaching for his guitar cases Syd brought with her, going into the other room. "And guess what I brought back with me"

 

He shows her the two guitar cases and smiles. Her eyes shoot opens and a genuine smile works its way into her stitched face.

 

"That's so sick! Are we playing tonight?" She extends her hands.

"Yeah, we are. Do you think Dr. McHottie with a Body can do us a solid and go buy me one?" Ashlyn takes one from Dom's hand before Tobin can reach it.

"Don't call her that and your eyes shouldn't be wondering, Ash" Tobin smirks.

"What, you'll tell on me?"

"I might" Allie joins the exchange. She takes a sit in Tobin's bed and hands her the other guitar.

"Hey, that's mine"

"But pookie" 

 

Ash and Dom pout but she won't have it. She's determined to make the girl next to her happy.

"Thanks Harry" She gets a kiss on the cheek.

"Stop with the love! You're stealing her from me" Ash pushes Allie and lays on top of both of them, turning around to face the forward. "Hey gorgeous, how are you?" She asks ignoring her two friends complain under her.

 

"I'm fine. I want to eat lunch already"

"Wow, Al, it's like 11 o'clock" The goalie shook her head and stepped out of the bed. "I want snacks, I'll hit the vending machines"

 

She's ready to walk out, making her way out with her wallet in hand. Laure saw an opportunity — everyone was quiet and Tobin was distracted but not that much.

 

She walked towards the midfielder and grabbed her arm to make her look at her.

 

"We need to talk" She whispered softly, but not softly enough because everyone else in the room, including Ashlyn, froze in shock.

"Oh oh" Dom whispered too. "Hey Ash, I think I'll join you on your snacks-hunting"

"Oh yeah, wait up" Alex got out of the bed as fast as she could, took her shoes and stood next to the group.

"Need help?" Allie, after giving Harry a sympathetic look and checking she was fine, joined them too.

 

Amy reviewed her options. She wanted to stay to help the girl with panic in her eyes, but she knew she should let her get the scold. 

 

"I think I'll go check on Ryan" She decided and pushed everyone out the door, letting the two girls alone to talk.

\- - - - -

"Okay, it's been bout 7 minutes. We got snacks, bought this one a bagel and looked for Dr. McHottie With A Body" Ashlyn numbered the things they did in such little time. "I'm sure they're done talking by now, right?" She got a nod from the curious group. "Alright, so we're going in"

"By the way, thanks again for my bagel" Alex smiled at her.

"You're welcome gorgeous. Now, let's go"

 

They walked in slowly and quietly. They were careful. Ashlyn was first, followed by Alex, then Allie, Dom and lastly Amy. 

 

"Agh, move it Ash" Amy said in her normal tone, getting shushed by everyone. "What?" She rolled her eyes.

"You're gonna make us get caught!" The goalie whispered/shouted.

 

They stood by the door, paying close attention to the conversation going on passing through it.

 

"I'm not your friend, Tobin. We have sex and we kiss and we touch, we go on dates. We lived together, we have a cat!" Laure sounds angry.

"We don't! I needed a roommate and you're my friend, my willing friend, so you moved in. We gave food to a homeless cat and a pet name, but we don't own it. We do have sex and touch, we did hang out but I never said we were going out on dates! I just-" Tobin sounded just asking angry.

"You just what?! What do you want from me?!"

"I just wanted to fuck you!" Everyone whispered an «ouch», just like Laure. Tobin could almost see Laure's heart breaking through her skin. "I wanted to have sex with you, I thought we talked about this. I can't give you more than that! I can't give you love or anything alike — I don't have it in me. The last bit of love I had within me died the minute I decided to move to Paris!" Tobin lost her fight against her tears. Laure did too.

 

Everyone outside was paying close attention to their interaction, but only Alex and Amy knew the midfielder was crying.

 

Tobin closed her eyes and took in a big breath. A few last tears fell down her red face, Laure kept crying and Alex was just starting.

 

Alex had to look away, even if the only thing she saw was the door. She walked to one of the couches and sat as far as she could from the door. 

 

It was too painful for her to think about the pain she caused the love of her life.

«I completely destroyed her» She shook her head and kept crying silently.

 

They wanted to console her but they were focusing on Tobin, but that didn't stop Amy and Ash, after a few seconds, they decided to sit next to the girl and hold her while she cried. 

 

Allie stood in front of her and whispered in her ear. "Al, I love you, everything's going to be alright. She's fine now. I love you" She walked to the door again. 

 

Never moving from his spot, now hearing nothing but shaky breaths, Dom gave her a sympathetic look and a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	11. Eavesdrop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eavesdrop by The Civil Wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!!!

"Hey, I thought you would be far gone by now" Alex sits next to Tobin in her bed and balances her legs up and down just like the midfielder.  
"Nah, I'm tired of running" Tobin looked up to see the forward staring intently at her, no expression on her face, she was listening without being judgemental. "I'm just not ready for it, you know? She said she was okay with this, and thus far it has been awesome. We kept each other company, took care of each other, all of those things, but I never said we were dating" She tried to explain her ways, but she didn't know why.  
"Well, did she said the words «I'm fine with that»?" Alex kept looking at her while she looked anywhere but her face.  
"Yeah... I..." She hesitated.  
"Tobs" That made her look up. "Tell me the truth" 

Tobin, dropped her head and shoulders, sighed and shook her head in disbelief. «Why am I talking about this with her? Can I be any more stupid?»

"She never said the words «I'm fine with that »" She rolled her eyes. "But she nodded and stay silent. She nodded and kissed me, I don't know. That seems like an agreement to me"  
"Tobs, you and I both know we most times do and agreed to things we don't want to for the people we love. She only agreed to it just because she thought you would change your mind. Just like what happened with us" Alex said as sweetly as she could, but apparently it wasn't sweet enough.

Tobin's head snapped up, she looked shocked and angry — undignified. "No." She said rigidly. "This is nothing like what happened with you and me" Alex felt a really cold breeze all the way to her bones. "You never said anything about us, you just kept saying you loved me and wanted to be with me but couldn't. You not once made a move to back up your words, I agreed to it because I wanted to be with you and thought you wanted to be with me too. I made my proposition to her because I wanted to fuck her and thought she wanted to fuck me too" She had her jaw clenched and her eyes set of the forward's scared ones. She was fight back tears. "I was clear and explicit with her from the start, I never said this would escalate."

"But it did, Tobs." She decided it was best if they didn't discussed their relationship right now. «Not when she's like that». "Things escalated, she caught feelings, she fell in love with you and-"  
"How do you know she's in love with me?" Tobin asks shaking her head.

Alex hesitated for a moment. «This could and probably is going to make her break and she'll be so angry she won't talk to me for like forever, or she might see my point and understand my position» She debated with herself. «Whatever, I can't loose her any more than what I already have» Tobin was patient. She kept quiet and let the girl think.

"Because I look at her and see myself. I see myself in her eyes, in her skin. Because I know what a girl in love with you looks like, Tobin, because I've been one since I first saw you." She was the one getting agitated now. They were both staring deeply into each other's vulnerable eyes. "I know what loving you looks like, and, believe me, she's deep into love with you. She couldn't help to give into your demands. Trust me, you could make someone shoot themselves happily if you tried. You're above all of us, and everyone it's here to please you. You deserve it"

"Now you're just exaggerating" She lowers her head and closes her eyes, taking steady breaths trying to calm herself down for her next statement. "You didn't"

 

That shocked the forward. She clenched her fists and pushed back burning tears. She knew what she meant but needed to ask anyway. 

"What?"

 

"You didn't" She looks up and so does Tobin. "You didn't do what I wanted. You didn't gave into my demands. You didn't shoot yourself for me" «You didn't leave him for me» She thinks what she really wants to say, but she thinks implying it with her last sentence it's enough.

 

Enough to make Alex loose her battle with remorseful tears, that's for certain.

 

She tried to think a good answer for the midfielder but her brain only showed her pictures and memories of them being happy and acting like a couple, and then some of them fighting over Servando, her hurting the midfielder deeply, and then some of all the times she could've saved herself and the girl the misery, of all the times she could've said yes to her, all the times she could've left him.

"And I have no excuse for that. I said I wouldn't use them anymore and I plan to keep my promise — that one along many others" In her current state it was hard for her to make up logical sentences and hard to say them. Her voice kept cracking and she couldn't see the girl behind all of her unwashed tears. "I'm so-"

"I didn't say that to make you cry or apologize once more" Tobin shakes her head and sighs. "I said that to make a point. To paint a picture" She got up and looked for the guitar in the other side of the room. Once she got it, she went back to her previous position. "I said that to prove not everyone says yes to me, not everyone does what I want" She takes it out and starts playing a song softly in the background. 

Alex focuses her eyes in Tobin's skilled hands for a couple of seconds, trying to recognize the song before going back to the girl's face. The song was familiar to her but the name remained unknown to her.

"In fact, pretty much no one does what I want, no one. No one has even done what I want them to. If you didn't do it then..." She softly hums over the chords. Alex remembers now, that's one of Tobin's favorite songs — one she dedicated to her. "I wish you were right though"

"Eavesdrop, The Civil Wars, huh?" Tobin nods. "Do want me to..." She left the question open for her to give it whatever meaning she wants to give it. Tobin shakes her head to all of the possibilities.

"I kinda need some silence" Alex nodded once and started to stand up to leave. Tobin shook her head. "You can stay here if you want to, I never said I wanted you to leave"

 

She debated whether she should stay or not. «I want to stay, and she's too focused on her depressing music to remember she hates me, but I shouldn't. This is progress, she made a move, I shouldn't push it» She made up her mind.

"If you want me here in silence, here in silence I shall remain" They lock eyes again. Alex shallowed down a lump. "But if you don't need me here, I think it's best if I give you your space" She stopped playing and Alex looked down at her hands. «I want to hold her hand so much right now» "I'm not used to being on the other side of hurting you" They both smiled. «Good, she took it as a joke, keep going» "You know, the part where I don't do all the hurting but try to fix the damage, but I'm pretty sure this is around the time you need some alone time. You need time and space to clear your head" The joking is gone. "I'll be here in a heartbeat if you need me, I promise"

 

Tobin stayed silent for a long second. She sighed again. 

"Thanks" She then laughed. "I never thought I would say that to you again" Alex joins in the laugh but her heart hurts too. «I hurt her so much»

"Goodnight, if when I come back you're already asleep" She smiles. 

"Goodnight, Alex" She smiles back.

\- - - - -

"Hey, do you have a minute?" She couldn't think of a better person to talk to. She couldn't think of another person she wants to talk to right now neither.

"Sure, no problem. What's up?" The California native replies with her usual sweet tone.

"I kinda had a fight with Laure and now my head is all messed up" She ran a head through her hair. The girl on the other line held her phone between her tanned cheeks and her shoulder.

"Hold on, sorry. I'm trying to distance myself from the gals" She walks out of the dinning room. "I'm ready" Tobin hears a door close in the background and smiles. «She walked out to talk to me» "Lay it on me, Toby" She cringed.

"Ugh, I told you to not call me that. I hate it" She rolls her eyes even if the girl can't see it.

"Well I don't care cause I love it. Come on, let's talk about what matters"

"Sure thing, Chrissy" She smirks waiting for the reaction she'll surely get from the other girl.

"Ugh, why do you have to be like that?" She can picture «Chrissy» rolling her eyes in the other line.

"What? Fair?"

"Come on, Tobs. Did you call me to make fun of me or to talk?"

She smiled. «Maybe I didn't call her to talk about Laure»

"Maybe both?"

"No. Do it already!" They both laugh.

 

Tobin nodded her head, Christen can't see her do that but she did it anyway. She rested her phone between her cheek and shoulder to keep playing. 

"We fought because I called her my friend instead of my girlfriend"

"Oh" Christen nods in the other line. She sees people start to walk out of the dinning room so she walks away.

"Yeah, but in my defense, I told her she wasn't my girlfriend from the start. I mean, how could she, we have a thousand reasons to not be anything serious but she keeps pushing me"

"Did you talk about those reasons with her?"

She shook her head. "Maybe not. I mean, we did talk about one. The most important reason, but not all of them"

"And what did she say about it?"

She thought carefully about her answer. «I don't remember»

"Oh, yeah. She said I was just scared"

"And are you?" «Wow»

"Did you majored in psychology?" Both girls laugh.

"No, I majored in Tobin Powell Heath" She smiles. "I have a little man back home who's exactly like you"

"Oh you do?"

"Yes, my younger brother. He's just like you, he thinks and acts like you. And for that, I know how to treat both of you"

 

Tobin nods in agreement. She stops playing to reach for a glass of water. She takes a sip and coughs.

 

"Sorry, water took the wrong path. Hmm, you were saying?"

"I said I know you"

"Oh, right. Yeah, I'm pretty easy to figure out"

"You're wrong" Tobin frowns. "You're complex, but in a good way. You're not one-dimensional, they're different sides and parts of you, parts that make you the awesome person you are. You like simple things, sure, and you're always happy no matter what, but you're not one dimensional"

"Wow, you boost my self-esteem" They laugh. 

"Shut up you idiot"

"And there it goes the newly-found self-love" They laugh once more. With them it was easy.

"Alright, now. What's going on with Laure?"

She thought carefully again.

"I think she wants something from me I can't give her"

"And what's that?"

"Love? I don't know. Love, stability, a relationship"

"Why don't you?" 

"Why don't I what?"

"Why don't you have all of those things?"

 

She stood up and paced around. She was nervous now, sweaty palms and erratic pulse. It wasn't Chris, she was never uncomfortable talking to Chris, it was talking about Tobin and Alex. Chris doesn't know it's Alex's fault but it could come up at some point, and she doesn't want to lie to the girl.

 

"I've been hurt and used before" She said just below a whisper. "I just don't believe in love anymore" She stopped and looked to the ceiling. "Not when referring to me. I believe people, other people, can find love and love their partners and everything, but not me. I don't have that in me anymore" She sits down and sighs. "I found the one I thought I was going to marry, I loved them deeply, I did my best effort, I fought all the battles, I used all my best weapons but still fell short" She was silently crying now. "I did all I could do to keep them but lost them still. I lost my chance, I gave them all. I don't have nothing else in my soul" Both girls were crying. Christen was crying harder. "I have no love in me anymore"

After calming herself down enough to talk, Chris decided on what she wanted to say.

 

"So that answers me right?"

"What do you mean?" Tobin wipes a tear and frowns.

"I asked if you were scared" Tobin sighs. "That answers my question"

"I am. I'm scared because all I know is pain and I don't want to feel it anymore. So no thanks. I won't have it. I won't date her knowing it'll be the end of us" She took another sip of water. "The painful end of us"

"Want me to come over and talk?" She laughs slightly.

"Isn't that what we're doing right know?" 

"You know what I mean"

 

«Can she do that?»

"I want you to but you can't. I mean, when Bella said she wanted to stay too Jill almost got a stroke" She joked around to light up the mood. 

"I could if an ice cream it's promised" 

"Oh, so blackmailing me now?"

"Blackmail? How am I blackmailing you?"

"You say you'll only come over if I promise to give you ice cream, and you know I want you to come over" «Is she flirting?» Christen started playing with her hair and biding the end a little. 

"What do you mean?" Tobin laughed and Chris' palms started sweating.

"You know what I mean" «Okay I don't» Chris stayed silent. "So, I want you to come but I know you can't, so it's okay. You just have to promise me you'll come tomorrow to take me back" Both soccer players smiled. "And I'll promise it'll be ice cream"

"Seems fair to me"

"Good to know Chrissy"

"Well, I have to go. Bye Toby"

They both laugh and end the call.

 

Tobin too a breath. «Thanks Chris» She shines that big toothy grin of hers and starts playing a different song that before. 

 

She started singing Thinking Bout You along with the chords. After hearing only guitar chords, Ash went in with Dom.

Both of them had guitar cases in their hands.

 

"Thinking Bout You, huh?" Ash asks getting her guitar out.

"I'm in" Dom gets his bass out. 

They stayed there playing a few songs together. Singing, playing, having true fun with each other. 

They missed the middie. They sure did.

"Hey, we should go get the girls so they can rate our gig" Dom puts his bass down to walk out of the room.

 

"Wanna talk about it?"

Tobin smiles recalling her previous conversation. She shakes her head.

"Nah, I already did"

"Play something good Harry!" Allie walks in and sits next to the girl in her bed.

The rest follows, including Laure. She sits in front of the Jersey girl. 

They look at each other intensely.

"Play 102, Matt Healy" Laure asks.

She obeys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and have a great day/night!


	12. 102

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 102 by Matthew Healy (The 1975)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best but whatever

Tobin's light mood changed. She was feeling guilty again.

She looked right at Alex's eyes. She remembers what they talked about. «She did that because she's in love with you and that sucks. It sucks the fact that you can't give her what she wants but you didn't do anything wrong. You said your stuff, she choose to stay»

"Alright, do you know that one?" Ash nodded but Dom shook his head. "Okay, so it's just you and me"  
"You go ahead and start without me, I'll follow you halfway down" 

She did just that. 

She started playing the same song she had played for Laure one of those cold nights in Paris.

 

The notes fled fluidly from her hand movements. She thought of all the times she has played this for Laure. 

She knows the smaller girl asks her to play this song when she's having trouble remembering why she's putting up with Tobs.

«Maybe the right way to put it is when she's having trouble loving me»

She takes a deep breath. She looks up and sees only friendly expecting faces. They want her to play, she's not sure she can do that. 

«Calm down, stop making everything bigger than it is»

She took a deep breath again. She was ready.

She started singing the lyrics. Laure was already fighting tears.

«Il ne faut pas se fier aux apparences» She remembers. She prays. She asks to remember. She hopes she can remember that every time Tobin is being like that.

"Hard to love" She whispers and Alex turned to her.  
"What?" Laure was looking straight up, Alex was looking at her.  
"Huh?" She turned to look back at the forward.  
"You said hard to love" Both look at Tobin and wait for a second.

"She is" Alex nods in agreement.

They stay silent after that. Soothingly hearing her recite all the words.

 

Tobin had a great voice and great guitar skills. She's looking at Laure when Alex caught her eye again.   
«That song's about Alex, not Laure, you know that»

 

She keeps singing, thinking about her past situation with Alex and how that pushed her to where she stands today. 

«I have international career, friends all over the world, irreplaceable memories, a better view of the world around me, I'm more mature emotionally, I'm not broken anymore, I'm not helpless, I don't settle, I'm grown. I'm better. More confident»  
She reminded herself all the things she has accomplished in one year.

"I hope this song will remind you I'm not half as bad as you've been told"

Alex swallowed down a lump. The song was getting onto her. 

She turned and saw the french defender wipe a single tear shed by her blue eyes. Her eyes kept wandering and found everyone had watery eyes. «Apparently I'm not the only one hurting»

The song is ending. They all look forward to it and not at all at the same time. They want it to go on forever but they couldn't take it.

"I like the way that your face looks  
When you’re yapping on about him"  
She smiled. 

Ash remembered her girlfriend. They had a complicated start but couldn't be happier now. She still remembers fighting Ali when she went on a date with «Dre», she rolls her eyes when she thinks of him still. She was so mad at her. She couldn't deal with the fact that someone else was going to be able to touch her, buy her food, talk to her, take her out. The thought broke her.

If she felt that with just one simple stupid date that she knew would let nowhere, imagine what Tobin felt all those years with Alex and Servando. Tears burned in her eyes.

"And I just sat there for ages  
Contemplating what to do with myself"  
Tobin flashes her grin again and shakes her head. «I'm always wondering what to do with myself»

"I called you up at one hundred and two. We just sat there for ages talking about that boy that was getting onto you" Tobin's voice broke when she sang those words.

Maybe this was upsetting her more than what she thought it would.

She was looking straight at Laure during the whole thing, except for when she looked nowhere in particular, but when those last words where coming, getting closer, she had to turn and face the forward.

Alex was looking back at her too. She was paying attention, she was drawn by her. She was upset too.

The song is done. She can look away and change the mood for a more upbeat one.

Everyone clapped when she finished. They were all in tears, even Dom.

"Dom you big pussy you're crying" Ash mocks when she sees him wiping some tears away.  
"Shut up you asshole, you're crying too" He pushes her and everyone erupt into a conjoint laugh.

"Alright, let's play something more happy, more upbeat"

\- - - - -

They ended up playing a bunch of different songs. They had the best time, but now it was late, night time.

Dr. Kate and Dr. Derek joined them about an hour ago.

"Alright, It's been utterly amazing and fun to hang out with you guys and watch Tobin murder The House of The Rising Sun, but I need to get home at some point" Derek gets up and fists bumps everyone in the room. "Derek out"  
"Peace out, Dr. D. See you tomorrow before I leave?" Tobin smirked.  
"We'll see, if you leave tomorrow I mean. I'll see all of you tomorrow morning. My shift starts at 6 so don't leave until I get here" He smiles and walks to the door with his stuff.

"I should get going too. I have to get some rest before a big surgery"  
"Come on! You can stay a little longer!" Tobin, Ash and Dom had heart-shaped eyes. Laure, Allie and Alex were not happy about that.   
"Pookie, Ali's calling" Allie gives her a defiant look.  
"What?!" She jumped and charged to where her phone was laying. No calls. "You liar"

Kate laughed and waved at them. "I gotta go, I left a colleague dealing with the E.R so I could be here and it's been long enough. I'll see you later if you're awake, if not, I'll check on you in the morning"

And after that, she was gone.  
"So what are we doing now?" They all turn towards Ash.  
"Maybe play a game?"   
"Great idea, Laure! We should play Uno" Allie stands up and goes to her bag.  
"Nah" Dom denies.  
"Maybe charades?" Allie steps in again.  
"Oh no, remember the big charades fallout of '06?" Ashlyn says just like a wizard would do talking about Lord Voldemort.  
"Yeah, probably not the best idea" She remembered.

Tobin and Alex, along with the rest of the team, decided to play some charades but decided to leave it all to luck so when they were casted to different teams, everything came crashing down quickly.

It was like the universe was against them playing against each other, and when Tobin won, Alex freaked out and threw Kelley a plastic fork.

Names were called, forks were thrown, chairs and tables were flipped. Things got out of control. 

"It wasn't that bad, you guys" Alex rolls her eyes.  
"Alex, we're still not allowed to play unless you guys are in the same team, remember? And we haven't played for two years" Ash points out.

"Monopoly?" Dom gives another alternative. Everyone there except Laure and Dom gasped. "What?" He asked in confusion.

"Do you wanna die, Dom?" Ash said.  
"Do you have a death wish?" Allie joint in.  
"For real bro" Tobin adds and they laugh.

"Guys! Stop!" Alex commands but now everyone's laughing.  
"Maybe we should just change into our pyjamas and put on a movie" Tobin shrugs.

Allie claps excitedly. "Good idea Harry. Movie night!"  
"Me and Dom are gonna get more snacks" Ash stands up and slaps the guy on the knee to make him follow.  
"Who said I volunteered?" He frowns.  
"I said so" She does not give a shit. "Come on" They wander out.

\- - - - -

"Hey, Harry, are you awake?" Allie, who was cuddling with Tobin, asked the girl.

They were all arranged in both hospital beds. Allie and Laure were next to Tobin in her bed, Ashlyn and Alex were in Alex's bed and Dom's laying at their feet. 

"Yeah, what's up?" Tobin looked down. Allie's so attached to her side she's going to be surgically removed in the morning.  
"I feel sad about you" «What?» Tobin frowns.  
"What?" Allie looks up to meet the midfielder's gaze.  
"I'm sad because you're back and we welcomed you with fights and car-crashes. And on top of that, Alex's right next to you, and you left to not have her around" She whispered.

Tobin laughed a little and squeezed her tight.

"You worry to much bout me Harry" She gives her a kiss on top of her head. "I'm super chill and laid back, remember? I don't care. I'm fine" She smiles at Tobin. She's much more calmed. "I'm fine with Alex being here, I don't care for a little fighting, and definitely, I won't get used to car-crashes but I can deal with them" Allie snuggled closer. "I'm fine"

Allie nodded. 

"Let's talk about your luck though" They laugh together. Apparently, everyone was asleep.  
"Everyone is asleep, right?" Tobin looks around and sees Laure clinging to the end of her old UNC jersey. She moves her left arm to pull Laure closer to her.  
"I said we shouldn't have play that last one" Allie shakes her head and stretches. She tries to stand up but she's in the middle of the bed. "It wasn't necessary"

"You can go over us" Laure, sound asleep, snuggled closer to her when she smelled Tobin's scent.  
"It shouldn't be that hard" she rolls her eyes. 

She does it perfectly without waking anyone up and gets to her bag to get her toothbrush out.

"And are we sleeping like this anyway?" She starts to brush her teeth.  
"I think so" Tobin looks around to find all eyes shut. "Morpheus was here"

Allie's done with her brushing and flossing. She's standing next to the beds.   
"Should I jump back in?"  
"You could sleep in one of the air mattresses" Tobin shrugs.   
"Alone?" She says so childlike it breaks Tobin into laugher.

That wakes Laure up, who had her head on top of Tobin's chest.  
"Oh, sorry baby, go to back to sleep" Tobin kisses Laure's forehead and frowns at Allie. "Harry, don't"  
"You don't"  
"No, you don't"

They start a childish argument.  
"You don't!"  
"You!"  
"Can both of fucking you shut the fuck up!" Ashlyn growls and flips to her side.  
"Sorry" Both girls apologized at the same time.

Laure squeezed Tobin. She wants to be as close to her as possible.

"I think Dom should sleep in another bed" Allie whispers.  
"Why? He won't do anything, he's awesome" Tobin frowns again.  
"It's not that, it's because he's sleeping at our feet. He'll be super sored tomorrow" She bends to reach his face. "I don't wanna wake him up though"

Ashlyn growls again.  
"Dom!" She kicks him. "Wake the fuck up! Go pump up a mattress, goodnight" She flips to her other side, leaving a very shocked Dom.

He's in complete confusion.   
"What happened?" Everyone was up now.  
"You need to move buddy, you're uncomfortable there" Tobin speaks to him like you would speak to a temperamental five-year-old.   
"Oh, okay" He gets up and goes to the couch. "Goodnight girl"

Alex looks at Ashlyn like she has lost her mind.  
"Are you out of your mind? We were sleeping" She rubbed her eyes and flipped to her side, away from the goalie, facing the midfielder.  
"Let's all go back to sleep" Tobin looks away. "Harry, are you sleeping here?"  
"Yeah" She jumps back in in-between Alex and Tobin and hugs them both. "The three amigas!"

All of them smile and laugh together.

Tobin feels her leg vibe and gets her phone out.

Chris: Heyyy. I know its 2 o'clock in the morning but I couldn't sleep. I wanted to let you know you're not wrong, you're rediscovering yourself and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with loosing yourself every once in a while as long as you fight your way back. What I want to say is... Fight your way back, and if you don't want to fight alone, Im here. Goodnight! See you tomorrow :)

She smiled and decided what to write back.

T: Thanks Chris. I mean it. C u tomorrow.

When Tobin looked down, Laure was sound asleep. «Yeah, I'll be okay»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had fun reading this.
> 
> I know it's confusing right now, but it'll get better, I promise. Everything will be set straight soon, just out up with me until then.
> 
> I didn't double check this as usual so forgive me for any mistakes. 
> 
> Had a great day/night and let me know what you think in the comments ;)


	13. Let It Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let It Go by James Bay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot Amy was there with them, sorry guys. I hope this helps with all the confusion, as I said, it was purposely.
> 
> Things will get faster and better from here, thanks for getting this far with me.
> 
> Expect another chapter by the end of next week if not sooner.

"So you called Christen?" Ashlyn takes another sip of her orange juice. Tobin nods. "And she told you what? That you need to talk to Laure or what?" Tobin shakes her head. "She told you she'll see you today?" Tobin nods. They're having breakfast alone. They woke up at 6 a.m. "And do you wanna see her and like... Talk?" Tobin nods. "Why? We're us. We don't talk about this things like that. We shake it off" Tobin nods again. "We leave that shit to the girls" Tobin nods again and takes a sip of her coffee. Ashlyn looks at her like she has two heads. "Look bro, you said you were leaving to fix all the shit up in your head, but you came back confused as hell. You seem to change your mind every two seconds!" 

«She's right»  
"Being back here it's confusing! Don't judge" She takes another bite of her breakfast burrito.  
"It's not! You said you're over Alex, act over Alex! You said you were with Laure, act like you're with Laure! You said you're back into your normal self, act fucking like it! You're different and confusing" Ashlyn shakes her head in disappointment.  
"It's true. I know I'm weird, I got used not having to overthink anything. I was there and no one knew anything about me, about anything, so basically I was this new person. My life was a clean white canvas and now I'm back here and it seems like I'm the same person as before, only my surroundings changed back in Paris"  
"Damn right. You're life was clean canvas out there, but you're life here is a clean canvas too. You don't have to be anything you don't want to be and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and you don't have to befriend people you don't want to befriend. You can do whatever feels right Tobin. You should" It's been a long time since they had a heart-to-heart conversation like this. Tobin had missed this. "And you've changed, Tobs, you're more like the Tobin I met back in NC" She takes a deep breath and gives the girl a empathetic smile. "It's okay if your head is a little messy right now, just don't mess things outside your head, get me?" 

Tobin thinks for a moment. She looks away and takes another sip of her coffee. She looks down at her hands and sees her mother's ring. The ring that represents their love for each other. The ring her mother gave her when she came out. «Whatever you decide to do with your life, and whoever you decide to be, and whoever you decide to be with, remember I'll always love you and support you just as much» She remembers her words to her.

"I do. I think I do" She sighs. "I think I know what to do"

Ashlyn nods. She invites her to continue but apparently Tobin doesn't get the message. "Go on"  
"I think I need a beer and a run. I need soccer and bro-time" Ashlyn smiles proudly and nods.  
"Damn right you do. End of camp, one week in Orlando. Can you do that?" Tobin pouts.   
"Actually not, I have to get back home to see the folks"   
Ashlyn agrees. "Maybe we can come to Jersey, can we?"  
"Yes! Please" They reach an agreement.  
"It's a plan then"

\- - - - -

«I'm acquaintances with Alex and friends with Laure. I can't give her more, I'm going to tell her that»

"Hey Laure, can we talk?" Laure gets up from in front of the TV and joins her outside their suit in the hallway.  
"Yes?" Tobin swallows thick. «Don't get cold feet»  
"There's something we haven't discussed" Laure nods and swallows thick too. Tobin gathers enough strength to go on. "I thought we had reached an agreement that night in your flat when I told you I couldn't do the dating thing, but now I know why you did it — why you said yes" Tobin held her hand in hers. "You did it because you thought you could fix what's broken, and that's what I thought I could do with Alex, but unfortunately for us, in more ways than one, there's no such thing" She's coming to terms with her realization. "You can't fix what's broken in me just like I couldn't fix what's broken in Alex. She was taught to never leave the «normal standards» or she would disappoint everyone around her and she can't handle disappointment, and I was drained out of love because of it. I was taught we only get one person, one guy or girl or anything in-between to fall into love with and I fell for Alex in the most purest way possible, and for me that's it. I met her when I was 17, for God's sake. I built a life around her, I got used to loving her before she got used to loving herself. I don't know if that makes sense" Laure nods. "Alright, good. The point is, she has or had, honestly I don't know because I don't know her anymore, but she had this big heavy emotional baggage I couldn't carry for her and it destroyed me, but I tried to anyways, even knowing I couldn't, I was strong enough and I wasn't capable, but I sure as hell did try for quite some time. I don't want that to happen to you. I don't want to be your Alex, I don't want you to feel less because you couldn't carry my undeniable baggage, because you honestly can't, and honestly, I don't think I can't either, at least not for very long. You always argue with me when I say I carry more than a couple of suitcases with me but you know I'm right, you know I do." Laure was giggling through tears. "No one has ever loved me like you do, Laure, and no one has ever cared for you the way I do, but from all the things I could or have prevent you from having — I won't prevent you from having some one who loves you richly and deeply, just like you rightly deserve" Tobin was shedding some tears of her own. "I had you for long enough, I was selfish but now it's time to be selfless. You have to be fully happy and you'll ever be fully happy with me, we know so, so the only thing I can do to show you just how much I care for you, is to let you go" She smiles and remember the words she heard from Alex in one of those voicemails the forward thinks she didn't hear, words that made a lot of hurting at the time but that ultimately helped her heal. "I'm letting you go because I'm a good person, and if I wasn't, believe me I wouldn't let you go, ever" «That's not exactly what she said to me though» Tobin forces herself to stay in the moment and not loose herself in her memories as usual.

She lost the battle, as usual.

*

She was sobbing on the floor of her little one bedroom apartment. She was sad and lonely, cold air burned in her lungs. She was starting to regret her decision for the tenth time that day and it was only 3 p.m. on her 19th day in Europe.

She was thinking hard of what could've been. She was picturing a specific pair of blue eyes. She was remembering all version of her smile. She was piecing together little moments they shared. She was breaking herself apart.

She picked up her phone and saw the infinite amount of lost calls and reaching attempts. She saw the insolit amount of voicemails, all from the forward she guessed, and decided to play one.

She skipped hundreds and heard the most recent one. You could hear a sad, tires, defeated girl in it.

It started with a little heavy breathing and ruffling in the back. After a loud bang, and something made out of glass shattering, the forward's voice replaced the noise.

«Hey... Tobs, I... I'm sorry alright? I'll never stop saying that. I won't. I won't cause I'm truly sorry. I thought I could have you all to myself, I thought I could do this. I thought I could be with you and still be tied to Servando. I'm sorry I tried to do that, I just thought that was the only way I could be with you» Alex's crying was the only sound she could hear after that for at least a minute. More glass been shattered, more ruffling, more regretful thoughts and Alex's voice could be heard again. «I did everything I did because I'm selfish and I wanted to be with you. I did everything thinking of me and never of you. I did everything I did because in a moment in time, you were the only reason I woke up and got up to train. Because you gave me the strength to pull through, because it felt life you were the air in my lungs and the blood in my system. Because it felt like the only way I could live was with you, and it still does, Tobs, but I know better now. I can't live without you, you can't live with me. I hurt you too much, and now I have to do the right thing» Tobin wasn't aware she could cry that much. «You have always seen me like the greatest person alive in all ways. You have always seen me like a great girl, someone kind and generous, someone giving, someone selfless, but I have never been that. I've always been selfish and greedy. Now, it's time for me to honor the image you used to have of me, it's time for me to act like the good person you thought of me, Tobs, and for that I'm letting you go» It was like saying those words actually killed something inside of Alex because her voice and breathing changes significantly after she said that powerful sentence. «I'm letting you go, because you deserve some on to love you like you want me to, and I can't, at least not right now. I can't love you the way you want me to because I don't deserve it and I have a lot to learn still and a lot to fix, but I'll wait, and I hope you wait too. I'm letting you go, but know I'll wait for you until the end of time itself if necessary, because there's no moving on from you, Tobs. There isn't» She heard the girl take a deep calming breath and release it slowly. «Goodbye, Tobs. May you find your way back to me through forgiveness» And she heard a click after that — the voicemail was over.

"It did more harm than good, but that's always Alex" She said to the moon, because there was no one else to hear it besides. 

*

"Are you back?" Laure squeezed her hand, Tobin shook her head.  
"I am, sorry" She was used to it, though.  
"You've done enough apologizing for today, don't you think?" The smaller girl caressed her face and she closed her eyes instinctively. "I'll do the apologizing now, okay?" She got a nod from Tobin. "Okay. I'm sorry too, for pushing you to feel something and for pushing you to be someone. I didn't mean to try to change you, I love you the way you are. Hard to love" She gave the american a sad smile. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for everything but I don't regret a thing" People walking and working could be heard from around them but in that moment it felt like it was just them, alone in their privacy, their own little space. "I don't regret my decision and I don't regret falling for you. I love you and I know you love me, in your own way, so I'll give you your freedom back. No tied with me, okay?" She nodded. "You're free. I don't feel less because you, I don't think you're bad. I'm happy we got to be together for so long. I was happy with you, no matter what. Remember that, always. It's not your fault, amore" She held both of her hands and brought them to her mouth for a soft kiss. "It's all good, we can move on"

Tobin felt a huge weight being lifted out of her sored shoulders. She was glad she decided to do this. She felt much better.

"I still want to be your friend"  
Both girls smiled.

\- - - - -

"And you did all of that? Wow Heath" Kate, Ash, Dom, Derek, Amy and Tobin were eating fries in her hospital room, in that order.

The rest were send to arrange Tobin's departure from the hospital.

"I agree with Kate. Wow indeed" Derek threw a fry into his mouth.  
"My inner fangirl is doing backflips and triple mortals but I'm sorry" They got a short, punctual version of what happened with Alex and Tobin and Laure. Tobin found herself trusting her doctors in a way she wasn't expecting.

"Shut up, Kate. This is not about you" Kate pushed Derek and rolled her eyes.   
"Anyways, what's gonna happen with Laure's trip now?"  
"Yeah bro, that's a good point. Good observation, Dr. McHottie With a Body" Ashlyn taunted her and she got a punch in return.  
"You don't wanna get on my bad side, Harris, you might find your way into my table one day and it might get ugly" She gives her a killing stare.  
"You could loose your medical practice or whatever" Ash fights back.

Dom, Derek and Tobin keep eating her fries enjoying their little fight. The truth is all the other players were very fond of the doctors too.

"Ladies, ladies, don't fight. Dr. McHottie, don't argue with stud here, she might cry" Now Derek is the one getting punched. "No, seriously. What's gonna happen next?" Tobin shrugged.

She hasn't thought of that really. After her chat with Laure, she just got back to the room and asked for everyone but the people currently with her to leave the room. She needed bro time, and now that included Derek and Kate.

"I haven't thought of that. I don't think I want to. I want things to happen organically at its own curse and time. I'll be Laure's friend and I'll be Alex's colleague, but I don't know. I'm not thinking about it for a change" She popped another fry into her mouth after dipping it in ketchup.  
"That's my girl" Dom smiled at her.  
"Proud of you" Any whispers to Tobin's ear.

"Oh, look at the time" Derek licked her fingers and stood up, giving his tray of food to Dom. "Sorry guys but I have a surgery and you no longer need me to consult you professionally" He flashed his grin at his former patient. "I'll be here if you need my consult personally" He winks at her. "Goodbye guys, I hope to see all of you soon but not near my hospital" They laugh. "Bye"  
"I should go too" Kate gives her tray to Ash. They protest too. "I have to arrange everything for you to leave, Tobin, I think you'd like me to, right?" She nods. "Right, so I gotta go. Keep safe and in touch, please?" They all nod. "Oh, and you still owe me that drink" She reminds Tobin and gets a smile in return.

"I won't forget. Bye, Kate"  
"Bye guys"  
"All set Harry! We leave in one hour, let's get ready!" They walk in right when Kate was walking out.  
"Perfect!" They get up and do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyed it?
> 
> Leave feedback, please. Tell me your hopes, predictions, whatever you'd like to let me know in the comment section.
> 
> Have a great day/night/week y'all!
> 
> Hope you liked it.
> 
>  
> 
> (Also message me in Tumblr if you like. Basorexic.tumblr.com)


	14. Don't Wait by Mapei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I have something to admit, something I hardly ever say: I have dyslexia, that's why it is so difficult for me to post chapters — if reading it's super hard for me, imagine to write something myself. If you don't know what dyslexia is, I encourage you to look it up, BuzzFeed's explanation is spot on, but I'll try to explain it in the best way that I can for you.
> 
> It's like my brain knows the words I want to put in writing but my hand and eyes won't cooperate and words get mixed up and letters get mixed up and phrases get mixed up and then all I come up with is a bunch of badly-written words. I make tons of mistakes writing simple sentences and it's even harder for me to remember to double-check them because they're probably worst that I think they are. My brain it's backwards and I can't control it, so I appreciate your understanding and cooperation. 
> 
> Please, if you see any mistakes, have patience with me and please let me know so I can correct it. It's important to me.
> 
> I'll try to post more often and better content every time. Keep a close eye on this story because it'll only get better from here on.
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> I hope you have a great day/night.

"Where's your head, Tob-Tob?" Tobin's head snapped up. Laure was seated next to her. She paused the music to hear her.  
"Nothing. I'm just happy I'm on this bus again" She tried to smile but it did not came out alright.  
"What's going on?" The small defender rested her left hand on Tobin's thigh.

Tobin contemplated lying to her again, but she promised her and herself once she would not lie to Laure, so she just sighed and looked through the bus window.

She played the song once more and allowed the lyrics to ease her.

"I kinda hate being back, actually" She whispered, careful to not be heard by any of her love ones.   
"Why?" Laure staring down at her and started rubbing circles on her smooth skin distractingly.   
"Huh, sorry. Mm, what?" Laure followed Tobin's eyes to her moving hand and she removed her from her leg like she just got burned by her skin. Their eyes met again, Laure was careful, she felt like she crossed a line. Tobin didn't mind.

She took the defender's hand into hers, rest it on her lap and looked away to the road.

"I'm not exactly thrilled to be back because, well, you know, Alex and I don't get along perse, at least I don't want to. And I thought I had it all figured out but apparently, I don't"  
"You don't want to be friends with her?" Laure stares at her, she stares at the road.

"No, I don't. I want to be cordial and that's it but I feel like that will only add tension to the already unbearably tense ambient within the team, makes sense?" Laure nodded when Tobin turned to face her. She sighed and shook her head. She needed this with Laure, these moments. These moments of comfort and safety, these moments of love and pure friendship, these moments of honestly. "I just wish I could always be the person I was back there with you"  
"I don't" Laure admitted and Tobin turned her head so fast and hard something cracked. Tobin rubs her neck and looks shockingly at the girl.

Laure didn't, honestly. She didn't want Tobin to always be like back home. She wanted more from her.

"You don't?" Tobin asks confused.  
"I don't" She says with finality. "When you were back home and we start this..." she moved her vacant hand from her to the girl a couple of times to signal them. She was not sure how to put their difficult and confusing relationship into words. She then found one she could use. "thing. This thing" She said more confident. "When we start this thing you were... mean. You didn't mean to but you hurt me, you had sex with random girls and came back to my bed with me and act like never happen. You said I was your friend and then made love to me everywhere no matter when. You take whatever from me whenever you wanted" «I hurt her like Alex hurt me» It was a scary thing for Tobin to admit that, but there was no more hiding behind the excuse that she told her what she wanted from the start, she still hurt her like Alex hurt her.

"Amor-" Laure extended her hand to her, making her stop on her tracks — she wasn't done talking.  
"You were bad, yes, but there were times of happiness. Times you were kind and good to me, times you act like the real Tobin I met a long time, not the fake Tobin. Real Tobin don't hurt. Real Tobin doesn't lie." Tears were threatening to fall from Tobin's eyes. "Real Tobin took me to the clinic when I was sick, real Tobin woke up early to feed a stray cat. Real Tobin help with every move from the team" She remembers every little thing Laure's describing, but the memory of her helping teammates move in brought up a smile to her face. She did help with every moving in. "Real Tobin give money to poor people and charity, all she has with her. Real Tobin is forgiving and loving. I feel in love for real Tobin. I fell in love with the Real Tobin" Laure was joining her on the quietly crying sort of thing she was doing.

"I don't deserve you"  
"You did but not the point now, it's in the past" She unhooked their hands and she sat straighter. "Every place has its good and bad, Paris was good to you, but also bad. You were good to me, but also bad. Every thing and everyone is good and bad. They are together, there is none without the other" Then she said in french: «Einstein said bad is the absence of good, and darkness is the absence of light, and evil is the absence of God, and hate is the absence of love, and many other smart things that made him the brightest person who's ever lived, but he has never said more truthful words as those. He gave the biggest statement there. He gave an explanation to why there's so many negative stuff right out there, in our lives, our world, ourselves» Is hard for Laure to be as smart in english as she is in french, so she switch knowing the midfielder would understand. Besides, she rather the others not knowing what she's saying. Also, sounds better in french. Both of them are smiling slightly. «It's okay to feel weird at first, you were gone for quite some time, but now it's time to stop running and start facing your life here. Maybe you'll embrace the good and the bad in your life and go back to being the Real Tobin I fell in love for»

Tobin was smiling through tears, and Laure wiped them out. They were being watched by every one of the people inside that bus, but they had no idea of what they're talking about so they focused on their own conversations.

Bella wanted Tobin to be meet her kids and Kelley was ready for Tobin to meet her family. She was going to confess something to Tobin she never thought she would say.

Alex wanted to talk to Tobin too, but there's an anti-Talex-fight squad ready to intervene if they're ever close — that's how Megan calls her, A-Rod, Lauren, Moe, Alyssa, Ali, JJ, Hao and Lindsey.

"Are you sure we should add Belle to the squad?" A-Rod asked Lauren. They were both joining the team today, A-Rod because it's her reincorporation to the team and Laure for moral support to her fellow New Kids.  
"She seems to get along great with Tobs and I think she'll understand, she's dating Kelley, for Christ's sake, she'll relate and choose Tobin's side. I know it's not the best way, but she's close to Alex and will be close to Tobin, I can see it, so she'll keep up posted on both sides. She'll be our double-agent"   
"I don't think that's how it works-"   
"Hey guys" Tobin plops down next to them at the end of the bus, startling them. "We're super close to the arena, I can feel it" She separates them so she can take the seat in-between both of them and rest her arms on their shoulders.

Lauren gives Amy a knowing look and they smile to her, Cheney hugs the jersey girl and holds Amy's hand, resting their joined hands on top of Tobin's lap.

"I'm so glad we're all back together" She lays her head on Tobin's chest, above her heart and eases herself with the constant heartbeat.  
"Where's my little princess and where are my boys?" Tobs kisses Chen's and A-Rod's head but keeps her eyes on the french defender talking to Ashlyn and Dom a couple of rows in front of her.  
"With her dad" Lauren says.  
"Team's babysitter" A-Rod adds as well.

Tobin decides she needs to tell them about the deal she made with Alex.

"I have something to confess" They look up at her in a expecting matter. "The unknown number I went early to meet was actually Alex" Lauren and Amy look at each other for a moment before breaking free of their contact and sitting straighter on their seats, facing the midfielder. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to lie but I thought it wasn't relevant for now because she didn't say yes or anything and I didn't lie totally, I did not know who she was at first, I did went to meet an unknown number but when I got there it turned out to be Alex and we stayed and talked and now-"  
"Tobin, breathe" Laure traces circles on her skin and Amy rubs her back smoothly.

Tobin takes a big breath and looks down. «I shouldn't have. I could have said the truth for the start, I could have said no and leave, I could have stayed in bed»

"I made a deal with her — a deal to meet her once a week until I leave for Portland, to see if she has changed in any way. I didn't thought it through because I'll leave as soon as camp ends and I won't go to Portland, I'm leaving for NJ and we'll have no chance to talk at all and I don't think I can be totally imparcial. I can't look pass our history. I can't look pass what she out me through. I don't know, I just want this to be over with, she'll be in Orlando and I'll be in Oregon and we'll only see each other in camps and games against and we won't talk or anything because it's not necessary"  
"You think that's the right decision?" Amy asks still rubbing her back.  
"How so?" She looks up and plays with her hands.

Amy looks around to make sure no one is paying attention to them and thinks exactly on what she'll say next.

"Is that the right decision for you? To shut her off completely?"  
"Are you trying to get me to forgive her?"  
"No, Tobs, I mean, yeah but that's not what I was saying. I want you to forgive her not for her but for you, but I meant is it best to keep running away and avoid contact with her at all costs"

Tobin looks at her confused. "I thought you guys wanted me to not talk to her" She alternated her eyes between the both of them and frowned deeply.  
"Believe me, we don't want you to get sucked in again and get hurt but we do want what's best for you and only you can decide that, so we'll stand aside you whatever you may choose" Lauren finished their rehearsed argument.

«If we tell her what to do she'll push us away and we'll be on the dark forever. She never told us about her and Alex because she knew we would lecture her and stop her from doing things and she doesn't want that. She wants friends, not mothers» Lauren had said to Amy back at the house when they were talking about what to do with the midfielder. They had agreed this was the best way to handle things with her.

They seemed to be right.

"I get it. I don't exactly know what's best for me, right now, but I know who does" She points up, towards the sky. "He knows, and I'll obey for once. I'll try to pray as much as I can and He'll tell me what to do, in the meantime, I'll try to avoid being with her alone at all costs and just hang out with you" She smiled at them. "And Laure" She looks up and locks eyes with the defender before she smiled to Ash and left Tobin to stare at her amused.

\- - - - -

"Hey, Tobin, I need to tell you something"  
"What's up, B?"  
"I need you to meet someone" She stopped her in front of the hotel doors. "I want to warn you because they'll pretty obsessed with you because of what Kelley has told them about you and they wanted to meet you and they can be a bit intense"  
"Sure, yeah. No prob" She agrees carefully.  
"Thanks dude" She helps her with her stuff to get inside the hotel and up to their room as soon as possible.

When they get inside Tobin notices Kelley and Sammy holding two kids. Kelley holds a girl and Sammy a boy. They're both brunettes and tiny, they're both very excited too.

When they reach the small group, Bella puts down her baggage and rubs her hands on her acid-washed skinny jeans.

She takes a deep breath and coughs to get everyone's attention. The children's eyes are about to pop out of their socket.

"Tobin, these are my kids. My kids, this is Tobin. Asher and Alex" Bella smiles and grabs her son from Sammy's arms. "Say hi kids"

Tobin smiled and looked between the young couple and the kids. Kelley was dating a nineteen-year-old girl with two kids. Boy was she like Tobin — loved complicated.

"Hi" Before she could muster anything else, the little boy threw himself to her arms without notice, but she managed to catch him. He was being held by both her mom and her idol, nothing better.  
"Hi Tobin, I love you" He whispered to her in the sweetest, most-loving voice.

She looked at Bella who was smiling sweetly at her girlfriend and daughter and decided to take him. Bella let her.

When in her arms, Asher let himself hold Tobin as tight as his 4 years-old muscles allowed him, she has no problem with that.

"Hey little buddy, how are you?"  
"I'm good" He sorbed his nose and Bella rubbed his back in a motherly fashion.  
"Are you crying my boy?" She asked.  
"Auntie Tobin is here" He replied like if that was enough explanation.

"I might have told some stories about Aunt Tobin" Kelley steps into the conversation holding Alex tightly. Tobin allows herself to scan the girl's small features. «Ha, what do you know, another beautiful Alex»  
"All good stories, I hope. And hey, who do we have here?" She asks and rubs the girl's back. She's holding Kelley tightly for comfort, she's unsure.

"Hey" Little Alex whispers.  
"Hey" Tobin replies in the same tone.  
"Can I hug you?" She's scared she might say no, but there's no way Tobin is passing on the opportunity to hug that cute little girl.  
"I would love nothing more" And with that the girl jumped to her arms too. She was struggling to hold both kids but she was holding her ground.

Bella and Kelley hugged and the taller girl high-fived Sammy before she took off after a small «hi» and a nod towards Tobin. They were hugging, keeping each other close while their kids enjoyed the midfielder's attention.

"Thanks bro"  
"No problem dude, it's my pleasure" She answers the younger middie with an honest grin.  
"Well, come on guys. Tobin needs to get settled in and you need to eat and get ready for team practice. Let's go" She tries to take them but they don't want to leave Tobin's soothing arms.  
"No mommy, I wanna stay with Toby" Little Alex gave her mom her best pout. She won the fight.  
"Argh, Alexandria, come on" Bella pleaded.  
"But mommy" Asher matched his sister's perfect pout and joined the fight for custody.  
"Tobin needs to get her stuff in her room, plus she just got out of the hospital. She must be tired and hungry so please, come on" Kelley tried again but with more confidence in her voice. Tobin has never seen this side of the Georgia girl, and she's starstrucked by it.  
"It's okay. They can help me unpack" Tobin smiles to the two smiling kids she's holding, and then turns her attention to the two women in front of her. "So can you" She gave them the most knowing smirk she had and put their kids down to grab her bags. "Come on" She gave her bag to Kelley, Bella was already holding one.

She started walking with one child in each hand but she heard Kelley complain from behind her.  
"Ugh, it would have been easier to leave her to her luck with the kids"  
"Shh, babe, she'll babysit later for us to pay us back" Bella made sure Tobin heard that, she did, all she did in response to shake her head and flash that toothy grin of hers.

Not everything about being back was negative or confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye guys, let me know what you think of the story. Love you.


	15. Team by Lorde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt different. I wrote this quicker than I thought I would and took a different direction. I thought I wanted it to go somewhere but it flowed naturally, it progressed at its own pace and came out of me almost effortlessly, and that's normally not a good thing, but my best friend read it and said it was pretty good so I decided to post this without hesitation. I think this is good enough for you but in case it isn't, please let me know — bad feedback is better than no feedback.
> 
> I don't know, it's 12:21 and I want to post this, I feel like I should so I'm going to anyway. I hope you like it though.

"What's wrong with you?" Kelley rolls her eyes at her girlfriend.  
"I've been trying to figure that out but I still haven't got a solid answer" Bella answers with fake seriousness.

She gets a laugh out of everyone else but her pissed off girl.

"I don't want her close to us" She's serious now.  
"Come on! She's no one. I invited her because the kids miss her" Bella puts Tobin's stuff down to walk the short distance to her pouty girl. She holds her by her waist and kisses her pouty lips in the most loving way possible.

They were currently inside the hotel room number 517, Bella's and Tobin's room. They were rooming together for this camp and Tobin couldn't be happier. She feels totally comfortable around the younger middie. They have grown to like each other swiftly, they feel like they've known each other and have being friends for the longest time.

Tobin and the twins were unpacking the midfielder's bags and joking around with Tobin's luggage. They were having a blast.

"She's in love with you" Kelley turns the other way and Tobin keeps a close eye on the exchange.  
"And I'm in love with you" Bella says both soothingly and smoothly. She knows her way around the dorky defender, that's for sure.  
"Why would you want her at our party, then?" Kelley almost broke with the last comment. Almost.  
"She misses the kids" She rubs Kelley's arms and kisses her neck, breaking her façade slowly but surely.

That's when Tobin decided to intervene.

"Alright kids, let's go" She stops with her unpacking activities and pushes the twins out of the room when she sees temperature is rising because of the young couple. "We'll be downstairs if you need us" She avoids making eye contact with her friends on the way out but she heard a laugh from the tallest.  
"Told you she would babysit in return" It's the last thing Tobin hears before shutting the door, keeping the kids from being traumatised.

"Are they always like that around you?"  
"Like what?" She jumps, startled. When she turns around her eyes soften up.  
"Carli" She hugs her Capitan. She has missed her mentor.  
"My fellow Jersey girl" Carli hugs her back just as tight, trying to show her just how much she's missed her. "How are you?"  
"Excited to be back" Tobin pulls out from the embrace and takes a step back, holding the twins' hands in hers again.  
"We're excited to have you back" Carli looks deeply into her eyes and suddenly, she feels like crying. "Did you missed us at all out there overseas?"

Tobin cracks up now. She did missed her.  
"Absolutely not" She gets a pat on the arm.  
"I missed you too"

\- - - - -

"Hey! Mimi-me's!" Ashlyn goes and grabs a running Asher and Alex when straight to Ali.  
"Hey, look at that, the two most beautiful Alex's in one place" Tobin compliments two blushing girls and takes a seat.  
"Stop, Tobs, you're making us blush" Ali tickles the little girl and sits next to her. "Are you allowed to work out with us today?"  
"I think so"  
"I bet her lazy ass wants to stay- Ouch!" Ash gets a slap on the arm by Krieger.  
"Language, Harris" She squints at her girlfriend. Ashlyn locks eyes with the little boy she's holding and rolls her eyes.  
"You don't mind me saying that right?" Asher shakes his head smiling at her. "I didn't think so"

Tobin silently observes the exchange. It's obvious how comfortable and happy they are around the twins. They're used to them, they love them, the whole team does, she knows it.

"Toby, do you want to share pancakes with me?"  
"Yeah Lex, let's go get some" Tobin grabs Alexandria from Ali's arms and walks to the breakfast bar with her. When she turns around to keep an eye on the boy, she sees him smiling lovingly at Ashlyn, who's smiling lovingly right back. They locked eyes, they were having they're own little moment. "What do you want?"

When Little Alex was about to answer, she looked away and opened her sweet hazel eyes in shock. She opened her arms and moved up and down on Tobin's arms. Tobin turned to see what had her so excited and she couldn't believe it one bit.

Alex.

"Oh who do we have here?! The girl with the prettiest name on the whole wide world?!" Alex grabbed little Alex from Tobin's arms and kisses the girl's face. "How are you, you cutie pie?"

Tobin cleared her throat, breaking their little contact.

"Oh, sorry Tobs, here ya go" She gave the small child one last kiss and put her down. The girl stood next to Tobin grabbing her leggings instinctively. "I just get excited every time I see this little model"  
"It's Tobin" It's the only thing she said to her.

"Auntie Tobin I want chocolate chip pancakes!" Little Alex pulls on her leggings and points to the bufe.  
"How many, kiddo?" Alex makes herself scares and takes a seat next to Syd in a table far from Tobin's.

"She completely hates me"  
"I thought we already knew that. Ouch" Megan rubs her arm where Allie hit her.  
"She doesn't hate you, she's just afraid you'll hurt her again." Allie explains.

Sydney, Megan, Allie and Alex were seated at the back of the room, looking at Tobin's table and all the smiley faces on it.  
"She smiles to everyone else but me"  
"We knew that would happen, remember Al?"  
"Yeah, no, I know Pinoe but... I don't know. I want her to see me, really see me, just like she used to. I want her to see me and forgive me and love me and take me back. I want her back"  
"I don't think that's the best idea" Pinoe says her thoughts out loud for the first time to her friend, who was looking at her with a betrayed expression on her face.  
"What do you mean?" Alex asks just above a whisper.  
"I think you've both been so hurt by this whole situation that I think it's best if you just..." She takes a minute for her words to settle in. She gives her a moment to ready herself. "Move on" Alex's breath hitched on her throat. She couldn't believe it.

A new fire burned behind her eyes. She was determined to prove her, and anyone else who doubted her, wrong.

"I'll get her back. I've changed and I won't hurt her anymore, that's a promise" She stood up and stormed out of the room. That's not what the blonde haired midfielder wanted, but the point did came across so she could only hope Alex to understand her reasons and wait.

"Pinoe-"  
"No, Syd, not now. I don't wanna know" She kept eating her food after that.

In the other side of the room, Ali, Ashlyn, Tobin, Moe and the kids were having a blast.

The kids were on Ashlyn's and Tobin's lap — Asher with Ashlyn, Lexa with Tobin.

"Lexa, eat that strawberry before it falls to the floor, honey" Ali instructs motherly.  
"Okay auntie Ali" She does what she's told and goes back to paying attention to the fun conversation about soccer and the team.  
"We have won three world cups!" Asher puts his hands up in celebration.  
"Yes we have, Ashy" Tobin rubs his head.  
"And we'll win another one in three years, right Toby?" Lexa joined in.  
"Oh, for sure. We want four stars in that jersey" Tobin pokes her chest right where the US Soccer's logo is plastered on her kid-size black jersey that reads «West 15» on the back.

She laughed and tickled Tobin, that tickled right back. Before they knew it, everyone was tickling each other and it became the cutest tickle fight in USWNT history.

"Hey, what are you doing to my precious children?!" Bella faked being insulted. "This is outrageous!" Everyone stopped to look at her. "I want some too" she jumped to action and joined Tobin on tickling her daughter.

"Children, children, stop" Kelley calmly tried to stop them. Then, Jill walked in.  
"Everyone!" That made them stop. "Welcome back conference in 5 everybody!"

And with that she walked out.

Ashlyn helped Bella to out two tables together to make a larger one so all of them can sit together and try to eat their breakfast before team conference in 5 minutes. They were shoving food down their throats shamelessly.

"Babe, slow down" Kelley laughed and kissed Belle's cheek after wiping some food out of her face. She was devouring her pancakes. Kelley shook her head and went back to eating her food, her smile as wide as ever. «She has it bad for Bella, I just hope she's careful» Tobin thought.

"Mom"  
"Yeah baby"  
"What will we do while you train?" Asher jumped from Ashlyn's lap to Ali's, in front of her mom. Ali took him happily.  
"I don't know, probably draw with the team nanny, and do homework, and have fun. I don't know, whatever you want I guess"  
"But can't aunt Toby stay with us? She's not training with you right?" He looked hopeful.

Bella smiled at him and shook her head. "Who told you she's not training with us?"  
"We've never seen her train with you" Lexa shrugs.  
"She's right" Kelley agrees with them. They're making sense.  
"Yeah she hasn't but because she has been overseas, remember? She was in Paris"  
"Oh, like the tower!" Asher adds excitedly.  
"Yeah, like the Eiffel tower, exactly. That's in Paris too. But now she's back and she'll be training with us again" Kelley intervenes, locking eyes with her friend, whom she's missed.

"Time to get going, ladies!" Jill amounces the end of their breakfast and their happy little moment.

\- - - - -

The meeting had gone great so far, everyone's having fun and Jill wanted to make sure everyone had a good laugh before focusing on the important stuff.

"So, yeah, we all know Amy, A-Rod is back" Everyone cheered and hollared. "Yeah, it's always amazing to have her back on the pitch" They cheered again. "Amy, wanna say something to your biggest fans?" Jill got a laugh out of everyone. Amy smiled at Tobin (who's currently sitting at her right) and Lauren (at her left) and got up.

Once she stood, the room exploded into a ball or cheering, laughed and cat-calling. Names were called, things were screamed at her, clapping and laughing were the background sound. Everyone was definitely excited to have her back.

After a few more seconds of that utter mess, they shut up and dialed down to hear Amy's words.

"Hey guys" She said with a funny voice. "I know none of you can live without me so, you can breathe now" She tried to sound as serious as possible, but she was barely holding on. "And you all missed all this hotness" she did a little seductive spin and got a new round of cat-calls. Pinoe's was the loudest, as usual, yelling «I want me a piece of that ass, A-Rod!» drowning everyone else's shouts. "Thanks Pinoe, you've always been my favorite" She winked at the blonde. "Yeah, like I said, I know all of you missed all this hotness so, you're welcome" She did a little bow and got everyone laughing again. «Oh, Christ, thanks for this, really. I missed them. Thank You» Tobin thought. "Yeah, let's go, let's keep going and it's always amazing to be back" This time, she spoke from the heart, pure heart, no joke. She got an ovation, kisses, I-love-you's, and all kids of demonstrations of their love for the blonde. «That's A-Rod for you, everybody», Tobin thought, «loved and admired by everyone, including her peers and bosses» She turned to see Dawn smiling proudly at her best friend.

The things is that Dawn has always been like the spiritual guide of the team. She has always been there for everyone and everyone knew she was there if needed for more than training emergencies. She was a friendly reminder that even if taking care of them was the crew's job, they were the best group of people to have habited the Earth, and they were willing to go the extra mile to assure their well being. They wanted and needed them to be complete when they stepped onto the pitch, they wanted them to be happy, they wanted them to be their friends, all of them, but Dawn was the best, by far.

Dawn was the first one to hear Tobin's confession. She was the first person in the world who heard Tobin say she loved Alex. She had listened carefully without judging, she heard her and supported her, she held her hand and hugged her. Dawn was definitely Tobin's second mom. She admires the hell out of her. Also, she was one of the first people to know Tobin liked girls.

Tobin trusted her coaches with all her soul, and loved Dawn with all her heart.

"Well, you can sit down please, no more of that" Coach Ellis faked gagging and shoot a funny look Amy's way. "Well, also back we have the amazing, more matured, Queen of the Nutmegs, juggling expert, Tobin «Gift to the ladies» Heath!" If her teammates and crew were loud for Any, they were overly ecstatic for Tobin. They yelled louder, clapped faster, stood and shot loving glares her way. They did missed her.

And she missed them.

Tobin had a good interpersonal relationship with each and every one of the people inside that room. She is a people person. She's friends with everybody she meets everywhere she goes because there's something captivating about her that makes everyone fall easily in love with her in a heartbeat without second-guessing or doubt. She has this thing about her that makes her extremely appealing to everyone. She's loved by everyone. She has earned their love and respect, she deserves it.

"Guys come on!" She tried to stop them but they only cheered louder. She was blushing furiously.

"Tobin, please, take it away"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts, wishes and predictions on the comments section. You'll see more Talex in the next 2 chapters because Tobin will be telling someone all of her deepest secrets. Also, you'll get to know more about the lives of Kelley and Krashlyn and several different characters. If you didn't catch my confession last week, I have dyslexia so please be merciful, this is a challenge for me, my fucked-up brain makes this extremely difficult for me :) 
> 
> I think that's about it. So, good day/night and hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Be kind to one another, bye.


	16. Love by Lana del Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Focused on both Tobin's life and Kelley's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's another chapter. This is like her than the previous one but I still feel like something's missing. I'll be posting another one very soon, like before the weekend. I'm vacationing in the Caribbean but bored as fuck hehe, so I'll use this time to post as many chapters as I can, but my teacher hasn't helped me so you'll see a few more mistakes than usual so be prepared and patient.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this.

"Yo' stop" After some laughs, people finally kept their voices to a minimum so she could give her speech. «Why am I talking in public like this? I can't. Oh God I'm sweating» She swiped the palm of her hands on the back of her leggings and cleared her dry throat.

"Go, Tobs" Amy encouraged her. Tobin looked down and nodded. «No shame, this is my family for God's sake!»

"Sup you guys?" She got a variety of different answers from her little crowd. "Good" she giggled a little, scratched the back of her neck and cleared her throat again. "Well, y'all know I've been gone for a long time, so it was time for me to come home." Everyone cheered and Amy and Kelley (the two girls she had next to her) grabbed her hands and she got a playful slap on the but from Ashlyn, who was sitting behind her. "Yeah, I know. Sorry if you died a little while I was gone, I know I'm like oxygen to you people"  
"Hey that's my joke! Get your own" They had everyone borderline hysterical. They've always known how to get a good laugh from a crowd. From this crowd.  
"Shut up A-Rod" the room went kinda quiet again, quiet enough. "Yeah, no, I'm back. I'm back for real. I won't leave again, I'm happy being back here with all of you and I hope you're happy me being back with you" She looked around to all the familiar faces that had been there for her for all these years, that have changed her in some way. Then, she saw Alex. "Things are different now, I'm different. I changed and learned a lot from France, on and off the field. I'm a better person now and I'm more confident and aware of my abilities and capacities. I changed because I had to" She was giving her speech confidently, her eyes never leaving Alex's blue ones. "I was forced to because when a shark stops swimming, it dies, and I was stuck for sure. I left and learned more things about myself that I thought I would. Things I like, things I don't, things I wanna do, things I don't. Things I can, things I can't." She moved her eyes to Lauren. "I changed for you guys, so you would be proud of me" She looked at Amy. "I know you all knew I wasn't very happy before I left, but I'm in a happy place now, I'm truly happy. Something I haven't been in very long" She laughed to make the air a bit lighter again. "I'm happy guys, I hope you see that and understand why I left you for so long without saying goodbye and why I didn't have that much of a contact with you"

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and sat. Her hands were shaking and her hands were sweating. She didn't like speaking her mind like that, she felt like she was in high school again, in some class upfront, talking about the latest assignment.

"You did amazing, honey" Lauren hugged her.  
"Yes you did" Amy soon hugged her too.

Kelley just gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, I need to talk to you later" Kelley whispered just in time before Jill began her lecture again.

"Thank you, Tobin, that was beautiful. Okay, moving on, we have another international player, we have Laure Bolleau in our lines, she'll be training with us today and tomorrow. And Bella forced me to remember you that she's having a house warming party once we're done with this camp" She rolled her eyes and read her speech on her computer. "Oh, and remember this is a 10-day camp, Harris" She sees her through her thick paste glasses, "not a 5-day camp, don't be lazy" Everyone laughed again and Ash shrugged. "Okay, the plan for today is first block of the day, warm up at the gym. Some weightlifting, some cardio, some good exercise. Lunch. Then, second block, you'll be out on the pitch, we'll work of your soccer skills, first scrimmage game with Amy and Tobin back, that should be fun" Some whistled, other clapped. "We'll see if miss Paris Saint-Germain improved at all" She winked at the midfielder. "After that, diner and because we've all had a rough couple of days, you have the night off after 6. It's 7:40 now, lunch at noon, at the pitch from 1 to 5, diner until 6, out until 9. Don't make me regret giving you the night off, bye. Let's go train"

Everyone stood up after being dismissed by Coach Jill but stayed at he conference room. They formed groups to start discussing team's activities after diner.

"Let's go play bowling!" Moe animatedly said.  
"No, Moe, ugh, not that. Maybe we can go have a simple drink" Alyssa offered instead.  
"Probably not a good idea" Cap throws that option away.  
"Yeah, no, I can't have drinks with you so it'd be unfair"  
"Also because we have to be up really early in the morning to train, West?"  
"Yeah sure, that too Cap" Bella opened her eyes wide and hid herself behind her girlfriend.  
"Maybe just movie time?" Allie joined the conversation, leaving her prior group which included Alex.  
"Sure, that'd be great" Tobin agrees.

Everyone seem to agree.

"So, team movie night?" Ali left the question open for everyone.  
"All of us, watching movies together" Sydney made sure to emphasize the word «all»  
«This could be my time to talk to Tobin again» Alex was hopeful but it was naive of her to think she'll go past the troops.

"I'm in" «Oh Alex, it would've been better if you just... Just shut up please, stay quiet» Sydney thought.  
"I'm in too" «Thank God for Chris» Sydney thought and grabbed her phone to shoot Alex a message.

Syd: Al, you idiot! U need to lay low until the hangout!!!! Don't draw attention to yourself or else T will say no. Just leave it to me.

She looked up and saw Alex read it, when she looked up, she nodded. «Alright, it's on!» She thought.

"Well, if Chris is in, I'm in" Tobin shrugs and decided to go along with it.  
"Yay!" Chris hugged the midfielder and ran to JJ to wake her up from her phone.

"Okay, done. At my room at 7 with snacks and movie options. Also, it's a BYOBAP party" Ashlyn anonouces and takes Ali's hand. Everyone's waiting for her to explain what exactly what that word means but she seemed to have no intention to do so, so Pinoe took it away. As usual.  
"What the fuck is that?!" She yelled from the back of the room, where she stood charging her phone.  
"Bring Your Own Blankets And Pillows, if you don't, your ass will meet the floor and the floor will meet your ass. No one's allowed on my bed, you bitches" Everyone laughed and agreed.

They were walking out of the room, they broke into little groups, engaged in their own conversations, oblivious of the conversations around them. Back to the madness.

\- - - - -

They got on the bus and quickly chose their seats. Lauren and Amy sat together, Kelley and Bella, Ashlyn and Ali, Sydney and Alex, Tobin and Laure, you get the picture.

Alex and Sydney sat right next to Tobin and Laure on purpose, but Lauren and Amy (sitting in front of the middie and french defender) and Ashlyn and Ali (behind them) had their backs.

Once everyone was sitting the bus took off in a hurry. The drive wasn't that long to the stadium but they were already late.

"Careful driver, you're carrying priceless merchandise here!" Bella shouted from her seat, behind Ash and Ali.  
"Yeah, but it sure ain't you!"  
"Shut up Harris" They kneeled on their seats and began wrestling each other.

"Ashlyn!"  
"Belle!" Their girlfriends said in unison while trying to break their fight up.  
"Stop that, it's embarrassing" Tobin chuckled.

The pair stopped fighting to turn to see the endangered midfielder.

"Oh yeah, Ronda fucking Rousey? Let's go then" Ashlyn grabbed Tobin by her shoulders and brought her up to be chocked by Bella, who was now standing on her seat, hovering over Ashlyn's. Ashlyn took the chance to ruffle Tobin's hair and tickle her a little.  
"Dude, what the fuck?! What are you doing!" Tobin said almost out of breath, trying to break loose from Bella's hold on her neck. "Can't breathe!"  
"But your ass sure can complain, isn't that right Heath?"  
"What's up, Tobin? Can't take the Heath?" Everyone stopped and stared. Every pair of eyes was on the young midfielder. She looked around confused. "What?" She frowned.

They kept quiet until Kelley grabbed Bella's arm and carresed it softly. "Baby that was horrible"  
The whole bus was laughing hysterically. "Horrible" Ashlyn agrees while slapping her knees and grabbing her stomach. Bella rolled her eyes.  
"Sure, like y'all are fucking comedians" Tobin saw her opportunity while her both offenders were distracted and punched Bella really hard on her arm. "Ouch dude!"  
"You can't take the Heath, bro" Tobin did make everyone laugh at her joke and Bella opened her eyes in shock, then, her expression changed for one of incredibility.  
"Oh, sure, but you laugh at that. That's the same fucking joke!" She muttered.  
"But it's funny when she says it honey" Kelley kissed her cheek. Bella, pouting like a kid, rolled her eyes, frowned her brows and went back to her seat, deflated.

"Bro, you're acting like Asher when we told him he had to take the little people's bus. Grow up" Ashlyn taunted her.  
"I have" Bella said but her words didn't match her attitude. They started making ugly faces at each other, of course, because that's not unmature at all.

\- - - - -

"Hey, Tobs, can I talk to you for a minute?" Kelley interrupts her conversation with Christen and Crystal to take her aside to talk.  
"Yeah, sure, a minute you guys" Kelley grabs her hand and takes her far from the other, drinking water from her Gatorade bottle. "Shoot" Tobin says after wiping her mouth and putting the bottle down.

They were on a break between drills, so everyone was scattered around talking, drinking water, joking around, doing whatever.

When Tobin turned around to see what Kel was looking at, she saw Bella, Laure, Pinoe and Ashlyn playing with the twins on the pitch. They had the biggest smiles ever and sooner than later, other players started joining them.

Tobin chuckled a little. "I never thought this it's what would be waiting for me but it's only been like 6 hours and I love them already" She shook her head and squinted her eyes, her grin was so big it took too much of her face, but in a good way.  
"Yeah" Kelley never took her eyes away from her girlfriend a single second since they reached the place she wanted.

Tobin stood and watched. «Wow, it's been like 5 minutes» She let out a little laugh and Kel turned to see her.

"Kelley"  
"What?"  
"You needed to tell me something" Realization crossed through the defender's features and then she changed her expression for a more convinced, more determined one.  
"Yeah. Hmm" Her eyes traveled back to her favorite face, partially for support but also for confirmation, even when she didn't really need any by this point. "I'm marring that girl"

She said those words so carefully, so gently, so softly that she wasn't entirely sure Tobin heard her. Tobin did.

The midfielder tried to stay expressionless but her face betrayed her and shock took over her expression. She quickly morphed her face back and poured all her concerns on her gaze.

She grab the defender's smaller shoulder and forced her to reciprocate her gaze. She frowned a little but it wasn't what she expected.

"Are you sure about it?" She nodded with her shiny eyes. "Well, I'm a little shocked but as long as you're happy I am, and I can tell she makes you happy." Tobin gave her one of those incandescent grins of hers that she wanted to see so much and pulled her into a comforting hug. "Congratulations, Kel" She whispered to her ear.

"Thanks Tobito. Means a lot" They broke the hug and stood side by side facing the dog pile the team made, with Ashlyn as a base. Bella and her kids were the last ones and they couldn't be happier. Kelley saw them with great pride, standing a little straighter now.

"You're ready for that?"  
"Oh, I am. I'm so ready. I want that" Bella was running towards them and reached them soon after Kelley said that last word, sealing the deal.

When she reached her girlfriend, she came in with a kiss on her lips and a smile on her face. Actually, her smile was alike Tobin's — big, gorgeous and contagious.

Bella gave a little peck on the lips and hugged her tight. She then acknowledged the middie standing next to them and went for a high-five.

"You didn't join the fun" Bella says almost out of breath.  
"Yeah, I know sweety but we had things to talk about. Sorry"  
"Bah babe, it's okay. It will be others" She said looking straight into Tobin's eyes with a smirk on, challengingly. She was implying something dangerous for her.

"Oh no. You're not going to-"  
"Tobs, you'll be the base for our team dog piles, at least a few times. Don't think you can just come back and not be part of that beautiful team tradition" Bella says like it's a fact.  
"Eh, I left not so long ago and it wasn't a team tradition" Tobin refutes.  
"Things change, Heath. Change with it of get left behind" Bella goes for a piggyback ride and makes Tobin stumble. "Now, let's go, Jill wants us back"

Tobin wanted to drop the girl, but something made her allow it. She was growing fond of the young midfielder rapidly.

"Baby, give a kiss" Kelley demands sweetly. Bella looks around trying to find a way to kiss her girlfriend from her place on Tobin's shoulders. After a few seconds, she pats Tobin on the shoulder and leans in to talk to her.  
"Tobin, a little help here" She shakes her head but let's her smile grow and faces Kelley and leans in so they're at the same high, kinda. She can hear the kiss and when she straightens her back, she sees that Kelley hasn't opened her eyes. She senses Bella hasn't opened hers either. «This grew quickly» She thinks. "I love you, my heartbeat"  
"I love you, my love" Kelley replies opening her eyes, letting them see the love behind them.

"Ugh, you're too cute" Tobin breaks the little moment running towards the circle their teammates are forming on the middle of the field.  
"Let's go!" Bella commands bringing her fist above their heads.

Once they reach the circle, they grow quiet and get a little serious. A little.

They're standing next to Laure and Ashlyn, so seemed to become good friends.

"Why do you have Belle on your back?" Ashlyn whispers looking forward at their coach, who's standing in the middle of the circle, giving instructions and going over drills and exercises.  
"Why not?" That left everyone to think. Bella had a point.  
"West, get out of Heath's back" Jill ordered and then went back to her speech.

Bella pouted but obeyed. Kelley joined her teammates soon after and hugged her two favorite midfielders by their hips.

"I love you" She whispered to them, they smiled back at her.

"Alright. Let's do the pairings for the attacking drills. Coach Scott"

"Hey, you having fun?" Tobin slipped her arm around Laure's shoulders and leaned in to whisper to her. She got a nod in response. "I'm glad, I want you to have fun here"  
"I am. Your friends are very much fun" Laure whispers back, looking up at her.  
"Then you think you might come back?" She flashes her a toothy grin.  
"If depends" Laure stares deeple into her eyes.  
"On what?"  
"Would you like me to?" «Of course»  
"Of fucking course" Tobin frowns.  
"Oh you never curse" Laure grabs a handful of Tobin's jersey and rests her head on her chest, above her heart and let's the soothing sound seduce her.  
"This is important" Tobin shrugs.

"Heath!" She jumps shocked.  
"What bro?!" She pushes Ashlyn and Laure straightens up.  
"Jill yelled at you for like... Forever before she gave up and left. You getting extra cardio tomorrow though"  
"Ugh" She let go of Laure's shoulders and dropped her shoulders and arms. "She's going to make me run forever"  
"Oh, you bet" Ashlyn's having fun.  
"You're enjoying that, aren't you?"  
"I surely am" She showed her the biggest smirk.

They broke apart and went to their place on the pitch. Tobin wasn't really sure of where to go. "Hey Ash-"  
"You're in with Morgan" She turned to see Morgan but Moe was with Carli.  
"But Morgan is with Carli" She tilts her head to a side, like she does when she's confused.  
"Not that Morgan" Her back was already turned to Tobin but she knew Ash had a big taunting smirk on her stupid little face.

«You'll pay for this, Harris. I'll get you back»  
"Hey, Laure, you're with me" Kelley grabs her hand and takes her away. Laure shrugs at Tobin and gives her a sympathetic look.

She then turns to face Bella, she's still there. "Bro, change with me? Who's your partner?"  
Bella shook her head and made her lips form a fine straight line. "No can do, amiga. I'm with my best friend and she won't allow it. She'll kill me if I swap partners. Also, when Alex gets frustrated she pours it all out on soccer and things get heated and dangerous" She opened her eyes wide and erratically shakes her head like dismissing bad memories from past experiences.  
"Ugh, can't be worse" Tobin dropped her shoulders lower.  
"Toby, are you ready? If we're not ready when Jill gives the go she'll make us stay for extra cardio" Alex comes out of thin air, startling them.  
"Who's your best friend? I'll fucking pay you"  
"Mal" Bella whispers back.  
"Oh, nevermind. She won't do it" Tobin knows Mal's as stubborn as her mentor.  
"Do what?" Alex interrupts, letting them know she can hear everything.

Tobin sighs with resignation and shakes her head. "Let's go, but it's Tobin. Actually, it's Heath" She starts to walk but Alex's grab on her arm force her to stop.  
"Are you making me call you Heath?" «It does sound a little stupid» She sighs again.  
"Just don't call me Toby. Call me Tobin" She stares back at the forward. Alex swallows a gulp, being under Tobin's gaze is always a ride. It's always stimulating. Nerve-racking.  
"Sure" Tobin grabs Alex's hand to push it away but the contact sent chills down Alex's spine and a shot of electricity that traveled through her whole body.

«I've missed her touch with all my heart»

\- - - - -

"Alright, everyone gather round" Jill shouted from the sideline. "Quick!" Everyone eventually reached her and stood, ready to listen. Some were taking the vests out, some had already holding them in their hands, some threw them away the second the whistle was blown. One hell of a scrimmage game. "Good game out there, you played it like it was a cup game against one of our rivals. You still made mistakes, so let's break this practice's results down, shall we? Defense: you were quick and smart, and you were always perfectly placed to cut the offense's attack early, but you need to work on your chance of pace and the chances you create for your offense. Counterattacks are vital in soccer" She takes a look at her «observation notebook»; That's a fucking diary», Bella had made fun in the past. "Midfield: You had a lot of well-placed technical touches and your ball control is infallible, but your connection with the forwards is completely off. It's inexistent" She was intensely looking at Tobin while saying that. She wasn't off, her connection with Alex on the field was one of the casualties their war had left behind. "Forwards: Great finishing and great first touch but you hardly connect with the midfield. You assist other forwards and score goals and create chances for other forwards to take advantage of, but you don't give out excelling midfielder any purpose. You're not taking advantage of those rapid, light feet" Alex was the new target for Jill's intimidating eyes. "Goalkeepers: You did good. You held your ground against top notch forwards and didn't allowed too many goals, but one goals is too much and you did allowed a few stoppable goals. Some, I understand, are unstoppables, like that one kick from my kid" She winked at West. «My kid?» Tobin frowned deeply and tilted her head in confusion. "but you need to stop most of their kicks if not all. You need to try to stop them all and be smart about your placement. Your reflexed were delightful, nevertheless." She checked her notebook one more time to see if there was something else that needed to be said but couldn't find anything. "Alright, I think that's all" Everybody sighed in relief. They busted their asses today. "Yeah yeah, don't complain too much. Oh, before you go hit the showers, cause you need it" She fakes a disgusted face. "There's one more thing. Based on today's results you'll get a new or the same partner tomorrow for the whole day. At the gym, at the pitch and late activities, you'll be with your partner, no exceptions. I'll talk to the other coaches to see who do we pair with whom. No complais and no changing partners! If mentioned rules were to be broken, you'll be sure to receive extra cardio after training sessions. I'll maybe throw in the multistage fitness test to see what happens, so don't dare me. That's all, be quick showering and changing. You're dismissed."

Tobin knew what's coming. She'll be partneref up with Alex. «I don't know what Your plan is with all of this but I'll obey. Jeremiah 29:11. Romans 8:28. All for the good» Tobin silently prayed.

"Alex will be your partner tomorrow, hands down" Pinoe tells her out of the blue, walking to the locker room.  
"Ugh, don't you think I know? I don't want it" Tobin says exhausted.  
"I know, I know, it's just that your connection used to be so fucking evident and strong and now it's completely gone, it's dead, so it's super evident something happened and Jill will try to fix it before the She Believes Cup. I can feel it" Pinoe stopped her and took her to a side to talk without having extra ears paying attention to their conversation.

Tobin rubbed her temples trying to appease the terrible headache she feels coming. By the time she opens her eyes and looks up, Pinoe is biding her tongue to avoid saying something else.

"What?"  
"What what?" «Why is Pinoe nervous?» "Why are you frowning?"  
"Why are you asking too many questions?" The blonde haired girl stopped. Tobin could almost hear her think because of the girl's intensity. "Pinoe is there something wrong?"  
"Do you want to get back together with Alex?" She said in one breath, all too quickly, like verbal vomit.  
"No" She's takes aback by the question at first but doesn't hesitate to say no. She doesn't.

The girl's whole semblance seemed to change. She took a deep breath and hugged her for a second.  
"Thanks God"  
"Sorry?" Tobin's definitely confused now. "I thought you were friends with her and-"  
"I am" she's quick on interrupting her. "I am, I'm her friend and yours, and be sure I'm your friend and her friend, I think you should stick only to a professional relationship for now. I think it's for the best and I'm glad you think so too" She was quick to explain. She had a point.  
"I do" Tobin nodded and thought the conversation was over, so she started walking again.

Pinoe had one other thing to say, but I guess that'll have to wait. «In another time», she tells herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?
> 
> Bye guys, have a nice day/night and be kind to one another.


	17. House of the Rising Sun by The Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs for today's chapter:  
> House of the Rising Sun by The Animals.  
> All Time Low by Jon B (Immediately after)  
> True Colors (you can either play the original or Glee's cover, I used Glee's cover)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter.
> 
> Have fun!

"Hey, what's up?" Bella asks her lightly. Tobin was fighting a headache with all she had in her. She was loosing the fight.  
"Nothing, I just... I just need to rest and relax" She grabbed all she needed quickly and went for the showers. She needs to be alone.

She reaches the showers in a second and chooses an empty one, far from the others. She started showering, allowing her sored muscles to relax under the continuous flow of cold water. Every drop made Tobin feel like she could breathe a little better, a little easier.

She threw her head back. «It's been a long day and it's only 5 p.m»

She heard petty bickering going on around her but her ears were ringing too much to actually understand anything they were saying. She wanted to scape again.

Her mood has become as volatile as a dangerous chemical. "Ten minutes guys!" Kling announced. Tobin sighed.

After some shampoo, conditioner, soap and scrubbing she felt brand new, like a person again. Cold showers always helped her.

«Back to the old ways, Heath? Stressing over her» she shook her head and turn the water off.

"Hey" she heard from her side when she was walking back to her locker.  
"Hey" she replied once she saw who it was. She tried to fake a smile but the forward knew better.  
"Why are you giving me a fake smile, Tobs? What's going on?" Chris gave her a concerned look and took a step closer to her. Tobin felt uncomfortable under Christen's gaze, also being so close to her with only a thin towel covering her soaking wet body.

Suddenly, she felt the need to adjust her towel and fix her damp hair a little. She applied more force on her grip, grabbing her towel harder and tighter to her body.  
"Nothing's going on, Pressy. I don't know what you're talking about" One would think Tobin would be a great liar with all of that experience she's gartered from all those years chasing Alex and lying for her, but boy, one would be wrong. At least she wasn't good at lying to the girl standing right in front of her with concerned grey eyes.  
"I know something's not right and I know you're lying but I'll let it slip... For now" She squinted her eyes at her and took a step back, putting some much needed distance between her and the anxious girl in front of her. "Anyways, that's not why I came here for" she flipped her perfect hair from one side to the other in a perfectly executed movement. "I wanted to ask you if you could sit with me on the bus and hang out with me before movie time" Tobin saw Chris intertwine her fingers change her weight from one foot to another.  
"I would love to" She smiled.  
"I know you probably want to be with Laure but I wanted to talk about something important and I want to know your opinion on something and I wanted to spend some quality time with you since it's been so long since-" Tobin laughed and extended a hand.  
"Yo', Pressy, I said it's fine. I would love to" She repeated and gave her a smile — a genuine one this time.

She got a smile back.  
"You can tell Laure to join us if you want, I just wanna talk. I actually like her"  
"That's not surprising at all, Pressy, you'd get along with the devil. You're too nice" She got a playful push from the California native.  
"I'm not!" She acted all insulted but she was blushing furiously.  
"Whatever you say, cinnamon roll" She knew Chris was called that a lot by the fans and the media, and she also knew Chris gets all shy and blushy when she's called that. She wanted to see just how red she could make her get.  
"Oh, shut it, Heath. Don't make me regret asking you" She tried to hide her grin and her embarrassed but failed to do so.  
"Oh, you won't" She winked at her and left. She needs to get ready if she doesn't want to be left behind. The bus will leave without her, she learned that the hard way.

She was getting ready, putting on her shirt when Chris walked by pass her, not without saying the following words, making Tobin's face break into the biggest grin of the day.  
"And there isn't such thing as being too nice" She looked back at her for a few seconds and Tobin swears that's the hottest thing she has ever done.

It was something about the way she turned her head to face her, the way she looked up at her through her long eyelashes, the way she smiled with the tip of her tongue between her white teeth, the way she talked. Something.

She shook her head, shot those thoughts down, and resumed her task.

Dressed and ready, she walked out of the locker room to find Laure. She was a few feet from her, talking excitedly to Pinoe and Ashlyn. "What the-"  
"Hello amore! Rapinoe your friend asked me to be her bus buddy or something alike. Can I sit with her?" «Well, that makes it easier for me.»  
"Yeah, sure. You seem to be very friendly with..."  
"Tu es jalouse?" (Are you jealous?) Laure frowns but has a playful look on her face.  
"I am not! No. I-"  
"Tu es jalouse." She says fakely and playfully shocked.  
"Je ne suis pas jaloux!" (I'm not jealous) Laure is laughing hysterically to the point of crying but Tobin doesn't think is funny at all. She crosses her arms and takes a step back.  
"Amore... Don't... Jalouse" She tried to say between chuckles and tears, and tried to caress her face but Tobin moved away. That only made Laure laugh harder.  
"Oh don't, please" she brought her hand up to make her stop. "Stop, really. Don't do that. I'm not" She frowned and looked away.  
"Aw, mi amore" She did get to caress Tobin's face now, she stepped closer to the pouting girl and tried to lock stares but Tobin's eyes were focused far from her. "Look at me"  
"No" She frowned deeply. Laure kept her touch light on her face. She was breaking.  
"Look at me, please" The french defender whispered and got what she wanted. She calmed herself down enough to be able to talk to Tobin without shedding tears. "I am being friends with them because you're friends. I don't want to make you jealous"  
"I'm not" She stop her touch on the girl's skin and took a small step back.  
"Okay, but if you were it is okay. We are not used to be just friends" Tobin nods and grabs Laure's elbows.  
"You're extremely smart, did you know that?"  
"I did, yeah" Laure gives her a big smile.  
"Always so humble, Bolleau. Whatever, you can go sit with Pinoe, she's cool. I'm glad you're getting along with the team" She smiled. She smiled back. "I like it when you smile"  
"I like it when you smile" Emphasize on «you».

\- - - - -

«Where's Press?»  
Tobin's stepping into the bus, searching for a pair of grey eyes within the crowd. She finds what she's looking for at the back of the bus, waiting for her arrival.

"Hey you" Tobin plops down next to her.  
"Hey you" Christen greets her.  
"So, you missed me" Tobin smiles.  
"No"  
"Sorry, that wasn't a question" She chuckled a little and faces the other way, to where JJ is sitting alone with her face glued to her phone. She rolls her eyes once she's facing the midfielder again. "What's going on?" Tobin tries to catch on.  
"I hate it when Julie's like that... Obsessing over the phone, not talking to anybody, not looking up for even a minute. It's exhausting" She rolls her eyes again but smiles to her. "I'm sorry, we're not here to talk about Jul"  
"Oh yeah, about that. What are we here to talk about?" Tobin asks curiously.

Tobin sees panic taking over Christen's expression. «Jesus Christ, I knew I'd have to tell her soon but I thought I'd have more time!» Press thought.

She calmed her mind, took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"Yeah, well. I..." She looked away from Tobin's attending eyes and checked that no one was eavesdropping on their conversation. "I-" she moved her eyes back at Tobin and cleared her throat one more time. "I figured something out while you were gone and I feel like I need to tell you first than anyone else. I mean, I have told some teammates but only a few. Only like three people on the team and one that's not on the team" Tobin smiled. She always does that, she always takes forever telling stories because she wastes too much time on the little insignificant details, details that are not insignificant to her but that are insignificant insignificant to everyone else. She realizes Tobin's not really paying attention so she frowns her brows and squints at her. "What?" Tobin shakes her head, her smile staying big in her face. "Okay..." She says unsure. "Whatever. Okay, so, I figured something out, something that had never accorded to me until a few months ago. Something important" «Oh dear God what's going on?» Tobin's the one panicking now. «Is she in love with me?No Tobin, that's too narcissistic. She could be telling me she wants to play overseas like me and wants some advice, or she could want french classes» "What I'm trying to say is that... I'm..." «Oh God here it comes» Tobin was dreading it. Christen was as freaked out as her. She was sweating and blushing and her hands were shaking. «I'm a mess» Her confession was eating her from the inside. "What I'm saying is that... I'm... I'm bisexual" She was fighting back tears. «Woah, it feels so good to say that out loud»

Christen was panicking hard now. Tobin was completely silent and expressionless. Tears started falling freely from her pleading eyes. «Please say something»

Tobin said no word.

Instead, she hugged her.

She hugged her pouring all her feelings into that innocent gesture. She wanted the California native to feel safe and comforted in her arms. She wanted Chris to feel her love and support through her embrace.

Tobin has no idea of how long they hugged, she just knows she hugged her until she stopped sobbing and her breathing evened out. When Christen decided she had enough, she broke the embrace and sat back on her seat.

She's a mess. Her hair is a little untangled from the hug, her eyes are puffy, both her eyes and nose are red, and her face is wet from all the crying. She said she wouldn't cry.

"I'm sorry"  
"No. Don't apologise, I'm not sorry. I'm happy. I'm excited. I'm honored" She flashed her the biggest grin and held her hand. "I can't believe you trust me with that. I'm honored" Tobin confessed honestly.  
"I felt like I had to, you know? And of course I would trust you with that, you're amazing Tobin, you're the best friend one could have and one of my best friends" She smiled through tears and wiped her face. "Sorry for the tears"  
"Nah, no worries. It's cool"  
"Oh, it's not. I'm an ugly crier, I know that. I must look horrible" both laughed but Tobin shook her head in disagreement.  
"Bah, you look as beautiful as always"

That's when Christen broke. Her gaze on her was causing weird biological responses. Her skin broke into goosebumps, she blushed, she felt her internal body temperature go up more than a few degrees and her knees became weak. Good thing she was sitting right now.

"Whatever you say, smooth-talker" She broke their staring contest to find her best friend look intensely at her phone. «He's not going to call, Johnston. He's a dick»

"So, bicurious girl, what's gonna happen now?" Tobin whispered, trying to get her attention again. She succeeded.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, are you telling people? Are you going out with girls? Have you?" Tobin asked all the right questions she had no answer for.  
"I don't know yet. I'm taking it one step at a time. I already told you, so I take it as a win"  
"You should, that's okay. Go at your own rhythm, at you pace, do it on your own terms" She nodded and looked away like processing everything. Christen gave her her space, she knows it's a lot to take in.

"Thanks" Christen whispered.  
"For what?" Tobin turned to face her swiftly.

Her voice was so fragile she wasn't sure Tobin would hear her, but she did. Her face was so close to hers it was distracting. She cleared her throat.

"For not freaking out on me" Tobin laughed loudly making a few teammates turn around, including a very aware Alex. Tobin looked back at the road for a second before letting her eyes fall back on Christen's face.  
"Chris, I'm gay. What would I've done, tell you you're a disgrace?" She laughed a little harder. She wasn't making fun of her, though.  
"I don't know, some lesbians don't like bisexuals" She whispered, trying to keep the volume down.  
"Those are idiots, they don't know what they're talking about. Some pretty little bisexual girl like you broke their hearts and they're traumatised, it has nothing to do with you it has everything to do with them. Don't worry about it" She shrugged and moved her eyes back to the window. They were taking off towards the hotel.

"Everyone's here, right? Who did we leave behind? Whomever is missing say I" Bella (who was the last to get on the bus) asked in her way to her spot next to her favorite pair of eyes. She earned a laugh.  
"Shut up you big idiot, everyone's here. Sit down" Ashlyn yelled at her and sent back to kissing her girlfriend. They do that a lot.  
"Alex's good mood got left behind" Bella whispers Kelley. They were sitting in front of Tobin and Christen, next to Alex and Allie. Alex had a great ear, so if course, she earned a hateful stare. "I love you Al" She forced a smile, scared of what the forward will do to her once this bus arrives at its destination.  
"Don't" Alex warns her and goes back to staring at the passing road.

Tobin was thinking hard about Press's confession. She wanted to let her know something important.

"I'll be here" Tobin's vague words took Christen by surprise and made her furrow her eyebrows. "I'll be here... Whenever you're ready, whenever you want to, I'll be here to support you. I'll be here for when you want to come out to the rest of the team" She explained herself and gave the girl a small nod before looking back at the road.

And just like that, Christen was fighting back tears once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Please let me know!!
> 
> Have a great day/night and be kind to one another. Bye!


	18. Jealous by Beyoncé

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more Talex here and more Talex to come! In the next few chapters we'll go over some very important moments and memories from their past together.
> 
> Also, I'm back in the States so... Back to work, back to school. That means, more time between chapters probably. Sorry.
> 
> Who's happy the She Believes Cup started? Woohoo!!

"Hey Christen, wake up" JJ pushed her a little to wake her up. "Hey, Chris, wake up" She applied a little more force. Nothing. "Hey!" She whispered/shouted, trying to wake the sleeping her in-between Tobin's arms up. Both are sound asleep, ignoring the fact that they've arrived at the hotel. They've been here for almost 15 minutes now, still no answer. "Press!" That'll do it.

Julie got tired but trying to wake her up nicely and pushed her and raised her voice, startling the poor girl with frightened eyes.

"What's going on?" Chris was disoriented, looking around trying to take in her surroundings.  
"Hey, sorry, we're here. You and Tobin were super asleep, I've been trying to wake you up for like 15 minutes. Sorry" JJ looked at the clock on her wrist and saw the time. "Come on, we're going to be late for dinner" She said looking at a still sleeping Tobin, holding Press close to her chest; she took a deep breath and looked away. "Wake her up." She said unamused.

"Okay, thanks" Christen whispered thanking her and removed herself from Tobin's grab. Tobin immediately stirred up.  
"What?" Tobin did exactly what Chris did a few seconds ago, confused.  
"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. We're here" Christen whispered to her, connecting her right hand with Tobin's right cheek, trying to calm her down.

That did the trick.

Tobin composed herself and gave Chris a smile, looking at her shiny blueish eyes. «Weren't her eyes grey a second ago?»  
"What?" The darker woman asked.  
"No, nothing. Nothing" Tobin got up, breaking their little contact and grabbing her stuff to walk out. She waited for Christen to do the same and to step out of their seats before following her.

They thanked Billy the driver before stepping out and walking inside the warm hotel. Air outside was cold so it was a nice environment.

It was cozy.

Tobin filled her lungs with the hotel's air and joined the rest of her team in a circle.

"Okay, that's the last one, we're all out of the bus" Carli pointed out. "It's 5:26 now, we have 4 minutes to get ready for dinner so please just drop your bags and come downstairs. You can get ready later. Remember we need this bonding time, it's important" Carli dismissed them and the girls walked towards the elevators in smaller groups. Tobin found Laure close to Pinoe, something she didn't appreciated.

Tobin knows Pinoe is very attractive in every way, physically and personality wise. She's sickeningly charming and has more perseverance in her pinky than anyone else on the team. If she wants a girl, she gets a girl, and Laure was definitely her type of girl.

That made Tobin uncomfortable.

It wasn't uncommon for Pinoe to let heartbroken girls fall on her lap and sob their hearts out. Laure doesn't seem to be that bad but it must have hurt, right? So she's vulnerable, and Pinoe won't hesitate to strive. To jump in on her chance. «I don't like this, she's one of my best friends but Laure's hot and available, and Pinoe's alive and has eyes»

"Hello, ladies. What's up?" Tobin grabbed Laure by her waist and alternated her eyes from Laure's to Pinoe's face.  
"Nothing much, Tobs, just talking. You're staying in what room, Laure?" The blonde ignores her to pour her attention back on the french defender.  
"Not in this hotel, Pinoe, sorry" Tobin snaps.  
"5-B on the other hotel, close to Amy's home. I should be going soon." Laure answers.  
"So you're not staying today for movie night?" Tobin's shooting daggers at Pinoe through her stare but Pinoe is too focused on blue eyes to notice.  
"Unfortunately no, I have to be my room soon" They were waiting for the elevator to arrive empty again.  
"You can stay in my room if you want, or Tobin's or anyone's, you have to stay" «Oh, that's it!»  
"She won't be staying at your room, Megan, thank you." Tobin pulled Laure closer to her flaming body and stepped into the elevator with the smaller girl. "If she wants to, she knows she can stay in my room, but we'll let you know if she decides to stay" Tobin bites.

Frozen in shock, Megan stood there with her wide open eyes and raised blonde eyebrows.

The elevator doors closed, leaving her fellow midfielder behind, making Tobin smile in pride. She got a slap on the arm by Laure.

"Are you crazy?! You were mean to Rapinoe!" Laure's mad. Really mad. Mad and confused. "What would you do that?"  
"I didn't do anything! She was flirting with you, trying to take advantage and I simply defended you!" Tobin brought her arms up and Laure rolled her eyes.  
"She was not doing that Tobin, she was being my friend because you were too busy being friends with everybody else. She was being your friend, keeping me busy, and she was not the only. Ashlyn and Ali and Allie and Alex, they all tried to keep me occupied so you can go have fun and talk to the rest" She rolled her eyes again and faced the doors, crossing her arms. A few crew members and players were inside the elevator with them but they were too busy talking to each other to remember that.

"They did?" «Pinoe, Ash, Ali, Allie and Alex did that? Why Alex?» She took a deep breath and dropped her shoulders. «So that's what instant regret feels like» "I'm sorry"  
"It's not me who you should be saying that to" Laure faced her for a second before letting her eyes fall on the door again.

It was just JJ, Moe, Mal and Rose on the elevator with them.

Ding!  
They have arrived and the elevator doors opened for them. Everyone got out.

"Hey guys, be ready in 5" Tobin tried to smile but she felt too embarrassed. «Did they hear the whole thing?»  
"Yeah!" Mal answers happily, taking Rose's hand in hers and dragging her inside their room.  
"Sure" Moe did the same thing with JJ, who was looking weirdly at Tobin.

«That's odd» She looked behind her from where she stood. "Come on" she took Laure to her room.

When they got in, Bella, Kelley and the kids were already there. "Hey pal! We were leaving already but we can wait for you"  
"Yay!" The twins cheered.  
"Oh, it's okay. You can wait if you want to though" Tobin dropped her bags and signalled Laure to do the same.

Once she did, Tobin ran to her shared bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. After washing her hands and checking herself on the mirror and giving her stamp of approval on her appearance, she walked out to find Laure playing with the twins while Bella and Kelley talked on the other side of the room.

Laure looked extremely cute and Kelley and Bella looked like they were fighting.

"I'm done" Tobin announced getting everyone's attention, making everyone drop their previous actions.  
"Okay, let's go" Bella grabbed her kids and walked out.

Kelley took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. She took another breath and followed her girlfriend out of the room.

"Ready?" Laure nodded in response and followed Tobin outside.

\- - - - -

"Adieu, amore. See you tomorrow" Laure kisses her cheek and starts walking away. She's stopped by Tobin's grab on her bicep.  
"You're leaving?" Laure nodded, signalled at her bag and gave her a sad smile.  
"I'm too tired" It was Tobin's time to nod. "Say bye to your friends for me" She got another nod and kissed Tobin on the cheek again before walking away with her bag hung on her shoulder, leaving Tobin behind to reflect on her previous actions against one of her best friends.

«I need to find Pinoe»

\- - - - -

When she entered the room, all eyes were on Bella and Kelley, who were having a discussion at the back of the room.

She sat down on the table with Ash, Ali, Amy, Lauren and Bella's kids.

"What's going on?" No one on the table drifted their eyes from the arguing couple, not even Tobin, who's sitting between Amy and Lauren.  
"They're fighting for the first time since they started dating" Ali explains.  
"Since forever" Ashlyn adds.  
"God, we're being so insensible! The kids are right there" Ali whispered that last phrase from behind the back of her hand.  
"And they can still hear you from behind your hand" Ashlyn mocked her copying her. She got a slap on the arm and a dangerous look. "Ouch"  
"Mean" Ali sentenced.  
"No-uh" Ashlyn denied.  
"Child" They kept bickering but Tobin was too focused on the two children trying to chop their food to eat it.

"Here, let me help you" Tobin said, changing her seat. Halfway through, she decided she'll do something else. "Here, come on, let's go" She grabbed the kids' plates and scanned the room for an empty table. She found one not too far from their current table and walked towards it, keeping a close eye on the two sets of small legs following her every move. She sat down and made the twins do the same before getting up and walking to their original table to grab her stuff and let them know what she's doing. "I'm taking them over there so they can eat in peace while they work it out. See you later" She announced and walked to the bar, to get something to eat. She decided she was going to eat oatmeal and some fruit. She got everything she needed and walked back to her table. "I'm back"

"Toby, can you help me?" Asher asked her with frustrated puppy eyes. He was having trouble chopping his food.  
"Sure thing little man. Let's see what you have here" Since she was sitting between the two infants, she had easy access to his plate. She started chopping his food when Lexa spoke up.  
"Toby, I need help too" She stopped chopping to face her and then face him.  
"I don't have four hands, guys, I only have two" Tobin said with pleading eyes.

"Need my help?" When Tobin turned towards the origin of the voice, she saw a pair of blue eyes she knew all too well, but she wasn't looking at her, she was looking at the little girl she was leaning over. She had her two arms to each one of little Alex's side, one of those hands on the table was a little too close to Tobin's. She locked eyes with the midfielder for a second before looking back at the small girl, who looked back at her, throwing her head back. She smiled her beautiful smile at the forward and nodded as best as she could at the moment.  
"Please" Then Alex's eyes fell back on Tobin, waiting for approval. Tobin wasn't sure of how to play this. Did she really wanted to sit alone with her and the kids?

She swallowed a lump and nodded, letting Alex take a sit next to Little Alex and start helping her with her dinner.

"Thanks" Lexa said to her with her mouth full and smiled. Tobin couldn't help but to smile watching their matching smiles and looks on their eyes to match their matching names. They're really alike. It might be the name.  
"You're very very welcome, my dear. Let me" She wiped some food out of her face. "There you go" She locked eyes with the midfielder again. This time, she was smiling. «What's happening? Is she smiling at me?» Tobin, after realizing she still had a smile on her face, cleared her throat and looked away, focusing back on the little boy watching adoringly at her. «Well that didn't last long» Alex thought.

She tried to focused on the girl but a certain women was making it hard for her to focus on anything else because of her closeness. «If I reach over Lex, I can touch her» Alex's mind drifted. She looked to the part of Tobin's arm she'd touch if she actually did as she thought before letting her eyes wonder on to a side of her face. «If she knew just how much I've missed her...»  
"Thanks Toby, I don't want more" Asher thanked her and played with his fork.  
"Ha" Alex said out loud and smiled. She heard a fake cough and turned to see Tobin looking at her with a frown on her face. "He calls you Toby" She said as an explanation.

It took Tobin a few seconds but she finally got it. "Oh, yeah they kinda do" She shrugged. "I don't know where they got it from"  
"From auntie Alex!" Asher threw the California native under the bus.  
"Yeah, she always tells us stories about you!" Little Alex added.  
"And her" «Of course he had to say that!» Alex gave herself a mental facepalm.  
"From when you were gone" She adds distractingly, pushing her remaining pieces of food around her place.

Alex look apologetic, pleading almost, Tobin was just curious, not angry.

"She did?" Tobin looked down at the little girl before locking eyes with Alex.  
"Yes, she did. She told us how she met you"  
"In a soccer tournament!" Asher adds excitedly throwing his hands up in celebration for knowing the story too.  
"Yes, and she told us about the first time you played together" Her voice was as she was enlisting something. She left the end of the sentence open for her brother to jump in.  
"You had a play date at her house!"  
"And the first time you held hands" Tobin didn't take her eyes off the woman for one second, so she saw her jump a little when Lexa said those words and quickly covered her mouth.

"Alright! That's enough storytelling for one night" She cleared her throat nervously. "I told you those stories in private" She whispered to them.  
"You told the children about us?" Tobin said with her head tilted to one side.  
"No! No. Just, innocent stuff. Kid-friendly stuff. Friendly stuff" Alex excused herself and hid her shaking hands under the table.

Silence, then, fell over them. The kids were too busy playing with all the things on the table to talk, Tobin was too busy watching Alex, and Alex was too busy scaping from Tobin's uncovering gaze.

«God, she needs to stop looking at me like that» She blushed furiously.

"Hey, thanks for helping with my kids" Bella broke the moment, patting Tobin on the back and caressing her son's hair. "I appreciate it"  
"No problem, dude. I love them"  
"And we love you" Little Alex sure knows how to make Tobin's heart skip a beat. «It's definitely the name» Something about the way she said it made Tobin's heart melt. Maybe it was the way she took her time to say «love», maybe it was the way she emphasized «we» or the way she emphasized «you», saying that last word louder and with a higher tone than the rest; maybe it was just the fact that that cute phrase came out of that cute girl with that cute voice regarding Tobin. Maybe it was all the above.

The reason doesn't matter because whatever reason, it made Tobin smile and almost tear up.

"So cute" Alex whispered. She realized she said that out loud and panicked. No one heard her but Bella.  
"Well, thanks anyway" Bella wasn't in such a great mood, and she sensed everyone knew why.  
"Anytime" Tobin replied. She cleared her throat, locking eyes with her best friend, standing silent at her girlfriend's side with teary eyes. "So, what's up? You wanna take a seat?"  
"No, it's okay, I'll just go right upstairs. See you in a few, come on guys" She made her kids stand up and say her good-byes to Tobin and Alex with a cute pouton their faces.

At first, Tobin thought Kelley would follow her but once Bella was out of sight, she saw the only one following her was Mal.

"What's going on, Kel?"  
"I'll tell you later, Tobs" She said, letting out all the air in her lungs in the process. "Al, can I crash in your room until movie night?" She asked her, barely holding back her burning tears.  
"Sure, here you go" Alex hands her her room key card and giving her a sympathetic, concerned look.  
"Thanks, see you guys later" She said before walking away.

In all the years Tobin has known her, she has never seen Kelley so deflated. She could says the same thing about Bella, but she just met her so...

Anyways, since meeting her, she had not seeing Bella so serious or... stoic. She had always a smile on her face, always goofing around, so the fact that she was like that alarmed Tobin.

"I'm here if you need me!" Tobin was quick to add before Kelley slipped out of the crowded room. She isn't sure the other girl heard her.

A few minutes passed before any one of them did anything, afraid that the moment will slip away through their fingers.

Alex was the one to act first, making a move to leave. Tobin stopped her with a hand on top of hers, sending chills down Alex's spine.

"You... Mmm... I need to talk to you later" Tobin stutters.  
"Oh, well, what's up?" Alex tried to play it off as cool, but she wasn't fooling anyone.  
"Later" She said with more finality in her voice before removing her hand and nodding at her, allowing her to retrieve.  
"Alright. Later. Whenever you're ready" Alex said standing, ready to fly. "I'll see you later?" It was meant to be a statement but it came out more like a question, but she felt relieved to get a nod in response from the midfielder. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Okay, bye then. See you soon" She excused herself and went to her usual table with a racing pulse.

Her heart was beating like crazy and she felt her pulse behind her ears. She was shaking and her knees were weak.

Once she was appropriately seated, she allowed herself to fall back into her chair and smile.

It was progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Tell me :)
> 
> As always, I hope you're doing great and be kind to one another.
> 
> Bye, love you!


	19. Eyes Shut by Years & Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting this sooner like a I said I would but it's been really stressful with my moving to Germany and my classes and all. I'll be posting the next one super soon.
> 
> I hope you like this one but if you don't like a part of it, I can assure you it's there because it needs to be there, everything is there purposely. It'll all make sense a couple of chapters down the road.
> 
> Still, let me know what you think, how you feel and what you wanna see in the comment section, pretty please.

"What's going on with you?" Crystal asked her when she turned in time to catch Alex murmuring something under her breath.  
"The real question would be what's wrong with Tobin" Alex kept a big smile on her blushed face.  
"That, you're right. A few minutes ago I was just talking to Laure and she snapped at me! She has never raised her voice at me or mistreated me at all. It's messed up" Megan finishes her drink and looks up to Alex.  
"She did that?" She frowned and looked back to where the mentioned girl still sat. "Why?"  
"I don't know. She has never done it before. I think she was already upset about something and I was just in the way but it's still wrong" Megan looked back at the girl too.  
"She'll apologize for it, I'm sure" Dunn defended and stood. "I'll go talk to JJ because she's mad at Tobin too but she won't tell me why"  
"She's mad at Tobin?" Alex frowned at the other forward and shook her head. "Why? She hasn't done anything wrong"  
"That's what I said, but anyways I don't know. See ya" She grabbed her stuff and walked away, leaving behind Megan, Syd, Allie and Alex.

They all remained quiet for a few minutes, and Alex allowed her eyes to travel back to their favorite pair of hazel eyes. «She never does anything wrong and somehow everyone's mad at her»

Tobin in that moment turned her head to where she sat, like her stare burnt her. «Oh God she catch us! Look away!» Tobin stood up and walked right towards them. «Did she see me?»

"Hey" She knows that voice, boy, does she knows that voice. It was the voice that made her fall asleep and kept her up at night. It was the voice she dreamed of for 426 days and 427 nights. She kept count. She forced herself not to look at her, though. "Pin, can I talk to you?" «She's not here to talk to me» Alex thought with a mix of relievef and discontent.  
"Sure, what's up?"  
"Can it be somewhere else?" Alex finally allowed herself to face her and saw a very tiny Tobin, like back when they used to fight and she encountered Alex's bad side. «A side of you that's completely gone» Alex reminds herself. Tobin looked like a deer in headlights.

Pinoe knows she's sorry but she won't let her off that easy. She's not really mad though.

"Okay" Megan said sharply and followed her to her empty table. "What's going on?"  
"I'm sorry, really sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, it's was just that... Just that I had a really rough day. I know that's not an excuse but it was like a rollercoaster ride and I had a headache and my legs hurt and-"  
"Tobin, stop. You're giving me a headache" Pinoe stops her on her tracks. "It's okay, I forgive you. It's just that you've never done that before and I don't want you getting used to it" She said with more seriousness, like she was her parent and she was teaching Tobin a lesson. In a way, she was. She has always been like a motherly figure to Tobin, right from when she took her under her wing when Tobin first got on the team, also, she was the one Tobin turned to for answers when she thought she was gay. "We're your family and we love you, so you can't be taking all your problems and frustrations out on us. You need to remember that the next time you feel like you might explode in someone's face, okay?"  
Tobin nodded quickly. "I'm still very sorry" She was giving Pinoe the saddest puppy face of all, the face she makes when she's truly sorry.

She sighed and patted her shoulder. "Don't be, all's forgiven. You need to make up to Laure though, I can't forgive you for her"  
"What about Laure?"  
"Well, you snapped at me because I was paying attention to Laure, and you were alarmed by it because you were not paying attention to Laure yourself. If you don't want anyone else paying attention to her, even though that's unhealthy, you know that right?" Tobin rolled her eyes but nodded. "Okay, just checking. Well, if you don't want anyone else paying attention to her, then pay attention to her yourself, but you can't expect her to be sad and silent all by herself on the background all the time until you remember she's here" «She definitely has a point» Tobin thought. «A very hurtful point.»  
"I'm sorry for that too. I'll make it up to her"  
"Well, I hope you do because she's a great friend. She really loves you"  
Tobin gave her a sad smile. "She does"

\- - - - -

«T: Mi amore»

She bit her lip waiting for an answer.

«Laure: Amore. Tell me»  
Tobin took in a deep breath. «She doesn't hate me», she thought.  
«T: Like you said, I haven't been the best guest nor friend, so I'll make it up to you. I'll ask Jill and we'll leave after we're done training and have fun you and me. What do you say?»

"I need to plan something for Laure" Tobin thinks out loud.  
"What did you say Harry?" Allie looked up from her phone to see her.  
"Oh, nothing. Nothing, just thinking out loud" Tobin looks up from her phone too.  
"Oh, okay" Allie goes back to her conversation with Bati.

They're in Allie's and Alex's room. Alex's is in Ashlyn's and Ali's and Tobin shot them a text asking them to text her when Alex decides to leave so she can follow her actions.

"I can't believe it. She's so clueless!" Kelley walks out of the bathroom and lies between Tobin and Allie, who are laying on Allie's bed.  
"Who is, Kells?" Allie asks distractedly.  
"Isabella, obviously" Kelley answers annoyed and everyone freezes. «I thought she didn't talked about it at all» Tobin thought.  
"Do you wanna tell us why?" Allie looks at Tobin for confirmation from over Kelley and both girls put their phones down. «This must be important if she wants to talk about it» Allie said herself.  
"You can" Tobin added.

Kelley sighed and intertwined her fingers with Tobin's and grabbed Allie's bicep.

"She wants to invite Nina"  
"Who's Nina?" Harry said in unison.  
"Nina Agdal. She's a fucking model who has it bad for her and she invited her to our home!"  
"Your home?" Tobin focused on the single thing Kelley didn't want her to focus on.  
"That's not the fucking point you retarded punk" Kelley spat.  
"Ouch, you uncoordinated hobbo" She spat back.  
"What kind of answer is that, Tobito?" Kelley had a disgusted look on her face that made Tobin brake into laughter.  
"I tried" Tobin shrugs. "Okay, we were talking about Bella's friend Nina"  
"Bella's whore supposed friend Nina. Bella's whore model supposed friend Nina. She's hot and willing and Bella's not dead, she sees how hot she is and I'm scared..."  
"Has she giving you any reason to doubt her or her fidelity to you?" Tobin asks.  
"No" Kelley frowns.  
"Then why do you?" Tobin pointed out.

Kelley thought for a moment and then opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off by Allie.

"Kelley, she must be the most loyal person I know, especially to you" Allie defends her.  
"It's true but-" Kelley tries to add something but Tobin cuts her.  
"How is she loyal, Kell?" She sits up and so does Allie, Kelley doesn't.  
"What?" Kelley crosses her arms and frowns.  
"Tell me how is she a loyal person. What makes you trust and love her" Tobin repeats herself, adding something else for her to enlist.

«She'll see how silly she's being right now without help» the midfielder thought.

"She's altruistic, she'll bend over backwards to help others even if they hate her or mistreat her or don't want their help, even if she doesn't get even a silly thank you in return, she doesn't want anything in return, she does it to help" Kelley doesn't have to think for even a second to enlist the vast number of qualities Bella has. She has tons, to Kelley's adoring eyes. "She loves giving more than receiving, she's the most giving person I know, she gets uncomfortable when you give her anything, witch is insane because everyone loves getting stuff but no, not her" She's not even looking at neither of them, she's looking at the ceiling, all those precious moments with her girlfriend flashing in her mind. "She gives all her money to homeless people, she tips like she's a millionaire and she gives everyone gifts, things that we have fought about because she isn't a fucking millionaire so why would she be spending and giving away that much money" She rolls her light eyes and hides a smile. "Oh, and the gifts? It doesn't need to be expensive, but it's always thoughtful because she's the most thoughtful person I know" She's not hiding her smile now, she chuckled quietly; she had both of her friends smiling along. "She's absolutely clueless, seriously, even for me. She to say she gets distracted easily would be the understatement of the year because what she is is beyond easily distracting. She loves to dance and sing and play music and write music and anything that's considered an art and she's always great at everything. She has little to no self-esteem so she doesn't believe she's any good at anything, even soccer and she's fucking part of the best team, the number one team. She doesn't see just how beautiful she is but she sees the best in everything and everyone and she sees life in colors" She has tears building up. "She changed schools because her best friend didn't want to go to that university alone, after falling in love with her own favorite school, that offered better benefits. She adopted two kids with her best friend so they could have a support system and a loving home" Tears fell freely now. "She took care of me when I was wasted off my ass the first day we met. She writes me poems and love letters and post its with the things she loves about me and words of encouragement, witch she puts everywhere. She cooks and bakes and writes and sings and plays and reads for me because she knows I love it when she does that. If I tell her someone did me wrong, she freaks out and wants to kill them, but at the same time, she's the most forgiving person who has ever habited the Earth. She acts like a kid most of the times but she's the most mature person I know" She sorbed her nose. "And I could go on and on about her never-ending number of qualities that make me love her but I think I need to go apologize to her" Before she finished sitting up, there was a loud noise from the outside of the door followed by loud erratic knocking.

Allie, Tobin and Kelley looked each other in the eyes with confusion. They all shook their heads — they had no idea who was behind that door and they wasn't expecting anyone.

The person causing the noise knocked again and they heard whispers from behind the door.

They all stood up together and opened the door.

When the door was fully opened, they saw Alex and Bella a few steps away talking. Alex was calmed while Bella was shaking, like her heart was beating a thousand times per minute.

When Bella realized the door has been opened and the girls were standing in front of her, she swiftly advanced and took Kelley's hand into hers, locking eyes with her with regret and remorse behind hers. The three other girls besides the fighting couple kept their distance but without being too far, being close, reachable.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did and I'm sorry I was so selfish. I didn't consider your feelings and didn't think of you and didn't see your point. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I invited her without checking in with you because of my own personal reasons and didn't accept yours. I was unmature and stupid" She was fighting tears and rambling like crazy, but she had her girlfriend's undivided attention. "I... I... I told her to not come to the party. I called her and told her she couldn't come. I promised you I would do everything in my power to always keep you happy and content and comfortable and secured and I didn't do that. I failed." Tears were flowing freely from her blue eyes, a shade of blue extremely similar to Alex's if you ask Tobin. "If you are uncomfortable around her then I'm uncomfortable around her because we are one heart and one flesh and I don't want us to be uncomfortable in our own home at our house warming party. I'll stop talking to her if you ask me to just don't leave-" Kelley didn't let let finish. She crashed her lips with hers, starting a passionate, affectionate kiss, pouring all their love and respect into it. They both wanted to show each other how sorry they really were. After a few more seconds, they settled down and broke apart, taking a step back to create some distance. "me." Bella finished her sentence, shocked and overstimulated. She felt her heartbeat behind her ears.

"I don't want you to do that, I trust you" Kelley decided to do some apologizing of her own. She took Bella's face in between her hands and stood close to her, leaving only a few inches between their faces. Just what's necessary to be able to speak without speaking into her mouth, their noses touching. "You have never given me a reason to doubt you and I'm sorry I ever did. She can come to the party, I trust you with all my heart and soul. You're my life, you and the kids" The defender sealed the deal with a quick peck on the lips and caressed her crying girlfriend's face. She was crying too.

"Thank you baby but I mean it. If you don't want me to be friends with her anymore I won't, you just have to say the words" Bella had a fire and a look in her eyes that made her look sincere, of course she was, she was willing to compromise on everything for Kelley, no doubt, no questions asked. She loves that girl more than anyone else. She plans to marry her. "I like her as a friend and if she wants something else from me then I'm sorry because I'm never leaving you. You are stuck with me" Bella said honestly, looking straight to Kelley's eyes.

After a few seconds of staring at the couple staring at each other, Tobin looked up to lock stares with certain forward over the couple's shoulders.

Her eyes were soft and careful, her facial expression was insecure and her bottom lip was being held between her white teeth, something that ignites something within Tobin she can't comprehend.

She's a fool for the lip bite.

They kept their eyes on each other's, afraid to break the eye contact. «If she walks away from me one more time I'll break» Alex thought. Normally, when she's going to face Tobin she prepares herself mentally to get rejected and hurt tremendously, but she wasn't prepared for that now. If she did, she would break into little unfixable pieces.

Both girls swallowed down a lump and shut out the world around them, just like they used to. Allie kept a close eye.

After a few more seconds that felt like centuries, Alex broke their staring contest.

"Well, I'm babysitting and sacrificing my bed, we'll leave you alone so you can make up correctly. See you in a few"  
"Or more than a few" Allie is realistic and follows her roomate's lead, stepping out of the room. Tobin hesitates but does the same. "Harry and I will go away too"  
"Okay, thanks you guys, and thank Mal for me, Al" Bella holds Kelley close and turns to face her.  
"You got it, baby sister" She winked at the couple and pushes them inside her room, shutting the door behind them.

She wasn't sure of how proceed with this so she just stood there, balancing herself on her feet.

"Do you wanna go wait in my room?" Tobin asked both of them — much to both of the girls' surprise. Allie nodded and stared intendly at the forward.

She blinked a few times to check if she was dreaming. «What a day», she thought.

"Oh, I was going to wait at Ashlyn's and Ali's probably but if you're sure I'd love to" Alex plays with her fingers and looks down, not catching Tobin's informal shrug.  
"I'm fine. You're the reason I'm not being thrown out of my room so that my roommate can fuck with her girlfriend so it would be unpolitically to leave you alone without offering" Tobin turned to face her blonde friend. "Come on Harry, let's get snacks and get ready for team bonding" Both girls followed.

«She curses now?» Alex thought.

\- - - - -

"Who's that?" Allie asked from the bathroom, were she was doing her make up. Something Tobin thought illogical.  
"Laure, we're going out tomorrow" Tobin replied distractedly.

Alex froze.

She knew Tobin and Laure were a thing but she didn't want to hear it from her.

"Oh, where to, Harry?" Allie came back to the room, fully ready. "It has to be fun and thoughtful if you want to make it up to her" Allie took a seat in front of Tobin's bed (where she lays) in Bella's (where Alex lays, trying to lay low) and leaned towards Tobin.  
"I haven't thought of that yet. I'm still trying to get her to say yes" Tobin kept writing and deleting texts, unsure of what to send her.

«Trouble in paradise?» Alex asked herself.

"What?" Tobin asked. Apparently, she asked it out loud.  
"Oh, nothing, just thinking about my book" She brought the book up to make it seem more true. Tobin shrugged and went back to texting.

«Laure: I don't think is a good idea. I am not training tomorrow with you, I was invited yesterday. If you can and are not tired after you can call me but stay and train»  
«T: Sorry, I got busy. Kelley needed my help»  
«Laure: No problem but that is what I mean. You are busy and tires and I don't want to make you more tired»  
«T: Don't be silly, I want to. You don't make me tires, you make me happy. Let's meet tomorrow and go get an ice cream. That's it, one ice cream and that's it. What do you say?»

"Why is she saying no?"  
"She doesn't want me to be too tired for practice the day after and wants me to spend time with you"  
"But she came to spend time with you, Harry"  
"And I know that, that's why I'm spending time with her tomorrow. There's no one or the other, I can spend time with all of you and still be prepared for training sessions" She shrugged and patted the other side of the bed so Allie can lay there. She did.  
"You can't have it all though. You know that right?" She sighed.  
"Ugh, I know"

«Laure: OK. I see you tomorrow»

There's a knock on her door.

Tobin got up after a grunt and opened. She smiled when she saw who was behind it.

"Hey you"  
"Hey yourself" They greeted like they used to.  
"What makes such well educated princess come down of her well organized castle to this servant's humble abode?" Tobin bowed to her.  
"Wanted to see of the people live without commodities" Chris answer with a grin. "Okay, besides our little act here, I wanted to let you know the hangout will officially start in 10 minutes, so I and to pick you us. Also, to remind you you owe me an ice cream and I expect to collect it soon" Tobin smiled.  
"I sure do. Thanks for always being so nice and picking me up, but I'm not alone, you do think we fit in your carriage?"  
"You bet. I obviously knew Bella and my babies would be here" She rolled her eyes and tried to look over Tobin's shoulder.  
"They're not here. Ashlyn and Ali took the kids for a treat and Bella and Kelley are... Making up at room 1-13" Tobin shook her visual thoughts away. "I'm with Allie and..." She stepped away letting the forward look for herself.

What she saw was a surprise Allie and a very mad Alex. «Oh oh» She thought.  
"Oh, better! How are you?"  
"Fine" Alex spat. She got up and put her book down at Bella's nightstand. She crosses her arms and stood there, silent, with a permanent frown on her face.  
"Yeah, we're good" Allie tried to light up the mood, as usual.  
"Oh, okay. Well, are you done? Are you coming?"  
"Yeah, sure thing. Let's go" Alex practically ran to Chris, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the elevators. "Come on you guys!" She yelled from the outside of the room.

When Tobin locked eyes with Chris she was shocked. She turned and saw Allie as confused as Press was. «At least I'm not the only one» she thought.

She shrugged and followed the pair of forwards. Allie did the same.

The elevator ride was uncomfortable to say the least — at least Alex had let go of Christen's arm mch to her relief. She'd have a bruise surely.

When they hit the second floor, they all got out and walked to the room number 2-11.

"Are you sure they're already here?"  
"They must be, Ashlyn texted me to bring you" Chris checked her phone looking for the text. When she found it, she showed it to Tobin who was next to her. Allie and Alex were a few steps behind. "See?"

«Ashlyn Harris: Press! Hey gorgeous, can you bring Tobin up to my room? Bring her soon, please. Thanks!» It was sent a few second ago to the girl next to her.

"Oh, well, you should text her letting her know we're here with them" Tobin pointed to the pair of eyes staring directly at her.  
"Yeah" She did just that and got a response almost immediately.

«Christen Press: Hi Ash. We're here with Alex and Allie. Open up please»  
«Ashlyn Harris: No, just you and Tobs. Tell the girls to please come back later»

She frowned deeper and looked back at the mentioned girls.

"Girls, can you come back in ten?"  
"What?" Alex was in shock.  
"They just need us, sorry" Chris blushed.  
"Okay, we'll come back later. Bye Harry have fun, let's go Al" Allie grabbed her and pushed her towards the elevators.

Tobin and Press saw them leave and then knocked.

They opened the door in half a second.

"Hey, thanks for coming, we need help" Ashlyn was holding Asher, rubbing his back.

She looked tired and stressed, and even if Tobin couldn't see his face, she bet Asher's face looked exactly the same.

"Come in" Ashlyn stepped aside and turned around, letting the girls see Asher's face. He had her eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. His eyes were red and puffy, his mouth was purple and he let his arms hang over Ashlyn's shoulders.

The girls gasped and stepped inside, closing the door behind them.

"What happened Ahslyn? Where's Ali?" Christen asked rubbing Asher's back motherly and leaning close to him.  
"With Lexa, puking, in the bathroom" Ashlyn had so much panic hidden behind her eyes, Tobin couldn't concentrate on anything else.  
"What happened?" Tobin asked again, giving Ashlyn a calmed nod. Ashlyn nodded back.  
"We went for a treat and they chose a weird looking cake. It was bright blue and purple and color sparkles on it. Well, we're softies for them so when they used their cute little faces we agreed and bought it for them an got ourselves a milkshake and before we could finish our milkshake, they started throwing up and we came running"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys!!! 
> 
> Hope you liked it. If not, let me know and if you did, also let me know.
> 
> Be kind:)


	20. To Build A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can go ahead and play the song when they lock eyes. You'll know what I mean.
> 
> Hopefully, no one's too mad at me for this chapter. I'll have one up soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hopefully you like this. Preath shippers, you might be mad at me at first but it gets better. Talex fans, don't worry, it'll get better.
> 
> Just don't be mean in the comments :(

"Not that I'm complaining but why call us?" Tobin took the boy from Ashlyn's shaky hands and held him bridal style.

She took a deep breath trying to stop her panting. She started pacing around the room and rubbing circles on her temples, trying to appease her paralyzing headache.

"Christen, you know first aid, right?" She nodded. "And Tobs you always calm me and Ali said I needed to calm down" Ashlyn opened her eyes and left the room to check on Ali. Christen took this as her opportunity to check on Asher.  
"How is he?"  
"Sweating and tired. He's a bit red and hot but my guess is he doesn't have a fever or anything. I think all those fake ingredients didn't settle well in his tiny stomach but nothing else" He opened his eyes for a second and shut them again before they could lock with Tobin's or Christen's. "Hey buddy" Nothing. He's too tired to talk, fr puking his soul out. "I still don't understand why they did not call B or Kell. Or a doctor for that matter"  
"They're panicking, they don't want to be that couple that failed to take care of the two most loved children on the team when they got food poisoned. Makes sense?" Christen offered an explanation.  
"It doesn't! Michelle, I told you to call Bella and Kelley!" Ali walks in holding Little Alex close to her, with Ashlyn following suit.

"I tried but they didn't pick up and I panicked and call them" The goalkeeper stood next to Tobin to check on the boy while Chris walked to Ali to check on the girl.

Alex looked tired and pale. Her stomach ache and her hurt.

"Mommy?" Lexa's voice was so shaky and fragile it broke everyone's heart.  
"No baby, it's aunt Chris. You want me to call your mommy?" Christen said with a voice almost as sweet and delicate as the little girl's.

Lexa did what any baby would do when in need of affection and being offered to call her mother, she reached her arms up and offered herself to the forward.

Open arms took her in and held her close to her aching chest. It was painful to see those beautiful, delicate children in pain.

"Bella is going to kill me" Ashlyn allowed a year to roll down. Tobin gave the boy to the defender and went to console her sobbing friend.  
"She won't, it's not your fault. This things happen" She grabbed the goalie's strong shoulder and gave her a sympathetic look.  
Ashlyn shook her head and sniffled. "You don't know. It was my fault, that cake looked shady as fuck! I could've protected them"  
"From a piece of cake? They're kids! That's nearly impossible. Let this incoherent guilt slide men, you need to grow a pair and help me get their mom and take them to a hospital so they can give them some medicine and that'll be it. Come on" Tobin patted her back and stared walking out, but before she could reach the door, Ali spoke up.

"Let's all go" She grabbed her coat and signalled Ashlyn to grab hers and the kids's before leaving for the elevator.

\- - - - -

"Hey, hey! We're knocking!" Tobin yelled through the door. They had been there for 5 minutes, knocking without an answer.  
"Yeah, we're coming! A second!" Bella opened the door with a satisfied look on her face and a towel around her neck. Once she saw everyone's faces, hers changed. "What's going on?" She matched everyone's concern.

"Sorry man but we gave your kids some crappy cake and now they're sick. We're taking them to the hospital" Ashlyn's glassy eyes were locked with Bella's.  
"Let me see them" She calmly said.

Ashlyn and Tobin turned for her to see her kids. They were resting their little heads on the girls's shoulders. She caressed her son's face and then her daughter's. Little Alex squeezed Tobin's shirt tighter, her mom's hand was cold and wet.

"No need to take them to the hospital. They're okay"  
"Okay?! Men they've been vomiting their souls our for the last half hour and you say they're okay?!" Ashlyn's voice made Asher hide his face on the crook of her shoulder, the loudness of it made her chest rise and disturbed his sleep.  
"Calm down bro, yeah, they're okay. Come in"

They all stepped in just in time to catch Kelley stepping out of the bathroom, freshly showered. She frowned and ran to Little Alex.

"What happened?" She kissed the little girl's forehead and faced Bella.  
"They got sick. Cake" Kelley nods and gives them a look Ashlyn can't comprehend.  
"You are absurdly okay with the fact that your fucking kids might be dehydrated by now from puking" The goalkeeper looked at them like they grew two heads each.  
"Relax!" Bella rolls her eyes and takes her son from her arms. She carries him to Alex's bed bridal style and lays down with him.  
"Yeah, they get sick all the time. They have sensitive stomachs so we don't make a lot of fuss now. We got used to"  
"At first, I called the pediatrician like 20 times every 10 minutes. She'd get mad at me. Insanely mad" Bella started playing with the boy's hair, keeping him sound asleep.  
"If this happens all the time then how can I never seen them like this? This has never happened before, not with me around" Ashlyn was still on the edge, so her girlfriend hugged her to try to calm her down.

Kelley went to take the girl from Tobin's arms but she refused, resting her face on Tobin's strong chest and shaking her head into her chest. Kelley opened her mouth in shock and amusement and Tobin gave her a proud smile. «Alex's like me... It's a name thing too» She thought.

"They were getting better, we give them a pill every morning before breakfast but I think with all the fighting we forgot" Kelley flashes her girlfriend a sad smile and goes to her to lay down with two of her favorite three people alive and nonliving.  
"Chrissy, can you please go to my bag and get a small medicine box that reads «Tummy» on it? It's a purple plastic box with a bunch of gummies inside of it. They're kinda funny looking, they don't look like pills but like gummy bears"  
"I can, but don't call me that" Bella smiles and sends a kiss her way.  
"Tobs, please out my daughter down now, she's asleep. Maybe you can go get my bag with Chris? I want to change them into something more comfortable"  
"Sure" She hands Kelley the girl and takes a step back, fixing her shirt. "Should I bring their bags or some clothes?" She asks, standing next to Chris by the door.  
"Whatever you want, just be quick with the pills, you won't believe for how long they can puke without it"  
"I can't believe how much those little stomachs can hold, bro. It'll hunt me forever" A much more calmed Ashlyn joked fr her spot, holding Ali close. They all laughed.  
"A couple of odd-looking pill gummies coming right up" She grabbed the forward's hand and took her to the elevator in a heartbeat.

They locked eyes and smiled.

The elevator doors opened and they got in, marking Tobin's floor.

They got out and started joking around. It was easy to be immature and giggly around the midfielder, so the usually serious forward let herself be relax by the smiley girl's laid back personality.

"Did you see Ashlyn's face when she said it was okay?" Christen asked. They laughed loudly.  
"She looked at them like they were insane!" They laughed louder, opening the door, being surprised with what was inside it, but only seconds after waking in and laughing hysterically. Tobin was the first one to take in her surroundings, frowning. "Oh, you're here"  
"Oh, yeah, sorry, Bella slipped me her card through the door after you guys went into Ashlyn's and Ali's room" Alex looked between both of them. "But we can leave if you want-"  
"No, it's okay. We're just here to get something for Asher and Alex. Sup Harry"  
"Ya know, chilling" Allie cleared her throat and stood, going to the bathroom. "I'll be back"

They all stood there awkwardly until Christen decided she had enough and walked to Bella's suitcase.  
"I'll grab the pills, you grab the bags" She instructs.  
"Sure thing princess"  
«Princess?» Alex asked herself on her mind.

After a few seconds they had all the demands and they were ready to go. Allie walked out and tried to avoid everyone's eye contact. The ambient was so tense you can cut the air with a knife.

"What you looking for, Harry?" She tried to light up the mood, examining the cartoon suitcases on Tobin's hands.  
"Asher and Alex's bags" She brought them a little higher, showing her. "Bella needs it"

Alex's phone went off, earning everyone's attention. She took the call without hesitation and took it to her ear.

"Hello?" She talked to the phone. Her expression morphed into a much worried one once the person behind the call talked. They could hear the sounds but could piece out the words. "What? No" «She's scared» Tobin recognizes. "Okay, give me a minute, I'm going up there" She hung up and stood. "You're going to my room right?" Alex tried to make it a question but it came out a statement as well, something right in the middle. Christen and Tobin nodded. "I'm coming too. Allie?" She turned to face her best friend. She got another nod. "Okay, let's go. My babies need me" she ordered and everyone followed. She called the shots, apparently.

\- - - - -

"We're here. What's happening?" Alex announced them and walked straight to the family.  
"Shhh, they're asleep" Bella shut her off.  
"Isabella" Alex rolled her gorgeous eyes.  
"Alexandra" Bella rolled hers too.  
"Children, settle down" Kelley did as well.  
"What happened, Kell?" She tried again while the two gave them the requested objects.  
"Oh, thanks. They ate cake they didn't process too well" Alex took a deep breath and rested a hand in her chest.  
"Thanks God. Bella scared me"  
"She does that all the time though" Allie joins the conversation falling on her bed. Christen soon joined her, sitting next to her. Tobin decided to stand.  
"Shut up Al"

They laughed and looked at the two sleeping kids. They very seriously the two cutest kids they have ever seen. Bella did good.

"Okay, enough with the staring. I'll wake them up and give them this" She shook the gummy bears. "And forced them to apologise to Ashlyn and Ali for tricking them into buying my trouble children cake. Off you go" She tried to dismissed everyone but no one was leaving.  
"Nah men, I'm staying" Ashlyn refused.  
"Me too" Ali agreed.  
"Me too" Everyone said before Bella shrugged and shook their children's bodies.

They opened their cute little eyes and looked around, taking in their surroundings.

"Are we in trouble?" Asher asks looking at her mom's eyes pleadingly.  
Everyone laughs. "Not right now buddy, but you will once you feel better"  
"Then I'm not better" Asher closes her eyes with a lot of force for a second before curiosity hits him hard and he then slightly opens his dark blue eyes.  
"I can see you cute little blue eyes from here" Bella laughs.  
"Blue eyes?" Tobin asks. "Let me see" She sits next to Bella on the bed and leans in, trying to catch Asher's eye. "Bud, let me see"

He slowly opens his eyes to reveal in fact two dark blue orbs. «I could've sworn his eyes were green a few minutes ago»

Once his eyes were wide open, Bella smirked and went for a high five with Tobin.

"Ha! Eyes open, you're better. You're in trouble" Asher pouts and the girls smile.  
"But my eyes are closed, I'm not right?" Alex whispers from her place on Kelley's protecting arms. Everyone laughs and Bella decides she's not going to scold her kids for being kids. Kids eat cake, kids do whatever to get cake to eat, kids act like that, her kids are no different.  
"None of you are in trouble. I just need you to eat your gummy bear" Bella shows them two gummy bears — one for each — and sits up, sitting her son in front of her on the bed with his legs crossed, mirroring her position. Kelley did the same with Alex.  
"Okay" Asher rubs his eyes.

When both gummy bears had already been eaten, the air lost a bit of its weight from all the accumulated tension and concern.

"Okay, you're fine. Let's go. To the shower" Bella stood up and brought them up with her. She held her son's hand so he could jump off the bed and Kelley carried her daughter to the bathroom.

"Okay, you know the drill, strip" Kelley commanded, to later walk out laying down next to Alex on the forward's bed. She saw Tobin switch her uneasy eyes from Allie's bed to Alex's and saw her bodyweight switch from resting majorly on one foot to the other. "Tobs, come here" she tapped a side of the bed next to her. This wasn't the first time she would be in-between these two. "Come" she said once she figured why she didn't want to. She wanted to keep her distance from Alex.

Tobin reflected on her options.

She could either walk out claiming to have something to do or she could make her way to the bed and ignore Alex's existence.

«Every time I'm on Alex's bed something horrible happens. I can't be con Alex's bed» She forbid herself but her body was already walking. «Shit»

She sat and adjusted her back. «Maybe she won't make a big deal out of this so I won't have to» Tobin hoped.

«This is not the way I want her on my bed, but if she was willing to sit then that must mean something, right? That she believes me when I say I've changed» Alex hoped too.

Kelley reached Tobin's arm and brought her down for her to lay alongside her. She wanted cuddles from her two best friends and she wanted the mentioned two to get along enough for them to stand in one room alone with her so she could break the big life-changing news she has. «Maybe I could take this step by step, nice and easy without them knowing I'm making them like each other again. Maybe I can» Kelley also hoped.

Kelley snuggled into Tobin's side and took a deep breath. She smelled like the beach.

"I missed you Tobs" Kelley admitted.  
"I missed you too Kells" Tobin cracked a smile.  
"I have something to tell you both" She whispered, looking into the two set of curious eyes looking back at her.

"Maybe we should go" Ali spoke up, breaking their peaceful moment.  
"Yeah, we have people expecting us" Ash agreed.  
"I should follow them" Chris joined the couple by the door.  
"Me too" Allie got up and did the same.

"No, let's all go. The kids are getting ready. My love, can you give me some clothes for the babies?" Bella appeared from behind the bathroom door.

Kelley nodded and got up, leaving Alex and Tobin laying on Alex's bed, staring intendly at each other's eyes, locked.

Suddenly, Alex felt like crying. It seems it's been centuries since they've been like this. Peaceful, comfortable, quiet, looking directly at each other's eyes without ever breaking apart from their eye contact.

«If you could make you understand just how much I've missed you and how much I've changed, you would come back to me» A stray tear fell from one of Alex's remorseful eyes. Tobin saw it and had to fight an impulse to wipe it off with her thumb.

It was easy to fall back to old habits, and it was specially easy for Tobin to fall back into forgiving Alex and loving her once more, but it wasn't easy for her to be happy. And she is happy but not with Alex, so she can't allow herself to do so.

She won't fall back.

The time they laid there without a care felt like centuries but it was only a few seconds. A few seconds that gave Alex hope and Tobin determination.

Tobin was the one to break the moment.

She stood up and scurried our of the room, taking Allie's hand in the process, taking her with her to a secluded area. She needed to blow some steam.

She stopped on front of the elevator and Allie did nothing but to push the button and look sympathetically at her best bud. Tobin started hyperventilate. She get trapped. «The room is spinning too fast» She thought, and decided to do the one thing she always does.

She ran.

She ran quickly towards the stares, looking for a faster way out, as usual.

Allie yelled and chased after her but Tobin was too quick for her, so she was left behind. Tobin couldn't even look back to see if Allie was chasing her, she just needed to get out that hotel as soon as humanly possible. She was suffocating.

When she reached the outside of the hotel entrance she felt a pair of warm arms surround her waist from behind, but it wasn't the pair of arms she expected.

"She hurt you bad but it's time you allow yourself to move on" Christen said in a sultry but comforting voice. "You're done fighting this link your own" She announced while Tobin fought tears with all she had, only managing to keep her crying to a minimum, making it just a soundless sob. "Let go, let me in. Let us in. Let go" When Christen said the magic words, Tobin finally broke. She did what she was commanded, she let go. She got it all out. She cried freely and without holding back.

Christen let go of her to make her turn and face her, hugging the midfielder with all her strength, as if she needed to do it like that in order to keep all the pieces of her together. In a way, she was doing just that — holding her as tightly as it's required to keep Tobin to falling apart outside in the open, there for everyone to see and witness.

In another time, Tobin would absolutely freak out over that, the fact that they're outside in public, but this time, she just needed the support and helpful and encouraging words being spoken to her ear.

"I got you. Let go" Christen whispered to Tobin's ear, locking eyes with Ashlyn and Allie. She gave them a look and went back to just holding the girl tight.

Tobin sobbed uncontrollably into Christen's shirt for what felt an eternity. She sobbed until she couldn't do it anymore and then, she felt Christen break their hug, but before she could complain or ask why, she felt two arms swipe her off the grown and into a strong chest.

She was carried to a room, she couldn't see anything due to her current position, her head buried in her saviors chest, but she could hear and feel everything going on around her.

"Toby, I'm putting you down. Or would you like me to hold you like this some more?" It was Ashlyn. Ashlyn's voice resonating through her chest awoke Tobin. She felt embarrassed.

She has never acted so weak around them.

She removed in-between Ashlyn's arms and the goalie placed her on the bed, but Tobin stood up like the bed was blazing hot and straiten her clothes.

When her eyes scanned the room, she found herself inside her hotel room, along Chris, Allie and Ashlyn. What were understanding looks she mistook for pity looks and a sour taste appeared on her mouth, suddenly, she wanted to run again.

She was almost going to, but two simple words kept her nailed to the floor.

"We're here" Christen offered.  
That hit Tobin hard.

They were not looking down at we with pity, they were offering their hands to her, offering their help and love. They were there for her.

Tobin's whole features changed and she fell on her bed.

The three girls sat next to her in silence, looking outside the balcony. It stared to rain. Maybe God was crying with Tobin. Maybe it was His way of acknowledging her grieving.

She felt consoled by that thought, and allowed a sad smile to creep into her face, and let her head fall into Allie's shoulder.

"All's going to be okay, Harry" She nodded into her shoulder. Allie was right. And with Ashlyn to her left and Allie and Christen to her right, she felt less alone than ever.

Little did she know four other people were in the same position as they were, just one floor above them.

Alex, crying uncontrollably, sat between Ali, Syd, Mal and Kelley. Bella decided it was better for her to take her kids elsewhere.

Kelley and Mal rested their heads on Alex's spasming shoulders. No words could possibly help with the pain she was under. She broke the girl she loves, the love of her life bad enough for her to feel she wasn't deserving of loving. She broke her bad enough to make her never want to be with her again.

She broke her bad enough for her to feel like she could never trust her again.

"I did bad. I did horrible things to her, I know that. I admit that, and I probably deserve this, but I can't live without her. I can't. I gave her all I could, I was never truly loved like that" Alex let out all the things she hadn't said. "I convinced myself that if I was open about my feelings and my sexuality I would be set aside, that I would be torn apart, that I would be disrespecting and letting my parents down. That I was going to loose everything and everyone, so I rather hide them, hide who I really was" She sniffed. "I hurt her, but no one got more hurt that me. I used her and Servando and myself. I hid a part of me I desperately wanted gone. I hid the part of me that allows me to fall in love with her. I hid the best part of me" Alex's breathing was uneven and shallow, and she had everyone else crying too. "It's the best part of me because it allows me to be in love with her and she's the best part of me. She is, and without her..." She filled her lungs with air that seemed to burn its way in and out. Everything hurt without her. "Without her, I'm just all the most scary things about me. I'm all she's not. I'm sad and lonely and moody and angry and self-conscious and unstable and unsteady. I'm sorry, I truly am" Any of the witnesses have ever seen her like this. Alex always had a strong mask on, much alike Hope, and Kelley was reminded of a darker time. She cried harder and felt the unsettling need to kiss her girlfriend. "I want her... No. I need her to believe me!"

She shut her eyes hard. Unwelcomed flashbacks creeping in on her. Her mind filled with depressing memories of Tobin's departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think:)
> 
> Also, I NEED YOUR HELP!
> 
> I need help deciding on what to do with the story the next few chapters. I have two different directions I could make the story go in the immediate future (the next couple of chapters) but I'm not sure what to do so :( I need your help and guidance. If you'd like to help let me know in the comments and you could message or anon me on Tumblr or email or Instagram or whatever but I seriously need help.
> 
> I don't want to keep you waiting for very long and I'm afraid I might if I don't get help choosing.
> 
> Anyways, you're always awesome and thank you so much, as usual.
> 
> Be kind and have a great day/night!


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